


Yours Truly ; Charlie Weasley

by Stylesobsession



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Hogwarts, Love, Oral Sex, Post-War, Relationship(s), Rough Sex, Sex, Shower Sex, Stalker, Vaginal Sex, Wizarding Wars (Harry Potter)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-17 22:07:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 54
Words: 81,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29357724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stylesobsession/pseuds/Stylesobsession
Summary: "𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚠𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚜𝚞𝚙𝚙𝚘𝚜𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚖𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐." 𝙸 𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚊𝚝 𝚑𝚒𝚖, 𝚌𝚊𝚞𝚜𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚑𝚒𝚖 𝚝𝚘 𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚙 𝚒𝚗 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚝𝚛𝚊𝚌𝚔𝚜.𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚕𝚒𝚎 𝚜𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚎𝚍 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚍𝚛𝚘𝚙𝚙𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚋𝚘𝚘𝚔 𝚟𝚒𝚘𝚕𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚕𝚢 𝚘𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚝𝚊𝚋𝚕𝚎 𝚋𝚎𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚎 𝚜𝚙𝚒𝚗𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚕𝚘𝚘𝚔 𝚊𝚝 𝚖𝚎."𝚆𝚎𝚕𝚕 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚍𝚘 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚎𝚡𝚙𝚎𝚌𝚝 𝚖𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚜𝚊𝚢? 𝙸'𝚟𝚎 𝚜𝚊𝚒𝚍 𝙸'𝚖 𝚜𝚘𝚛𝚛𝚢 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝'𝚜 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚐𝚘𝚘𝚍 𝚎𝚗𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑, 𝚒𝚜 𝚒𝚝?"𝙸 𝚜𝚌𝚘𝚏𝚏𝚎𝚍 𝚊𝚝 𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝚘𝚏𝚏𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚍 𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚍. 𝙷𝚎 𝚑𝚊𝚍 𝚗𝚘 𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚋𝚎𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚘𝚏𝚏𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚍."𝚆𝚑𝚢 𝚠𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚒𝚝 𝚋𝚎? 𝙸 𝚍𝚘𝚗'𝚝 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝙸'𝚕𝚕 𝚋𝚎 𝚊𝚋𝚕𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚛𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚊𝚐𝚊𝚒𝚗." 𝙸 𝚎𝚡𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚒𝚗𝚎𝚍, 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚍 𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚐𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚎𝚜 𝚝𝚘 𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚖𝚢 𝚙𝚘𝚒𝚗𝚝 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚛𝚢 𝙸 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚑𝚒𝚖."𝙵𝚒𝚐𝚞𝚛𝚎 𝚒𝚝 𝚘𝚞𝚝." 𝚑𝚎 𝚋𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚍 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚕𝚎𝚝 𝚑𝚒𝚖𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏 𝚍𝚛𝚘𝚙 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚒𝚛, 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚎𝚢𝚎𝚜 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚢𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚘𝚗 𝚖e.
Relationships: Charlie Weasley/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 24





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! Thank you for deciding to read my Charlie Weasley fic. Before you do read, I have some disclaimers.
> 
> 1\. I do not own any recognisable characters nor the Harry Potter universe.  
> 2\. This story contains foul language, graphic scenes and smut but don't expect the steamy scenes to start right away.  
> 3\. Our protagonist Ember Coil is portrayed by Riley Rasmussen but you are welcome to imagine her however you want. That goes with Charlie as well.

**15 years prior**  
**//Narrator//**

1984.

After eleven years of waiting, the short girl with the long red hair and freckles across her nose, finally became a student of Hogwarts.

Growing up the third child out of eight, Ember Sienna Coil had looked forward to the day she got the opportunity to get away from the noise and the chaos that happened in her family home on Lower Shapter Street home in Exeter.

Sure, she now went to school with her older brother Crispus and her sister Avalon but at least she didn't have her five younger siblings running to her to solve whatever issue they had come across.

No, Ember was now officially a witch with her own wand made out of Vine wood, containing Phoenix feathers as core.

Ember loved her family. She loved them more than anything but a family of ten can't be expected to be quiet.

Her youngest brothers Romany and Brazier were the loudest. They were only three years old but they were the ones that Ember found the most annoying.

She was closest with Avalon, her fourteen-year-old sister or Calypso, her eight-year-old little sister.

The first week at Hogwarts was a dream according to Ember. She got to experience all the classes she'd have through her first year, she met the teachers and also her fellow classmates. Ember was a Ravenclaw just like her father and as far as now, she was the only one of her parents children who was in Ravenclaw. Both Crispus and Avalon made Gryffindor like their mother, but their father Clarence Coil was sure that in three years when the next Coil daughter started Hogwarts, she _too_ would make Ravenclaw.

Ember Coil met Charlie Weasley on the Thursday after they started their first year of Hogwarts. Both were walking down an empty corridor – in fact they were the only ones in that corridor. Charlie had way too many books in his arms that he couldn't possibly carry so when they all suddenly dropped to the floor and he had to pick them up, Ember ran over to help with a bright smile on her face.

She had heard of the Weasleys before, hell, the Weasleys were well known around Britain so most people knew who they were but Ember had never seen their faces and multiple people had red hair around the school, meaning she didn't suspect him to be the second child of Arthur and Molly Weasley.

"You should get yourself a bag." Ember had told the boy whose cheeks and ears had gone red from the embarrassment of dropping his stuff in front of someone else.

Charlie may only have been eleven, three months away from turning twelve and he may not have understood why but he had a feeling that he was meant to meet this girl. There was a specific glow over her when she smiled.

"They are kinda expensive." the boy muttered. Ember looked at him and noticed a certain look on his face, like he was embarrassed that his family couldn't afford a new bag for his books, but she was determined to make him feel better. She didn't like seeing other people be sad.

"Well that's okay!" she said enthusiastically. "I have a spare one you can have."

Charlie lifted his head to look at her while the two children got off the floor, both carrying the boys books.

"Oh, you don't have to–"

"It's really not a big deal." Ember offered him a smile before snuggling as she extended her hand while trying to still hold the books in her arms. "I'm Ember Coil."

The boy repaid her warm smile and wrapped his hand around hers to shake it. They were both looking at each other, realising that this could be the start of a very beautiful friendship.

"Charlie Weasley."


	2. Chapter 2

**December 10th - 1998**   
**//Ember Coil//**

I always loved getting creative. As long as I remember, I would sit and write small stories in my textbooks and I would always get in trouble over it when I turned in my homework.

When my fifth year came around and it was time to decide what career I would focus on getting into after, I was pretty clear when I talked to Professor Flitwick. I wanted to become an author.

Of course he then proceeded to tell me that it was a very unstable career, but I didn't care. I wanted to write books and I wouldn't stop until I was known all around Britain for my writing skills and my creativity.

On May 27th of 1991, hardly a month before graduating from Hogwarts, my crush asked me out. Charlie Weasley, the boy I had a thing for since fourth year. We went on a date to Hogsmeade and not long after we made it official that we were in a relationship.

After school, I went back to live with my family while Charlie went to Romania to work with dragons. I let him had some time to get his career started and once he found himself a place to stay, he asked me to move down to him which I did.

That's when I started being serious about my writing. While Charlie was at work, I'd sit at home in our flat and write down the ideas I had until it became an actual book. I think about a year passed because I finished the book and then I just had to edit it.

Charlie was supportive through it all. He even read the entire book in less than a day once I was finished with it, and afterwards he smothered me in kisses while telling me he was sure it would sell.

I went back to London to stay with my parents for a while as I was searching for the right publisher. I found one I liked but they didn't want to take a chance in someone who had never sold a book before so I continued my search. Eventually I found a publisher who wanted to buy and publish my book and once it was on the streets of Diagon Alley and Hogsmeade, it started selling like crazy.

I remember going back to Romania after a couple of months to see Charlie with a copy of my book. Apparently they had reached other countries as well and people were loving it, him included.

The first thing he did when I came home was to hug me and kiss me as hard as he could while hyping me up to the point that I couldn't stop laughing.

I used the money from the book to buy a loft back in London above an empty shop in Diagon Alley. Years later and that shop turned into my own publishing company called _'Coil's books',_ it's simple but somehow it's become a well-liked company.

That was two years ago and now I'm twenty-five. Charlie and I own two homes. One in Romania where he stays most of the time and one in London where _I_ stay most of the time. We're wizards so we can easily apparate to see each other throughout the day and we sleep in the same bed every night, sometimes in Romania and sometimes in London.

The last year has been hell. Last year I started writing a biography but I had to take a break this year due to the war. Voldemort came back in 1996 but the public didn't know until last year. There was a battle...

_The battle of Hogwarts._

Loads of people died, including Charlie's younger brother Fred. It was a loss to all of us. The boy was like a brother to me and he was Charlie's _actual_ brother. He died in May and ever since, life's been hell.

Charlie has taken a break from work so be home in England. He sleeps most of the day away while I go to work downstairs. He doesn't eat very much and when he's awake he mainly walks around in his pyjamas pants, his hair all messy and his face tired of fighting due to the grieving.

I try to be there for him. I offer my support and I offer myself if he need to talk to someone about it. He doesn't want a grieving counselor so I'll gladly be the one he can use.

It's hard seeing the person love go through something like that. It's hard seeing the whole family suffer but my family would be the same if we lost one of my siblings. It hurts, knowing that Fred is gone but I try to get through the day down in the shop with my twenty-year old sister Valencia who works for me along with our eighteen-year-old sister Amethyst.

That leads me to now as I was tidying up the boutique after a long day of paperwork in my office. Last year we started selling books too. So we're a company but we're also a book shop and my sisters are the ones in charge of that section.

I flicked my wand and a box of books from the floor rose into the sky before I guided it to a top shelf so I could unpack them on Monday. We're closed on weekends, except if there is an emergency with one of my clients.

"I think that's enough for today." I said through a yawn, my hands on my hips while I looked around, my eyes eventually falling on Valencia and Amethyst. "You're free to go."

I said my goodbyes to my two sisters and wished them a good weekend before I locked up and made my way to the back room where the stairs were.

"Charlie?" I asked into the loft when I walked through the door. I closed it behind me before pushing off my shoes. "Babe, are you in the bedroom?"

_No answer._

I sighed and I pulled the hair tie out of my hair, causing it to fall nicely around my face and shoulders. My feet moved towards the bedroom and I pushed the door open but froze when I saw him.

He had a trunk open on the bed and he was in the middle of packing all his clothes.

"Charlie?" I asked, carefully walking into the room. "What are you doing?"

He glanced at me but he didn't respond. He kept walking from the closet to the trunk with some clothes, then to the dresser to grab some more clothes and then packed those as well.

"Charlie—"

"Can you please—" he interrupted me, standing up straight to look at me. "Be quiet, _please."_

I frowned at his words before I walked over and slammed the trunk shut, almost getting his fingers caught in between.

"Do _not_ talk to me like that!" I told him. "I get that what you're going through right now is hard but you will still respect me like I respect you!"

He ignored me before opening the trunk again and continued his packing.

"What are you doing?" I asked. " _Where_ are you going?"

"Romania." He told me. His voice was cold and it was missing the caring tone he always had when he talked to me.

"Wha— I thought we were waiting to go back until the spring." I said. "I'd have to give the girls a notice so they'd be prepared. I can't just—"

" _I'm_ going to Romania, Ember." He interrupted me. "You're not coming with me. You're gonna stay here and you're gonna move on with your life and find someone else."

My heart dropped as the words spilled from his lips. Immediately I was overwhelmed by the fear of what was coming next. It sounded like he was breaking up with me. He couldn't possibly be breaking up with me.

"Charlie—" I breathed. "What the hell."

"I just— I need to get away from you." He said, looking me dead in the eyes. My heart shattered.

That's the worst thing you could ever tell someone that loves you. That you need to get away from them.

"You don't mean that." I said. My throat was tightening and my vision was starting to get blurred from the tears that dared to spill.

"I do." He nodded slowly. "Don't follow me. You can keep the loft and I'll stay in the flat in Romania. It's easier this way."

"What did I do?!" I raised my voice when he walked over to grab his wand. "We were fine this morning!"

"We are never _fine!"_ He yelled, turning around to look at me again. "If you think that's _fine,_ then you're fucking delusional. Since Fred died, you have been acting like nothing was wrong. You've been acting like he wasn't brutally murdered during the battle but he _did_ die and he was _my_ brother."

I ran a hand up and through my hair while the first few tears spilled from my eyes and rolled down my cheeks. I stared at Charlie, shaking my head at the things he were saying.

"No— I was trying to be strong for you." I sobbed. "I wasn't trying to act like it didn't happen. I was trying to be there for you, baby. Please don't—"

"Don't call me that." He interrupted. "Being around you is too goddamn hard when you keep smiling. There is _nothing_ to smile about anymore, Ember. Just— let me go. It's better."

I went to say something again but he grabbed his trunk and disapparated from our bedroom, leaving me in tears with my heart shattered all over the floor.

_Charlie left me._


	3. Chapter 3

**Four months later**

"It's getting quite good." Dad told me after he had read through the biography I was in the middle of writing. "You're really good at capturing your childhood."

I chuckled and grabbed the pile of papers when he handed them back to me.

"Maybe that's not because of my writing skill but simply because you raised me."

"Or maybe—" he pointed a finger at me and raised his eyebrows. "... a mix of both. You're a talented writer, Ember. Embrace that."

I shrugged in response, taking a look at the first page in my hands. It was my biography. I had gotten past my childhood and was starting to write about my adult life after Hogwarts.

"But you haven't mentioned Charlie once in it." Dad said. I looked at him before turning away to put the pile of pages back into my bag that I brought with me to my parents house earlier today.

"Charlie left me." I told him. "Why should I mention him in _my_ biography."

"Because you've known him for almost sixteen years." Dad hurried to say. "And you've dated him since you were seventeen."

Charlie was a big part of my life but the way he left me. I still don't know why. He wrote me a note and that was it. The last time I saw him was the morning before I walked down to work in the boutique. He kissed me goodbye like usual before he went back to sleep the pain away.

"Maybe I'll add him." I shrugged. "I'm still not finished with it though so it'll go through a lot of changes."

"I hope you're not talking about bodies again." Brazier's voice filled the room as he entered the kitchen, heading straight for the fridge. "Romany is still traumatized for when you tried to explain to us that our bodies would go through change in puberty."

A smile crept onto my face as I thought back to when the twins were thirteen and I decided to have the ' _talk'_ with both of them. Brazier looked really disgusted while Romany covered his ears and started signing a Christmas song to shut my voice out.

"I am still very grateful for that." My dad commented as he pulled himself up to stand. "You spared me from having that conversation with them."

I chuckled and dad patted my shoulder on his way out of the kitchen. I turned towards my younger brother who roamed through the fridge. He was probably looking for any pizza leftovers that we had yesterday.

Most days I come by to eat dinner with my parents and those of my siblings who still live at home. Other times I eat with Avalon, her husband and their daughter.

Currently I live with them. After Charlie left, I haven't been able to live in our loft. Everything reminds me of him and having to live on your own after a eight-year relationship isn't exactly easy.

Avalon's husband Mahlon is nice. He doesn't mind me staying in their guest room _at_ all. And I can talk to him about anything so them getting married only scored me a new friend, plus they gave me my first niece. Her name is Amber and she's an absolute angel. She loves that I'm staying with them and always want me to walk her to school. She's five years old but she'll be turning six in December.

"Where's the bloody pizza?" Brazier asked and turned around to look at me. "I swear there was like two slices left after dinner."

I nodded and placed a hand on my hip while he slowly closed the fridge.

"I think Calypso and Valencia got a hold of them this morning." I told him. Brazier's face immediately curled up into anger and I couldn't help but laugh. He looked like he did when he was a toddler and didn't have things his way. He'd get very cruel when angry, mostly verbal abuse and such. He had to get angry management classes when he was younger.

He and Romany are kinda similar but Romany doesn't get _that_ angry when he's upset. Though they're both very clever, cunning and determined on whatever they decide on. They're the first in our family who didn't get sorted into either Ravenclaw or Gryffindor. They got sorted into Slytherin.

Somehow they were both terrified that mum and dad would hate them and that the rest of us would bully them but that's not at all how it went. Our parents had to assure them that being in Slytherin wasn't a bad thing even if many people thought it was. We loved the twins just as much as if they had been in Ravenclaw or Gryffindor.

So we're eight siblings in total. Two of us are in Ravenclaw. That's me and Valencia. Crispus, Avalon, Calypso and Amethyst are in Gryffindor and the twins are as I just said... in Slytherin.

"They don't even live here!" Brazier exclaimed. "I should have dips on the leftovers because this is _actually_ my home! They just stay here like two fucking strays from the streets!"

I watched my younger brother as he stormed out of the kitchen, screaming for Calypso and Valencia to get out and find their own food.

"Leona, darling!" dad's voice was heard throughout the entire house. "Are my trousers still in the wash?!"

Mum shouted back but I decided to shut it out and turn my attention on Avalon instead as she entered the kitchen and smiled at me in the same comforting way that she had done since Charlie left me.

"We were thinking about heading home." she told me. "We just went around and said goodbye to everyone. Are you coming or staying?"

I shrugged and took a seat by the table.

"I might be staying." I told her. "But only for a couple more hours, then I'll be home."

"Alright." she nodded. "I'll see you."

She patted my shoulder and smiled again, then she turned around and made her way out of the kitchen. I sighed, leaning back in my chairs while I closed my eyes.

They all did this. My boyfriend left me so now I'm this pathetic woman who's too heartbroken to live in her own home, therefore she lives with her older sister's family. I'm pretty sure that's how they view me. I'm fragile. They basically walk on eggshells around me because they're too scared I'll break due to the trauma I'm already suffering due to my breakup. I hate that they all look at me like that. I'm still the same Ember. I'm just alone now. I hadn't been alone for fifteen years. He became my best friend at Hogwarts, he became family and then we dated for seven and a half years.

It was hard for me to sleep at night. I'd dream about him, which was something I hated. Therefore I mostly tried to stay awake so I wouldn't see him in my dreams. Charlie was my soulmate and I wanted to avoid thinking about him as much as possible because it hurt and I had always had a hard time dealing with pain.


	4. Chapter 4

Monday mornings were the worst. I woke up around six like usual, talked with Mahlon while he got ready to leave for work and I helped him get Amber ready as well. Then around seven, the two of them left. Mahlon would drop Amber off at school most mornings before getting to the ministry for work. Other morning I would drop Amber off before getting to Diagon Alley myself. This morning wasn't one of those. No, as they were getting ready to leave, Avalon would wake up and say goodbye to her husband and her daughter before saying good morning to me.

At around a quarter to eight, I apparated to my boutique and started getting ready for opening. I unpacked some boxes for the shop and got some paperwork ready in my office. I was thinking about hiring someone else to the publishing company. Right now I was drowning in work from my own biography so I needed someone who had experience who could help with some of the other clients.

Calypso and Valencia didn't have experience with publishing. They worked with selling books and other items in the shop which was out front of the offices and I wasn't gonna have them work in the publishing part of the company. Sure, they're my sisters and I love and trust them but again – they're not experienced with publishing people's books.

"Good morning my beautiful sister." Valencia's voice came from the door at the same time as the bell rang. I glanced towards her, smiling before I turned back to restocking shelves with books that just came in on Friday. "I just met Mr Lovegood outside."

"Oh you did?"

"Uh-huh." she nodded, taking off her jacket to hang it on the coat rack. "He was wondering if you'd like to partner up with the Quibbler."

"The Quibbler?" I frowned. "I thought they started working with the Daily Prophet during the war."

I looked at Valencia again as she walked over to join me in putting books on the shelves. I couldn't see why Mr Lovegood would want to partner with me when he just started partnering with the Daily Prophet not long ago. And I'm a publisher, not a paper.

"It was Luna's idea." Valencia informed me. "She thinks having you as the paper's publisher would be great publicity for them. Thinks it would have the opportunity to get bigger and better."

"Did you tell Mr Lovegood that I publish books, not papers or magazines for that sake." I chuckled.

"Maybe it's time to change that." she said. "I'm sure you'd make more money if you partnered with papers and magazines too."

I sighed, running my fingers through my hair. The bell rang and I turned towards the door to see Calypso enter. She smiled but didn't interrupt as she saw that Valencia and I were in conversation.

"If I took the Quibbler on, I would make enemies with the Daily Prophet." I told her. "I don't know, Val. I'll think about it."

"That's all I'm asking." she smiled. "But send Luna a letter, yeah? She's at Hogwarts, in case you didn't know."

"No, I know." I nodded. "Brazier and Romany are in the same year."

Our younger brothers went back to Hogwarts a few days ago after easter break. They know Luna very well and I think both of them quite fancy her if I have to be honest. Who can blame them though? Luna's a sweetheart.

"I'll write her and tell her I'll think about it." I said. "I should probably write her father too."

I greeted Calypso before I walked to my office was was one out of three in the back of the shop. I closed the door behind me and found my glasses, placing them on the bridge of my nose before I took a seat behind my desk. I hadn't been in my office for months. I had been using one of the others and now I knew why.

It felt like the picture frame on the desk was screaming at me. Screaming at the pain I tried to hide and ignore every day of my new life without Charlie. In the frame was a moving photograph. It was of young Charlie and I. We were fresh out of Hogwarts. It was actually the autumn after we graduated. We stood in a forest not far from my family's home. I was standing there, trying to smile for the photo that Avalon took while Charlie snuck up on me from behind, hands full of leaves that he decided to throw over my head. I'd laugh and turn around to look at him and then the photo would start over.

As quickly as possible, I grabbed the photo and pulled a drawer open, throwing it down there, then I slammed the drawer shut again. I shook my head, trying to forget what I just saw. I needed to focus on writing those letters to Luna and her father.

When I finished, I put them in the pile of letters to be send out, then I stood up and pushed the chair under the table. I looked around my office until my eyes landed on the portrait on the wall behind the office chair. Me and Charlie. I was sitting in a chair, smiling while he stood behind it, arms crossed on the back of the chair. We both looked so in love with just being in each others presence.

I groaned in annoyance over the portrait and grabbed it off the wall, strutting out of my office. Valencia was still stocking books while Calypso was looking through the mail that comes around this time on Monday mornings.

"Why did I dedicate my entire life to this idiot?" I asked, holding up the painted portrait in my hand. Both of my sisters looked up, then looked at each other as they didn't know what to say. "I have all these things that remind me of him. Photos, paintings, a fucking loft that I can't step inside of without breaking. I haven't been without him since I was eleven and I was madly in love with him but it seems as it wasn't fucking mutual."

I didn't know why I all of sudden felt the need to blurt these things. I guess it's because I had been holding it in for so long. Been holding my anger in. I've been without him for four months and not once have I talked to anyone about how I truly feel. I'm grieving a really long relationship and I don't know what to do with myself. I'm twenty-five and first now I have to learn how to live on my own. I've never lived on my own. Never been on my own. I grew up with a large family and then started dating someone who also had a large family. I've always been around people and when I stopped living with my family, I then lived with him so honestly, I had no idea how to do this. How to do life.

"Did you know that he told me he needed to get away from me?" I asked my sisters who were still just looking at me with those eyes full of sorrow. "His excuse was that I acted like nothing had happened. I don't buy that crap. I've been wondering–"

I took a deep breath.

"Is it my fault that Fred died?"

"What?" both of my sisters asked in unison. They shared the same expression. They were both frowning at my question and now they looked at me like I was insane.

"Why would you think that?" Calypso asked me. "You didn't kill him. One of the death eaters did."

"Yes." I sighed. "But I was there and Charlie knew it."

I was fighting alongside Fred and Percy when the explosion that killed Fred happened. When the explosion hit, I had been thrown across the hallway, my back and head hitting the wall. I was unconscious and when I woke up, Percy was gone while Fred's body lied on the ground, lifeless while his empty eyes stared up at the ceiling.

"Maybe Charlie started hating me after that." I explained. "Maybe he's angry that I couldn't save his brother. Or maybe he's simply angry because I survived the explosion when Fred didn't."

The explosion caused damaged. Of course it did. Fred dying was the worst of it and I'll never forget that. I live with the reminder not only in my memories, but also on my body. I have several scars from it around my body, especially this huge scar on my stomach from getting cut by a piece of broken cement from the wall.

"I am one hundred percent sure that Charlie never blamed you." Valencia said. "And if he did– if he does blame you, then he's just fucking stupid. Well, more stupid than he already is. He lost something amazing when he left you. He obviously had no fucking idea of how great of a person you are."

Calypso and Valencia shared a look before they both hurried over and wrapped their arms around me in a group hug. I laughed softly through the tears that blurred my vision, before I wrapped my own arms around them.

It had been weird actually sharing the feelings I had about what had happened with the battle and with Charlie and I afterwards. I had never shared it with them but I felt so much better, especially with them assuring me that Charlie was in the wrong, and that I had _done_ nothing wrong.

I didn't lose Charlie. Charlie lost _me._


	5. Chapter 5

"Maybe you should write a diary dedicated to Charlie." Avalon said when we ate dinner later that night. Amber was telling Mahlon about her day after she had already told Avalon and I about it earlier.

"A diary dedicated to the guy that broke my heart?" I laughed. "Absolutely not."

"Not like that." She smiled softly at me. "Get your frustrations out. Act like you write a diary, but instead of the whole _dear diary_ shit, write _dear Charlie_ and go from there. I think it could help you move on."

I shrugged and guided some pasta into my mouth while thinking about what my sister just suggested.

"I bought you a diary just in case you decide to do it." Avalon continued. "I put it on the desk in your room when I got home from work. All you need is a quill or a pen. Consider it, yeah? I really think it would be good for you to tell him what's on your mind without him actually reading it."

Alright maybe that didn't sound completely idiotic. I could definitely give it a try. Maybe in a day or two.

I lost things because of Charlie. I lost him and I lost our baby. I was pregnant when he left.

_Surprise!_

I had an abortion. Charlie left me so I didn't want to keep the baby and raise it without the father in the picture. If he didn't leave, maybe we could be expecting our child together.

That's one of the other things I hate about this. That I didn't get to become a mum like I'd always wanted. The only way I'd want to be a parent is if he could be the father. If we were in a relationship and we wanted to raise it together. I didn't want to do it on my own.

After dinner, I helped Mahlon wash the dishes while Avalon drew Amber a bath. They had a rule in their home, just like the rule Avalon and I grew up with at home.

No magic indoors.

When I was finished helping Mahlon, I put on some shoes and a jacket and then left the house. They lived near a forest and a river so sometimes I'd just go for a walk along the river, looking at the water and the fish in it, then at the trees and the birds.

Sometimes I'd sit by the water and just cry. Since Charlie left I had felt so broken and I didn't know what to do about myself. I don't think my siblings knew half of what was going on inside my head.

After all, some of them were in relationships. Avalon was happily married with a daughter. Crispus was married too. He married Carrie Littletree right after he finished Hogwarts. I think Valencia is dating some guy and then there're my younger brothers who are both crushing on Luna Lovegood.

Today was one of the days were I sat by the water and cried. I thought back to all the memories with Charlie.

I remember waking up to him. Most mornings he'd be up first but some mornings I'd wake up first, then he'd slowly wake up afterwards. He was always so clingy when he was tired and I loved it. I loved experiencing clingy Charlie.

One morning I woke up and I went to the balcony to watch the view. It was summer and it was hot outside. I was wearing only his white t-shirt and shortly after he joined me, his strong arms wrapped around my waist while he planted millions of kisses on my neck and my shoulder.

_I miss you, you idiot._

"It's quite beautiful, isn't it?" Mahlon's voice came from somewhere behind me. Then he sat down next to me and handed me a cup of coffee while having his own cup too. "When we moved here was the first time I've ever seen water so clear."

I sobbed and wiped my cheeks, nodding slowly while forcing a smile.

"You can see all the fish."

"You can see all the fish." He repeated through a laugh. He looked at me and I raised the cup to my mouth, taking a sip of the coffee. "Are you okay?"

I looked at Mahlon, then scoffed and looked away. I closed my eyes for a short second, taking another sip of the coffee.

"That's such a stupid question."

"Why's that?"

I hate being asked if I'm okay. It makes me want to cry and I'm already crying. I don't need more tears and I don't need more sorrow.

"Because you don't _want_ to know." I said. "No one ever means it. They all ask because they just assume you'll say _'yes',_ they don't know what to say or what to do if it's a no."

Mahlon took a deep breath and shrugged while he took a sip of his own coffee.

"I'm gonna ask you again— _are_ you okay?"

"No."

"Wanna talk about it?"

I sighed, lifting the cup back to my lips. I did want to talk about it but I never know what to say or _how_ to say it. I looked at Mahlon and playfully nudged him with my shoulder as I laughed softly.

"It's just stress." I lied. "With the company and the shop and all. Now I also have to consider if I want to open business for magazines. Luna Lovegood and her father wants to partner with me."

Mahlon raised his eyebrows in surprise, a smile creeping onto his face.

"Yeah? I think that's a lovely idea."

"Valencia thinks so too." I shrugged. "She says it's an opportunity to earn some more money."

"I mean—" Mahlon inhaled sharply. "She's not _wrong."_

I drank the rest of the coffee, swallowing it in one large sip. Then I took the cup from Mahlon's hands and drank that too.

"I just— alright." He breathed. "I'll go make myself a new cup and drink it somewhere you're not."

He stood up and smiled at me as he grabbed both cups from my hands.

"Are you gonna be okay?" He asked. When I nodded, he mumbled an _'okay',_ then made his way back along the river, towards the house.

I leaned back, my hands on the ground. I tilted my head back, staring up at the sky and the top of the trees.

It was so peaceful and quiet here. It was nice but it also made it easier for my mind to think about Charlie.

_I wonder what he's doing right now._

He's probably taking a shower. He had a routine and he almost always took a shower at this time of the day. Sometimes I'd join him and we'd end up making out against the glass screen.

-  
 _Dear Charlie,_

_Avalon bought me a diary and told me to write in it like I'm writing to you. She figures it'll help me get my frustrations out on you so here goes nothing._

_You're a fucking idiot._

_I hate you._

_I love you, but I hate you._

_Why'd you leave me, eh? Because I tried to be strong for you? Because I tried to be there for you through your grief?_

_Fuck you._

_You obviously don't realize what you lost when you disapparated from our loft that afternoon._

_Still I miss you. I miss what we were, I miss the fun we had together. I miss waking up next to you, I miss kissing you, getting your cuddles._

_I miss you._

_Yours truly,_   
_Ember Coil_


	6. Chapter 6

_Dear Charlie,_

_I keep trying to convince myself that I hate you. I want to hate you. There is just one simple problem._

_I can't._

_We went through so much together and you left me without a valid reason so yeah, I should definitely hate you._

_I just love you too much._

_I don't think I can get through this. I've been without you for four months and I know where you are. I've been thinking about visiting you so many times but I know it won't lead anywhere. You'd just tell me to leave and I wouldn't be able to convince you to come back to me._

_Did you know that when you left, I was pregnant? Yeah, almost eleven weeks pregnant. It was a girl. We always wanted our first child to be a girl. I had an abortion after you left because I couldn't do it without you. I didn't want to do it without you._

_Maybe you would've stayed if I told you I was pregnant. I was planning on telling you but you were in such deep grief about Fred and I was waiting for the right time._

_The right time never came._

_You left and I killed our baby. I killed our baby. Fuck I'm so sorry. I feel so guilty about it but I'm trying to convince myself it was the right thing to do._

_The child didn't deserve to be born into the world and only have her mother because her father left._

_You know what?_

_Fuck you, Charles._

_You made me cry again and I am so fucking tired of it. You don't deserve me. I deserve better and you are a fucking prick._

_I still love you though._

_Yours truly,_   
_Ember Coil_

_-_

The world is full of opportunities.

I know that because I'm an author. I get ideas, I write them down and I publish it for the public to read. The world is full of colour. At least that's what you see when you're happy.

Since Charlie left, I've seen the world as black and white. It _is_ black and white. The world sucks and so does people.

Usually sitting on the roof of my parents house and looking at the sky as the sun went down, would be something to motivate me. I'm currently writing a biography about my life, yet I'm more inspired to write. I know my life and I know what's happened in it but I have no idea how to write it down so maybe the view will get my mind to calm down so I can write again.

_Or maybe the bottle of firewhisky in my hand will help._

I took a sip of the bottle and swallowed harshly, then threw my head back.

Why does my parents let me sneak onto their roof and get drunk? Dunno.

Maybe they want to see me kill myself. Maybe they're secretly planning my death. Did they have insurance on me? I bet they want me dead so they can get money from it.

I'm twenty-five. _Can_ they have insurance on me?

"What're you doing out here?"

I turned my head to see my older brother crawl out of my childhood bedroom window. He looked at me and walked over, careful where he stepped so he didn't fall.

"Getting drunk on the roof? Trying to kill yourself."

He sat down next to me on the edge of the roof and grabbed the bottle from me, taking a sip.

"Maybe I am." I sighed. "Give me the bottle, Crispus. _I'm_ the one who needs to get drunk. Not the other way around."

My brother raised his eyebrows at me and took another sip of the bottle before letting it drop from the roof. I gasped, watching it land and crash against the ground.

"What did you do that for?!" I exclaimed. "That costed money!"

"Yeah, mum and dads money." He nodded. "I'll go clean it up in a minute. You shouldn't drown your feelings in alcohol."

I rolled my eyes and flipped him off behind his back when he got up to walk back inside.

"Now, I have to go and try to get my wife pregnant." He informed me, much to my dismay. "Mum basically forced us to do it here. She's been giving Carrie advice as to how to keep the sperm in there."

I snorted. That's something mum would do. She's so obsessed with babies. I mean, she did have eight and now she wants a whole bunch of grand babies too.

"Good luck big brother." I sighed. "Go knock up your wife while I jump off the roof."

"Ember!" He warned me. "Don't even joke about it. Get back inside and go to bed."

I stuck my tongue out at him. Crispus rolled his eyes at me, then crawled back through the window. You had to get through me and Avalon's childhood bedroom to get to the roof. It's what made our room the best in the whole house.

I pulled myself to my feet and looked out over the edge to see the shattered bottle. Then I got dizzy. It was the alcohol in my blood. My eyes widened as I suddenly got scared that I'd fall from the roof but instead I fell back next to the window.

Once again, I pulled myself up and slowly started crawling through the window, though my sock somehow got stuck, causing me to fall face first against the hard wooden floor.

A loud groan of pain left my mouth and I rolled onto my back, my sock still stuck. I ran a hand up to my nose when liquid that tasted like metal ran into my mouth.

Now my hand was full of blood.

That's what you get for getting drunk on the roof of your parents house. I screamed into the room. It was pure exhausting mixed with pain and heartbreak. I ripped my foot from the window and while I ripped my sock and also the skin on my foot, I still got free from the window.

"Fucking bitch!" I yelled at the window, grabbing the thing nearest me. I threw it at the window, though it only went through and landed in the grass in the garden.

I ran the back of my hand over my nose as I broke into tears. The blood from my nose was running down my face, into my mouth and down onto my shirt, even the floor but I didn't care about that.

Suddenly everything just broke. I had cried many times over Charlie but never like this. Maybe it was because I was tipsy, or maybe it's a mixture between the alcohol and the hitting of my head against the floor. Somehow, everything inside me just broke and I was a wreck on the floor at the end of my bed.

"You're gonna wake up mum and da—" I heard Valencia say near the door to my room but the sentence dropped and he froze. "Oh— uh..."

"Go to bed, Val." I sighed. I leaned back against the bed and closed my eyes as I calmed down from my outburst.

"Are you okay?"

_There is that question again._

"I'm fine." I told her. "Just go to bed. I'll see you in the morning."

Instead of doing what I told her to, she stepped inside of the room and found the light switch. I squinted my eyes at the sudden bright light that hit my eyes and when I heard Valencia gasp softly, I looked at her.

"I fell." I told her. "My face hit the floor. It's not a big deal."

Valencia walked to the wall and raised her eyebrows at me before she started banging her hand against the wall, causing me to sigh and roll my eyes.

"Crispus!" She yelled. "Can you stop the baby-making for a moment? Your sister is hurt!"

_Let Crispus have some sex. As tense as he's been lately, he can't have had any for a while._

Then again, neither have I.

Not long passed before Crispus showed up in the doorway to the room, wearing only a pair of pyjamas pants.

"What's going on?" He asked, looking at Val before his eyes flicked to me. "Holy— ew..."

"Thanks." I muttered. "I'll just fall asleep right here. I'll clean it up in the morning."

I went to lean my head back again and just as I closed my eyes, my brother picked me up with an arm under my knees and one behind my back.

"I told you I'd—"

"Shut up." Crispus told me, walking into the bathroom. He placed me on the sink before opening one of the cabinets to find a clean reusable facecloth. "Did you fall on your way through the window?"

I shrugged.

"Maybe."

Crispus laughed and wet the cloth before he grabbed my jaw and started cleaning up the blood in my face.

"You did the same thing when you were fourteen." He said. "You should consider stepping _through_ the window instead of crawling. That's what gets your foot stuck."

I had done it more than just two times. Crispus just didn't know. I couldn't count how many times Avalon had to help me up after I had fallen through the window.

It was my happy place. Charlie and I always sat on the roof together. He'd use apparition to come and sit with me during the evening and then apparate home again.

_Idiot._

"I'm a mess." I told my brother. He glanced at my eyes for a moment before he went back to concentrate on washing my face clean from blood.

"Can't argue you on that."

"Wow." I raised my eyebrows at him. " _Thanks."_

Crispus chuckled and finished cleaning up my face. He wet the cloth again, then grabbed my hands to clean them too.

"So—" I breathed. "How's it going on project _make-a-baby?"_

Crispus glanced at me then shook his head with a sigh. Not well I'll take it.

"We've been trying for months now." He told me. "Carrie wants us to pay St. Mungos a visit next week so we can get tested."

"You think you're infertile?" I asked and when he shrugged, I pouted. "That sucks. I know you've always wanted to be a father."

Crispus threw the cloth in the sink, then helped me get down. While he went to wash his hands, I turned and leaned on the sink.

"Do you think it's you or Carrie who's the problem?" I asked.

"Me." He sighed. "Carrie got pregnant with her ex before she met me. She had an abortion so it's quite obvious that I'm the one who can't have children."

_That sucks._

"I'm sorry." I told him. "But you know, there're always other ways. There're ton of donors or adoption. There's both wizarding agencies and Muggle ones. You'll be a dad someday. Just you wait and see."

My older brother smiled softly and dried his hands before he turned towards me, placing a fist against his hip.

"You should get changed into some clean clothes." He told me. "Those can be cleaned if you sponge the stains with hydrogen peroxide or rub bar soap into it, then scrub by hand in cold water."

I squinted my eyes at him and watched as he turned around and walked out of the bathroom.

_He's such a housewife._


	7. Chapter 7

_"Wake up, darling." Charlie's voice whispered in my ear as he ran his hands up my bare back to my shoulders. The sheets were only covering the bottom part of my body and I was lying on my front. "Em, wakey wakey."_

_"Go away." I groaned into my pillow. "I'm trying to sleep."_

_He hummed as his hands gently squeezed my shoulders, massaging into my skin. My eyes rolled back into my skull and I whimpered at the feeling._

_"I got you something." He whispered, planting a kiss below my ear. "Turn over, angel."_

_I hit him in the stomach. Not hard, but enough for him to groan softly. He smacked but butt, causing me to shriek before I rolled over on my back._

_"You're so annoying." I told him and ran a hand over my head. I opened my eyes and looked at Charlie. He had a light purple flower behind his ear and I watched as he grabbed it, then placed it behind my ear._

_"I found it on my morning run." He told me with a soft smile. "It's a gladiolus. Your birth flower."_

_"Oh—" I smiled softly, pulling myself up to sit against the headboard. I pulled the flower out from behind my ear and looked at it while Charlie sat down on the edge of the bed. "It's beautiful. This is my birth flower?"_

_"Yep." He nodded. He placed a hand against the mattress on the other side of my body and leaned forwards, nudging his nose against my jaw before kissing it._

_He ripped the sheets from my body and moved onto the bed to lie between my legs. I giggled when I saw his cheeky smile. He grabbed the flower from my hand and placed it on the nightstand, then brought his hand up to brush my hair out of my face._

_"What's your birth flower?" I asked, wrapping my legs around his hips as he lowered his face to kiss the side of my right boobs._

_"I have two." He breathed, wiggling downwards so that his face aligned with my stomach. "Narcissus—"_

_He planted a kiss above my belly button and I automatically inhaled sharply. He hadn't shaved for a couple of days so the stubbles were tickling the skin of my stomach._

_"— and poinsettia."_

"Ember!" Calypso called, snapping me out of my daily dose of daydreaming. I pushed the glasses further up the bridge of my nose and looked at my sister who stood in the doorway to my office. "Welcome back. Where'd you leave to?"

I chuckled and shook my head as I gathered the many papers on my desk into one pile, then shoved them into a drawer of my desk.

"Hi, I'm sorry." I breathed. "What's up?"

"There's a Weasley at the door for you." She said, my eyes immediately widening. "Oh, no I'm sorry! I probably shouldn't have said it like that. Not Charlie, sorry."

I looked down, shrugging.

"Didn't think he was the one you meant." I muttered which was obviously a lie. I still had this hope hidden away inside of me that one day he'd come back and have some explanation that I would be able to forgive.

"It's George."

Again, I looked up, my eyes wide but this time my lips parted as well. I stood up abruptly, my hands staying on the table.

"George's here?"

"Yeah." She nodded. "He says he needs to see you."

A heavy breath escaped my lips as I looked towards the calendar on my wall.

_May 2nd._

Fuck. It was a year since Fred died. I couldn't even start to imagine what George was going though.

"Tell him I'll be out in a minute." I said and Calypso nodded at me before she closed the door. I took a deep breath, shaking my hands while I made my way over to the mirror on the wall.

I looked like shit. I needed to do something about that. George was grieving his twin brother. He wouldn't feel much better if I looked like shit, so I had to at least look like I had my shit together and didn't secretly daydream about his older brother all the time.

I took off my glasses and packed them away before letting my red hair out of the bun. I brushed through it with my fingers until it didn't look as messed up anymore.

I made sure to have my wand on me as I left my office. I closed the door behind me and walked down the small hallway to the opening that led out to the shop out front.

George was talking to Valencia over by a bookshelf half full of books. My sister was restocking it, smiling to try and cheer George up.

"George." I greeted with a smile. He looked towards me and repaid the smile, though his eyes showed nothing but pain. "Hi, how are you?"

I opened my arms and he met me in a hug.

"Could be better." He shrugged when he pulled back again. "You? Have you heard anything from Charlie?"

I slowly folded my arms over my chest and let out a shaky break as I shook my head.

"I'm sure he just need some time for himself." George assured me. "But when he decides to return, I know Bill has promised to kick his ass."

A small chuckle rolled off my tongue as I ran a hand through my hair.

"I know you probably have stuff to do today." George sighed. "But I was wondering if I could take you up on that picnic offer?"

After Fred died, I offered George to plan a picnic to get his mind off everything that was going on in his life. He was trying to run a shop all alone while grieving his brother.

"Of course." I smiled. "I don't have any clients today so I've got the time. Come. I think I have some things upstairs."

I didn't even think. I led George to the back of the shop and up the stairs. It wasn't until I had the key in the door that I realized I hadn't been back since Charlie left.

"Something wrong?" George asked, looking at me with worry. I looked at him and forced a smile as I pushed open the door and led the way inside.

"I haven't been up here for what—" I took a deep breath. "Wait, when did Charlie leave again?"

"December."

"And that's— five months ago." I spoke, nodding slowly. "I haven't been up here in five months."

I took a look around, then looked at George before I threw my keys on the kitchen table.

"It's definitely dusty up here."

The door slowly slid closed behind us and I shortly glanced at it before walking to the cupboard.

"There's the picnic basket." I said, grabbing it from the floor. My eyes then landed in the boxes of schoolbooks. Mine's were the bottom boxes while Charlie's were on top and I automatically put down the basket again to pick up the Gryffindor tie in the box. I quickly let go of it and put the lid on the box, then grabbed the basket and left the cupboard. "Hey, I wanted to apologize, I wasn't there for your birthday last month."

Fred and George had always been like my brothers. I don't know if I have mentioned it but they really are. I know they've always looked up to me as the older sister they never had. They were six when I first met them and I had always treated them like they were family.

"Don't worry about it." George shrugged, leaning on the table in the kitchen. "I didn't want to do much out of it so we didn't. Plus, the most of us cried during almost the whole day. It wasn't fun. It's never going to be."

I bit onto my lip, feeling the tears sting behind my eyes.

_Don't cry. Don't you dare cry._

"Will you be there for Christmas this year?" George asked me. "I'm not sure Charlie won't so the coast is clear."

I chuckled, pinching the bridge of my nose before I ran a hand through my hair. I looked at George, smiling weakly.

"I don't know."

"Because I know mum's going to invite your family like Christmas four years ago." He told me. "It'll be fun."

"You think that's a good idea?" I laughed. "A house full of two big families?"

George shrugged but a smile spread on his face at the idea of sixteen+ people under one roof. It was difficult enough four years ago but somehow we managed to make it work.

"I'll go get us a blanket to sit on." I told him. "Where would you like to go?"

"I don't know." I heard him breath heavily while I made my way towards me and Charlie's bedroom, though I paused at the door. "How about somewhere near the beach by the shell cottage?"

I took a step away from the door. I couldn't bring myself to go in there. Being in the loft was hard enough but actually entering the room where we slept for years— that was just too much.

"That sounds cool." I breathed and looked at George. "Would you— there's a blanket on the ottoman at the end of the bed. Could you please go get it?"


	8. Chapter 8

I actually heard George laugh. We were sitting on the blanket in an area full of grass near the beach where Bill and Fleur lived, and I said some joke that made George laugh. I hadn't heard his genuine laugh since Fred died.

It was nice seeing. I hated how broken he was after he lost his twin. I understood it and I would never blame him for not being the same, but it was nice seeing him smile and laugh instead of crying.

"How's it going with the shop?" I asked him, throwing a strawberry into my mouth.

"It's stressful." He explained. "It's hard to do it all without Freddie, but I know he would've wanted me to continue. I'm thinking about hiring some more help. There's only me and Verity. Ron's actually offered to come help me manage the shop but I don't want to pull him away from being an Auror."

I hummed and crossed my legs as I looked at George. He had this distant look in his eyes while looking out at the ocean.

"How about your business?" George asked. "Oh, and your biography! Are you finished with that yet?"

I shook my head slowly, looking at him again as he took a bite of the sandwich in his hands. I used a simple spell to fill the basket with food. It's not like I had any at the loft, seeing as I hadn't lived there for five months now.

"I haven't had any motivation to write, so it's going a bit slow. But the business is going great! I have a lot of paperwork right now and then I might take on the Lovegoods and the Quibbler."

"I thought you wanted to publish only books." George frowned slightly.

"That was the initial plan but then Mr Lovegood wanted me to consider it and Valencia made me realise that if I take on papers and magazines, I can make more money."

"Money is always good." He chuckled softly. "I was thinking—"

He put down his sandwich and brushed his hands together while swallowing harshly.

"I want Fred to be remembered." He said. "And you're a pretty known author. Can you mention him in your biography? Either write about his death or make a— I don't know... some kind of tribute to him."

_Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry._

"Have you mentioned the idea to your family?" I asked. "I would love to see give him a tribute. He deserves that, but if there is any chance that it's only going to cause pain with your family, I can't do it."

"I don't think it'll hurt them." He shook his head slowly. "I know mum and dad would really love the idea. I can ask the rest though, then come to you about it."

I leaned back with my hands against the blanket and unfolded my legs. I looked up at the sky. It was light blue with only a few skies on it.

"Do you want to talk about what happened with Charlie?" George asked. "We only know very little of what you and he have told us."

I looked at him again.

"I don't know what I did wrong." I admitted. "We were doing fine. I was—"

I pressed my lips together and let out a small laugh while I ran a hand over my face.

"I got off work, closed up the shop and I went up to see how he was doing." I continued. "Most days he'd just lie in bed or get out to make himself some coffee. Though that day he was packing all of his things."

It hurt to talk about but maybe it would distract George from losing Fred. Maybe sharing my problems with him would make him feel better.

"The thing that really stuck to my head is the words he said." I sighed. _"I need to get away from you._ Then he grabbed his stuff and apparated to Romania."

"So you know where he is?" George questioned. "Why don't you go see him? Talk to him?"

I shook my head and sat up straight. Instead I wrapped my arms around myself, trying to give myself some kind of comfort.

"I don't think I'll do that." I informed him. "Cause why should I go chasing after him when _he_ made the decision to leave? No— if Charlie decides that I deserve an explanation, he's more than welcome to come home."

_Home._

_I_ don't even call it home anymore. I moved in with my older sister for fuck sake.

"My brother is being an a-hole." George told me. "And I'm not trying to excuse his actions but I know he loves you and leaving must've been hard for him."

"Was sure hard for _me."_ I sighed. "One thing I don't understand though, is that all those years we've known each other. Fifteen years and eight months and we've always been great at communicating about our relationship. I hate that he shut himself in after what happened."

"I guess that's a Weasley thing." He said softly. "None of us have really talked that much about it. Especially me. I hate talking about Fred, y'know, though I love it at the same time because I miss him."

I nodded slowly, looking at him to show that I was listening.

"It was always Fred and I. We spent every day together throughout our entire life and now he's just not there in the flat when I wake up in the morning." He said. "You know, sometimes I imagine he's just sick, that he'll be there when I close the shop."

_I know what you mean._

Fred usually loved to prank Charlie and I. We'd receive a new package every week with some kind of prank inside of it and I remember all the times where we'd try and figure out what Fred had come up with. Once, Charlie poked the box with his wand and then the box exploded.

That doesn't happen anymore.

Fred would never admit it but he did it because he knew it made our day just a little bit better. If we had _had_ a bad week, a _stressful_ week, it would get us to laugh.

"I don't know how I've gone through the last year without him." George continued. "And I certainly don't know how I'll get through the next."


	9. Chapter 9

The air blew through my hair, drying my cheeks from the tears as I ran through the forest. It was the middle of the night but Avalon, Mahlon and Amber were all asleep. I was too, though I woke up. Another nightmare.

This though, this was about the battle of Hogwarts. I saw Fred die but when I approached the lifeless body, it turned from being Fred to being Charlie and then I woke up as my scream in the dream echoed through Hogwarts.

My chest was physically hurting and I knew it wasn't from running. It was the same hurt as every time I thought about Charlie.

I was surrounded by people who loved me but Charlie's decision to leave me had me feeling completely alone in this big world.

When he first left me, I had a conversation with my mum about it and I still remember clearly what she told me.

_"Goodbyes hurt when the story is not finished and the book has been closed"_

She explained it in my languages. My language is books. When i learned how to read, I never stopped. In the loft, Charlie and I have an entire wall which is basically just one big bookshelf that's full of books that I've all read.

Charlie loves reading too. I can't count how many times we stayed up late to read together. I haven't picked up one single book since he said his goodbye and left me behind.

I stopped running and turned around multiple times, taking a look at where I was. I knew the area. I had gotten to know the entire forest since I moved in with Avalon and Mahlon.

Then I screamed. I let out a scream so loud and so revealing. It revealed all the emotions I felt. All the heartbreak, all the sorrow, the trauma.

Charlie helped me get rid of my nightmares. After the war, after I saw Fred die, I had nightmares about it every night but it got better with Charlie. It got better because he made sure to cuddle me until I was asleep. That really helped me.

Then he left and everything came pouring down. Now I'm this pathetic almost twenty-six year old woman who can't do shit because her boyfriend left her.

I grabbed the wand in my pocket and disapparated from the forest. I landed in Diagon Alley and my eyes landed on the shop in front of me.

_'Crispus' Quidditch'_

My brother owns a quidditch equipment shop just down the street from my own shop. I come here when I need to get away from everything and right now I needed to get away from the forest.

I grabbed the key that hung around my neck and unlocked the door. I made sure to not make too much noise. Crispus and Carrie lived in the flat above the shop and I didn't want to wake them up.

It was three in the morning and they were both very stressed these days with trying to get pregnant.

I gently closed the door behind me and put the necklace back around my neck, letting the key slide under the material of my shirt to keep it from dangling.

The shop was dark at this time but I didn't turn on the lights. I carefully made my way through the room to the back room where the sofa was at.

I laid down on it, wrapping my arms around me to keep me warm. It wasn't exactly hot in here. It was actually quite chilly.

I was so tired and I knew I had to try and get some sleep but it was gonna be hard. I was terrified of having another nightmare. Terrified of seeing that again in my dream. Seeing Fred die and then see the body turn into Charlie.

It was Saturday tomorrow so I didn't have work. We were closed on weekends but Crispus' shop was open so I'd probably get woken up by the sound of costumers out front.

I had left a note for Avalon at home. The last thing I wanted was for her to get worried because I won't be in my bed when she wakes up.

I flinched and opened my eyes when I felt a hand on my upper arm, though my body relaxed against the sofa again when it was only Crispus. He had a soft smile on his face as he stood there in the dark, hunched over with a blanket in his hand.

"You don't want to sleep on the sofa upstairs?" He asked. "It's much warmer in the flat."

"I'm fine here." I muttered. I closed my eyes and heard Crispus hum in response before unfolding the blanket to wrap it around me.

"Alright. I'll come down and wake you up for breakfast in the morning." He told me. "Does Ava know you're here?"

I nodded as he ran his hand over my hair, then kissed the top of my head.

"Okay." He whispered. "You'll be okay, sis. Goodnight."

"Night Cris." I yawned as he made his way out of the room again. He closed the door behind him and weirdly enough, I drifted off to sleep pretty quickly.

When I woke up again, it was to Crispus gently shaking me while calling my name. I looked at him through squinted eyes, then sighed and closed them again while I rolled from my side to my back.

"Good morning sunshine." My brother grinned, taking the blanket to fold it. "How'd you sleep?"

He threw the blanket over the armrest of the sofa before he sat down next to me.

"I don't know." I sighed, running a hand up my face and into my hair.

"What happened last night?" He asked. "I heard the door to the shop and when I looked at the surveillance tape, I saw you sneak through the shop to the back room."

I looked at my brother before I leaned my head on his shoulder. He moved his arm around my shoulders while his other hand patted my cheek gently.

"I had a nightmare." I told him. "And I just needed to get out of the forest. Just for the night."

"Well, you're always welcome here."

_I know. Why the hell do you think I decided to come here?_

"Carrie's made breakfast upstairs." Crispus told me. "I managed to convince her to make your favourite."

I looked up at him as he slowly stood up, smiling at me in a comforting way.

"Bacon pancakes?"

"Yep." He nodded. "And she's made loads of them. Go on. Let's hurry up. I have to open the shop in a little over an hour."


	10. Chapter 10

The pancakes were great. They always are when Carrie makes them. It hasn't been the first time I used my key to let myself in and sleep on the sofa in the back room and it certainly hasn't been the first time my brother and my sister-in-law prepared breakfast for me because I had slept over.

I knew my brother didn't have a problem with it and I didn't believe Carrie had one either. I hope she doesn't.

After breakfast and my sister-in-law went to work at the ministry while Crispus went to open the shop, I apparated back home to Avalon and Mahlon's house.

Mahlon was hurrying around the kitchen, making himself a quick breakfast while Avalon and Amber sat and ate breakfast at the table.

"Hi guys." I breathed, forcing a small smile. Avalon looked at me immediately before she got out of her chair and rushed over to hug me while Mahlon went back to making himself breakfast.

"Auntie Emmy!" Amber cheered. I laughed softly and when Avalon let go of me, I walked over to hug my niece.

"Hi sweetheart." I smiled. I ran my hand over her hair before I looked at Avalon. "I'm sorry I just left like that."

My sister shook her head, smiling at me. "I'm happy you left a note. I'm also happy you're okay. Slept on Crispus and Carrie's sofa?"

"In the back room of the shop, yeah." I nodded, folding my arms over my chest. "Ava, I uh— I'm thinking that maybe it's time that I went back to the loft."

I watched as my sister raised her eyebrows in surprise and Mahlon slowly turned around to look at me as well.

"You're ready for that?" Avalon asked, a small smile spreading on her lips. I let out a heavy breath but nodded.

"I think I am." I told her. "I need to learn to live on my own eventually so why not start now? I'll go back there, I'll clean up the loft and pack away the rest of the stuff he didn't bring with him to Romania."

That's how I ended up back in my flat, all alone among the dusty surfaces and the things that hadn't been touched in almost half a year.

I didn't really have the energy to clean so I flicked my wand to get the duster to do the work for me so I could put sheets on the bed in the meantime. I put my wand into my pockets as I walked across the floor to the bedroom.

The door was closed so I opened it and took a step inside it. I closed the door behind me and turned on the light, only to see someone on the bed that made my heart skip a beat.

_No._

The anger started boiling inside of me as I looked at the familiar guy sleeping in our bed. The bedroom had been completely cleaned unlike the rest of the loft, and the bed was covered in his favourite black sheets.

_"Finestra."_

I had my wand pointed at the glass of water on the nightstand. I didn't even think. I just cast the spell and the glass shattered, causing Charlie to jolt awake. He sat up quickly, looking at the glass in confusion before he looked around the room, his eyes landing on me.

He sighed and ran a hand over his face while I turned around and walked out of the room and into the living area where the duster was actively cleaning.

"Ember."

I turned around, my arms folded over my chest as I watched him leave the bedroom in only a pair of trousers. He looked like shit. His hair had grown longer and it was obvious he hadn't taken care of it for a while. He hadn't shaved in days, meaning that the beard was showing. His eyes were blood-shot and I couldn't help but feel sympathetic. We had just passed the anniversary of his brothers death so he was obviously having an extra hard time right now, though I was really angry with him.

"What're you doing here?" He asked, running his fingers through his long messy hair. "I talked to Bill. He said you were staying with Avalon and Mahlon."

"I was." I nodded. My eyes were currently glossy as the tears dared to spill. I wouldn't let them. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction. "I decided to come home. Move back in here."

Charlie simply nodded. He hadn't even looked me in the eyes yet. He kept avoiding my gaze and it broke me even more than knowing he didn't want me anymore.

"I'll get going then." He breathed. "I'll pack my stuff. It might take a moment."

I didn't answer, I didn't argue as he turned back around and disappeared into our bedroom. He wasn't back for good? When I saw him in the bed, I had a little hope that maybe he had realised he missed me and wanted me, but now that hope had been killed when he was now once again packing his stuff to leave me.

_Why does he want to hurt me._

This is the second time I've had to witness him pack his things. The second time I've had to watch him leave me. This time he decided to use the front door. Shortly after he walked out of the room again. He had a shirt on. His dark grey long sleeved v-neck that fitted him so perfectly. He also had a bag over his shoulder. He stopped by the table in the kitchen area.

I watched as he pulled his keys out of his pocket to pull off the keys that fitted into the door to the loft, the door to the shop and the doors to the different rooms downstairs, also the basement where we had storage for the bookshop.

"You can't be serious." I sobbed through the tears that started pouring out. My bottom lip was quivering and probably also a tad swollen. My lips had a habit of swelling when I cried. Charlie stopped in his tracks when he reached he rack with the jackets on. He turned a little bit not fully towards me. He kept his gaze on the floor and didn't say anything. Then he put on his shoes but when he grabbed his jacket and took a step further towards the door, I pulled out my wand. _"Colloshoo"_

Charlie's entire body halted suddenly before he tripped. His hands came out against the wall so he didn't hit the floor, then he looked at me and for the first time in months, his eyes met mine.

"Ember—" he sighed. "You're making it way harder than it has to be."

"Am _I?"_ I cried. "You show up here after months and you can't even look at me. The first thing you do is pack your stuff so you can leave me for the second time and then _I'm_ the one making it harder?"

Instead of answering me, he undid his shoes and pulled his feet out of them. He pulled his wand out of his pocket, flicked it at the shoes which made them disappear, seeing as the charm I had casted didn't have a counter spell.

"Charlie." I called out when he went to grab himself a new pair of shoes from the cupboard where some of his stuff was stored. "Please don't leave again. I'll change. I-I'll be a better girlfriend."

I sounded pathetic and clingy but the truth is that I was simply really desperate. I couldn't handle this. I couldn't handle seeing him and then having him leave again. It was breaking me.

 _He_ was breaking me.

"You were the perfect girlfriend." He breathed. He never looked at me again, he simply pulled open the door and left with his stuff, leaving me crying and sobbing in the living room with no understanding whatsoever of why he was doing this.

_You were the perfect girlfriend._

Then why did you leave, and why did you blame me?

_I was the perfect girlfriend._


	11. Chapter 11

I don't know how long I lied on the sofa, crying my eyes out. I just know that I ended up falling asleep and for the rest of the day I kept falling asleep, waking up, then cried myself to sleep again.

When I woke up the last time, without being able to fall asleep again, it was completely dark outside. Stars were filling the sky and the moon was full and shining right through my window, hitting my body.

I sat up properly and moved my legs out to place my feet on the floor. My elbows dug into my thighs as I rubbed my eyes with palms.

I exhaled deeply. I still felt tired. Maybe because I had cried so much, or maybe because I had slept all day with tons of tiny breaks that I used to cry some more.

"Do you want some tea?"

I jumped at the voice and narrowed my eyes when I saw the tall figure stand in the dark in the kitchen.

"Why're you standing in the dark?" I asked. "Or better yet— why are you in my home?"

Bill flicked his wand, causing the light to turn on and I immediately squinted my eyes from the sharpness of it.

"Avalon and I write on a daily basis." He told me. "Mostly because I want to know how you're doing and if I ask you directly, you're just gonna lie about it."

I didn't respond. I turned my head away again and looked out of the window. It was opened, probably to get some fresh air in here.

"I came to check on you when Avalon wrote back that you decided to go home." Bill continued his explanation. "You've been waking up a lot."

My head snapped in his direction immediately and after looking at him for a moment, I slowly pulled myself up to stand.

"You witnessed all of that?"

"I did." He nodded slowly. "I put that blanket over you but you didn't register me and then you kicked it off in your sleep."

I snorted at the thought that immediately crossed my mind. "My subconscious must've thought it was Charlie."

I was feeling quite embarrassed that Bill had to experience me waking up all the time to cry myself back to sleep. I must've looked and sounded so pathetic.

"It's that hard being back up here?"

"Not really." I shook my head and approached the kitchen. "But Charlie was here when I got home."

Bill took a sip of the tea he had made himself, before he put down the cup and motioned for me to sit down by the table. After I sat down, Bill pulled out a chair to sit across from me.

"Are you okay?" He asked, causing me to sigh. That question just kept flying at my face and I always knew the answer but only once had I told the truth and that was to Mahlon.

"I don't know." I told him. "He was here, sleeping in our bed and he looked like a mess. I felt so bad for him but then again, I was so angry with him."

"Understandable."

"I woke him up by shattering a glass and tried to keep him from leaving by using the stickfast hex on him." I explained. "Pathetic, isn't it?"

Bill let out a small laugh as he took a sip of his tea, then he shook his head.

"If you're looking for someone to put you down like you do yourself, you've come to the wrong person." He said. "I don't think it's pathetic. I think you're a young girl who's trying to cope with her boyfriend leaving. The boyfriend she's madly in love with."

Over the years, Bill has kinda become my own personal therapist. It's quite funny actually, but I appreciate his help and the fact that he's here for me. I would do the same if he was in my place.

"He left me _again."_ I sighed. "I was begging for him to stay because I didn't think I would be able to handle going through that again. It feels like when I think I can't break any further, I just— _do."_

Bill sighed.

"About that tea? You look like you could need some." He told me and stood up.

"If you could make me some coffee, that would be great."

"Oh, you've switched to coffee?" He asked before he started making it. "The last time I saw you, you were as tea crazy as you've always been."

"Tea doesn't help me stay awake the way coffee does." I informed him. "Anyway, I don't want to talk more about me. It only makes me realise how pathetically my life has become. How're you and Fleur?"

Bill smiled at me. When he finished the coffee, he handed it to me and I thanked him while he sat back down.

"Fleur is uh— she's five weeks pregnant."

My eyes widened and I put the cup down that I had lifted to take a sip off.

"Oh my— really?" I asked. "That's great! Shit... when is she due?"

_I would've been due next month._

"Some time between January and February." He told me. "We have an appointment at St. Mungos in a few weeks time so hopefully we'll know then."

I smiled like crazy. I was so happy for them and I pushed away the small sting of jealousy just so I could be there as support.

"That's really great, Bill." I told him. "And a great way to start off the twenty-first century."

"Yeah, we're really excited about it." He told me. "We're already discussing names."

He took a sip of his tea at the same time as I took a sip of my coffee.

"The baby will have the Weasley surname so we want the first names to be French so he or she has some of Fleur's heritage." He explained. "We're thinking Victoire or Eloise if it's a girl and either Josue or Louis if it's a boy."

It seems as everyone are moving on with their lives right now. I know that Harry and Ginny are planning to get married when she finished school sometimes next month, meaning their wedding might be in either July, August or September. They want it done as quick as possible. Ron and Hermione are also planning on getting married, while George is in a serious relationship with Angelina Johnson.

Then there's my family. Crispus is married, trying to have a baby. Avalon is married _with_ a child. My younger brothers are almost finished with Hogwarts, and then there's me.

My boyfriend left me before he knew I was pregnant and I had to abort the child I had always wanted. I did it for the baby. It would be unfair to raise her while her parents weren't together, while her dad lived in Romania, unable to look at her mother who lived in England.

"I can't wait to see who your child resembles." I smiled. "But with you two as the baby's parents, he or her will be a beautiful little one."


	12. Chapter 12

_"You look ridiculous." He laughed, watching me as I jumped around the bed with a pout of my face because he said no to go on an adventure._

_"I wanna go to the forest!" I told him. "I wanna look at the flowers and pick some apples!"_

_"And I'd like to go." He smiled, placing his hands on his hips while I stopped jumping. "But I gotta get to Romania. I have a longer work day but I'll be off at the same time."_

_"Yeah and you're leaving two hours early." I said, rolling my eyes. I threw myself onto my butt and sighed as I looked up at him. "It's getting so boring, Charlie. We always do the same stuff. You wake up and get yourself ready, you leave for work and I stay downstairs, taking care of my business."_

_Charlie smiled as he leaned his arm against the doorframe, above his head, his other hand staying on his hip._

_"And you're doing a great job being a business woman." He told me. "The hottest one I've ever laid eyes in."_

_I pouted shyly and looked down at the bed while I pulled my legs up to fold them._

_"Am I really?"_

_"Yes." He confirmed before he threw the pair of trousers at me that he had been holding. "Now get dressed, you idiot. I've made some breakfast. I'll see you tonight, yeah?"_

_"Yeah." I breathed before I looked at him again with a faint smile. "I love you Charlie."_

_"I love you more Emmy."_

My thoughts were interrupted when the sound of a bird crashing into my balcony, filled the room, causing me to sit up. I got up from my bed and laughed softly when I saw what it was.

The Weasley's post owl, Errol. Always crashing into windows. Always has been a clumsy one.

"What in the world are you doing?" I chuckled softly when I opened the door. He got to his small feet and dropped the letter. "Wait here, Errol."

I went and got him some food and water so he didn't have to fly all the way back home to the Burrow without getting something to eat and drink first.

Then I picked up the envelope. It was addressed from Ginny and Harry, though Ginny was at Hogwarts and Harry was here in London as an Auror.

_Must be Molly._

I opened the envelope and pulled out a piece of parchment which I unfolded while I stared at it curiously.  
  


_Together with their families_

_Ginevra Weasley_   
_and_   
_Harry Potter_

_Invite you to their marriage celebration._

_Saturday, the twenty-first of August nineteen-ninety-nine at three o'clock in the afternoon at the Burrow._

_Dinner to follow._   
  


"Oh shit." I muttered to myself as I ran a few fingers over my lips. "They're really getting married."

I glanced at Errol who was eating, not hearing a word I was saying. Then again, he's an owl.

"Why am I talking to you?" I asked. "I really _have_ gone crazy."

I sighed and looked down at the invitation again. Charlie was definitely gonna be there, but he wasn't gonna be the reason for me not showing up.

I had known Ginny since she was three. She doesn't remember anything from before I entered her and her family's life. Three years old. She doesn't even remember much from that year. I've always been in her life so of course I'd be there, even if I had to ignore the heartbroken feeling when seeing Charlie again.

Before getting the chance to change my mind, I quickly wrote a letter that stated I'd be there, and then I sent Errol off with it, making sure he got out safe without crashing into any windows or doors.

I know I mean a lot to Ginny. I'm not gonna try and be shy about that, she means a lot to me too. She's family, not blood related but she's family. I watched her grow into the young woman she's become so there's absolutely no way I'll miss out on her getting married.

And Harry— well, I've known him too for a long time. The first time I met him though, was when he was fourteen and we all went to the Burrow. It was obvious that he and Ginny had some kind of liking towards each other.

I sighed and stayed there, staring out of the window where Errol had just flown away. I stayed there for a couple of minutes, rethinking everything back to the day I for the first time was introduced to the Weasley family.

It was one of the best days in my life.

I decided I wanted some coffee. I didn't want to fall asleep because the nightmares had been stronger and more frequent since Charlie left me again.

Instead, my body froze when I noticed the picture frames on the dresser. Why hadn't I noticed them in the past couple of days when I moved back in? They had always been there. I knew _that,_ but after moving in again, I just hadn't noticed them.

The picture in the middle was a family photo. Charlie and I in the middle with his family on his side and mine on my side. That was a happy day. Charlie and I were seventeen and it was back when he had his long hair. Ravenclaw had just won against Gryffindor but he didn't care. Gryffindor almost always won against Ravenclaw so this one time where my team won, he was happy for me and congratulated me. We weren't dating yet, we were simply best friends though we really liked each other.

I _loved_ him, even back then.

The second photo was me with a flower. Charlie and I used to go on adventures in the nature and he's always bring a camera. He ordered me to pose with the flower so I stood in a really weird position with my feet pressed together and the flower held up in front of my face with both of my hands while I smiled sweetly.

Charlie said it was a cute picture but I just thought I looked awkward. I still do.

The last photo, I don't even know why we had pulled out. I told him it was weird but he said it was a reminder to him everyday that he still had me.

After the explosion happened, the explosion that killed Fred, I hit my head like I've already mentioned. I woke up again and I felt alright apart from a really strong headache. When the battle was over and we'd won the war, I got checked out at St. Mungos _after_ I got checked out by Madam Pomfrey in the Great Hall. Charlie was with me the whole time.

I had a seizure when I laid there in the hospital bed. One of the healers had told me I was alright and that I just needed some time for the headache to disappear, but then I had a seizure and afterwards, they couldn't wake me up, not even with the Wiggenweld potion. They thought I was brain dead, but I could hear everything that was happening around me.

I could Charlie yell at the healers to bring me back, while he was crying his eyes out. I could hear my family visit and my mother and Crispus staying by my bed most of the day and most of the night.

I could hear Charlie try and explain to my family what had happened, and I could hear him and my mum cry together as she hugged him.

Then I woke up. No one knew how and they still don't, but after weeks in a coma, I woke up, remembering exactly what had happened apart from the seizure. _That_ I found out when I was told about it.

Charlie felt guilty about it. We had been together before the explosion but he told me to wait with his brother because he had to go see if his mum needed any help. I told him I was gonna be alright and after he left, the explosion happened.

For so long after that, Charlie went on about how it was his fault that Fred died and how I almost died too. He told me I deserved better than him.

Maybe he doesn't blame me for Fred's death.

_I certainly do._


	13. Chapter 13

_Dear Charlie,_

_A few weeks has passed since I found you unannounced in our loft. No, my loft. It's mine. You have your home in Romania so I really don't see why you felt the need to come home._

_Were you trying to get to me? To see me break? To see me beg because I'm so pathetic and can't live without you?_

_I miss you, okay? I wish I didn't, I wish I could tell you that I didn't and I truly wish I didn't miss you but how can I not? I had no idea how you felt. I didn't know you felt I was making it worse. I just wanted to help, and I was trying my best. I miss seeing your face every day. I miss just being with you and it's killing me that I'm not._

_Every single morning, even after five months, I wake up and I'm sad and almost disgusted to not have you next to me. That's what you did to me, Charles. You made me love you and then you just left. I thought we were a couple of years away from getting married, because on the good days of your grief, we would discuss it and you sounded so excited._

_I guess you weren't._

_How long were you planning it? How long had you known you were gonna leave me or break my heart? Was it your way to get back at me for making the grief worse for you? I'm sorry._

_I'm sorry that you're such a big piece of shit who doesn't think twice about who he's hurting by leaving. I'm sorry that you didn't look at anyone but yourself. I was fucking pregnant, Charlie and if you had noticed me, you would've known. I was throwing up almost every morning, I was craving pumpkin juice even though I've always hated pumpkin juice. I was always telling you how bad my back or my boobs were aching._

_What did you tell me? To use episkey to remove the pain._

_You paid attention to nothing but your own needs and I get that you were grieving but so was I. Just because I was able to get out of bed in the morning, didn't mean I was actually okay. We could've grieved together, we could've been there for each other but instead I was there for you while you laid there all day._

_Fuck you._

_Ember Coil._

_-_

"Happy nineteenth birthday to Ames!" My dad said and lifted his glass into the air, the rest of us following.

Amethyst is taking her last year at Hogwarts, seeing as hers was ruined by the battle, so she can't be here just like Brazier and Romany can't but we're still celebrating her. We've always done that.

If the birthday child is at Hogwarts, the ones who's at home will celebrate with a cake and everything.

My little sister was nineteen today, on May 21st of 1999.

At the end of August, I'd turn twenty-six. It would be the first birthday without Charlie I turned twelve. It was scary to be approaching the birthdays.

Charlie himself left me right before his twenty-sixth birthday. Two days before, actually. I still have this present wrapped up somewhere in the loft.

I just never had the opportunity to give it to him. I took a sip of the wine in my glass, then sat back down in my chair along with everyone else. I crossed one knee over the other, and while everyone else had put their glass down, I quickly downed the wine in mine before pouring more into it.

"Maybe you should hold back on the liquor." Crispus whispered to me. "I know you're struggling right now but don't get drunk when we're celebrating our sister."

"Amethyst is not even here." I told him, loud enough our sisters to hear but my parents were deep in conversation about the door of the basement being broken and needing a flick of a wand. "So can you _please_ just let me drink what I want to drink?"

The way my speech was already slurred and my mind racing, had me thinking I was already a little tipsy. I didn't exactly know how much I had _had_ to drink, but definitely more than four glasses of wine.

"Give me the glass, Ember." Crispus said, holding out his hand. I looked into his eyes as I downed the liquor in the glass, then handed it to him.

"There you go you _boring_ sack of potatoes."

Suddenly the mood changed and Crispus along with my three sisters broke into a loud laughter because of my comment. Avalon's husband just sat there, watching it while shaking his head softly, a small smile playing on his lips while Crispus' wife was picking up her own glass of wine to take a sip.

"What're you four laughing about?" mum asked as her and dad stopped talking. "What's so funny?"

"Nothing's funny." I answered. "Your kids are being mean and I'm leaving to use the loo."

I don't know why I felt like announcing my need to use the toilet, but I pushed my chair back as I stood up, then pulled it back under the table before leaving the room, my siblings still laughing their asses off. I walked into the bathroom and locked the door behind me.

I placed my hands on the edge of the sink and as soon as I looked at myself in the mirror, a sob came from my mouth, though I quickly took a deep breath to gain control of my feelings. My red hair was a slight mess from running my hands through it all night. My hair was one of the things that reminded me of Charlie, another thing being my freckles. We were so similar both on looks and personality, though I would never have left _him._

I can't look at myself or even my family without thinking about him. He's everywhere. I can't get rid of him. I see red hair and I see _his_ red hair. I see freckles and I see _his_ freckles. Back when he had long hair and wore it in a low ponytail, I'd pull it sometimes just to annoy him. That's why I never wore a ponytail myself because I was scared he'd get revenge. Then he cut his hair short but then I started playing with it much more than I usual did.

I missed that.

Missed _him._

I hated that I did but how was I not going to miss him? We've been dating since I was seventeen and he was eighteen and now we're both closer to thirty than we are twenty.

I wish he would come home for good. I wished he would come home and cuddle me and tell me he was sorry. Hopefully have a good reason too. Tell me he'd never leave me again and just kiss me over and over again until I'd fall asleep in his arms.

I studied my face in the mirror. I had managed to gain control of my emotions. I hadn't let myself cry. It was one sob so I didn't look like I had been crying.

Good.

I walked back out to my family who were eating cake while talking about memories we've had within the family. Mahlon and Carrie were a part of it too. They've been in our families for a very long time.

Avalon and Mahlon were in the same year in Hogwarts and have been dating since they were fourteen years old. That's fourteen years.

Crispus met Carrie in their last year. My brother is a year older but he's born on September 1st so he had to wait an entire year to start at Hogwarts, meaning he ended up in Carrie's year. He was a Gryffindor and she's a Hufflepuff so their paths never really crossed until one day in their seventh year when they got detention together.

"We didn't mean anything bad with it, you know that, right?" Crispus whispered as he leaned closer to me. "But it was quite funny – calling me a boring sack of potatoes."

I shrugged and grabbed his glass of wine, downing it all. I put the glass back on the table, then looked at my older brother who watched me with a raised eyebrow.

"Are you doing alright?" he asked me. "You almost seem as sad as in December right after Charlie left you."

"He came back." I informed him. "A couple of weeks ago. Was in the loft when I decided to move back in but uh– he left again without an explanation."


	14. Chapter 14

When I got back home from celebrating my little sister who wasn't there herself, I was quite drunk and stumbled through the door. Too drunk to apparate so my brother had brought me home and made sure I got up the stairs, then he left when I ordered him to. I slammed the door behind me, laughing to myself over how ridiculous I had been acting in front of my family all night.

I managed to kick off my shoes while supporting my own weight on the wall, then I took off my denim jacket and tried to hang it on the rag on the wall, but instead I missed it and watched as it fell to the ground.

I waved it off, shaking my head as I moved my way further into the loft. The lights were on for some reason. I definitely hadn't turned them on and I believe I remembered to turn them off before I left. I squinted my eyes as I looked around, my eyes eventually landing on the clock on the wall.

It was past midnight.

Fuck I felt tired. I heard a door being opened, causing me to spin around, nearly losing my balance when I saw the familiar face stand in the doorway. Some sound I didn't recognise, left my mouth and I stumbled back until I hit the wall. I then slid down until I sat on the floor. I tried to keep my head up but it was difficult. I was so tired and definitely drunk. I couldn't even register him properly. He was right there, but then again... maybe I was hallucinating because of the alcohol.

Then I heard the faint footsteps. Every sound was faint to my right now. A moment later, and I saw the feet, covered by some black socks, step in front of me where I had my legs spread. A hand gently grabbed around my jaw to lift my head. When my eyes met his blue ones, I realised that he was actually here. I shoved his hand away from my face as quickly as possibly before trying to push myself more into the wall, though that obviously didn't work.

"Why do you keep doing this?" I asked, my voice breaking as I started crying. I always did that when thinking about him or seeing him. I cried. He simply sighed before he went to wrap an arm around my waist to pull me up.

"Let's get you to bed."

"No!" I yelled, pushing himself before scooting away from him, eventually getting to my feet, turning to face him. "Don't touch me. I don't want you to touch me."

I pulled the wand from the pocket of my trousers and pointed it at him. I didn't know what I was doing. I was angry, I was hurt and I was drunk.

"Ember, put that down." he told me, holding out a careful hand as he took a step towards me. "You're drunk. You're not thinking clearly."

"I'm thinking clear enough." I spat. "Why are you here? You left your key behind and I fixed the place so that apparition doesn't work from inside. I'm going to fucking hex you–"

"Ember." another familiar voice filled the room as Bill emerged from the bathroom. I turned to him, slowly lowering my wand as I frowned.

"What the fuck–"

"I let him in." Bill explained to me. He had a key to the loft. "I went and got him in Romania."

"Why would you–" I slid my wand into my pocket, wiping my cheeks. "... he shouldn't be here. He made the decision to leave and every time he shows up again, it's just breaking so many more things inside of me. Why should I have to suffer because of his decision? You shouldn't have brought him here."

I didn't dare to look at Charlie again. I could feel his eyes burning through me and it pissed me off. He shouldn't be looking at me. He shouldn't even be here in the first place. I was still recovering from when he showed up unannounced the last time. I didn't need this.

"First of all, let's get you some coffee and sober you up." Bill told me. "Charlie's here to give you the explanation that you deserve."

I know I said I wanted Charlie to come home but I knew this wasn't for good, and it hurt too much to be close to him.

"An explanation." I scoffed before I slowly turned to Charlie. "Where was that explanation five and a half months ago when you ran with your tail stuck between your legs? Where was that explanation two weeks ago when I found you sleeping in our bed?"

"I—"

"Why were you here?"

Charlie folded his arms over his chest, his eyes landing on the floor.

"We had just passed May second and I needed to be closer to home."

My heart skipped a beat.

"You were in the loft when I was up here with George?" I asked in a chilling voice.

"I was in the bathroom."

"You were—" I started laughing, placing my hands on my head as I shook my head at it. "...well isn't that fucking amazing. I was up here, not knowing that so were you."

Bill was making coffee in the kitchen, acting like Charlie and I weren't currently being forced into this confrontation.

"So when are you leaving again?" I asked. "Tomorrow? In five minutes? _When?"_

"I'm not."

"You're not?"

"No." He shook his head. "At least not permanently. If I'm leaving, it'll be for work, but I'll be back."

_Liar._

"After our conversation, I decided to go find Charlie." Bill announced when he finished the coffee. He walked back over to hand the cup to me and I thanked him softly before I sat down on the sofa. "I thought you deserved and definitely needed an explanation. It took me a while since he sold the flat in Romania and lived somewhere else."

I took a sip of my coffee before simply staring down at it. My mind was racing, so was my heart, and I was close to breaking into tears again.

"I'll be downstairs in the shop while you two talk." Bill said. "Try not to yell no matter how hard it is."

When the door closed behind him, Charlie slowly sat down in the other end of the sofa.

"I hate you." I stated, taking another sip of my coffee. Charlie let out a heavy breath and out of the corner of my eye, I noticed that he ran a hand through his hair.

"I don't blame you."

I closed my eyes for a moment while now taking a big sip of the coffee, then I let out a shaky breath.

"You better start explaining yourself."


	15. Chapter 15

Charlie had turned where he sat. He was now sitting back against the corner of the sofa, his eyes watching and studying my side-profile.

"Leaving was probably one of the hardest things I have ever done." He explained in the soft tone of his that always made me weak in my knees. His voice was all raspy when it was soft and I loved that. I always had. "I was leaving behind the one person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with."

_Wanted._   
_Past tense._

"At the time, I believed it was the right thing to do. I fucking despised myself because I don't believe I'm good enough for you. I _know_ I'm not good enough. I never was." He started explaining. "I know I said some bullshit to you that day and I haven't stopped thinking about them since."

"Oh really?" I laughed. "Imagine being the one who was being told the things — and hearing them from the person you love. _That's_ something that'll take a tool on your self-image."

Charlie sat up straight and moved closer to me, but he froze when he noticed I automatically moved away.

"You told me you needed to get away from me." I said and looked at him. " _Why_ did you need to get _away_ from me?"

"Because you deserve a life without me, Ember."

"That's not up to you!" I raised my voice. "You should've let me make that decision! I'm twenty-five fucking years old. Don't you think I should be able to decide who I think deserve to be in my life?"

I removed my eyes from his bright blue ones, to drink the rest of my coffee. I put the cup on the table before I leaned back against the sofa.

"You're right." Charlie said. "It should've been your decision but I was too big of a coward and ran."

He sighed and stood up, slowly making his way over to the bookshelf. He used his index finger with a plain silver ring on, to pull out a book. It was one of his that he didn't bring with him.

"I'm sorry, Ember."

_No. He's not going to apologise and expect me to just forgive him._

"Yeah, _right_." I scoffed and stood up, walking back to the kitchen to pour myself some more coffee. "You can't just show up here after almost six months."

I glanced at him as he made his way towards the kitchen where I was standing, taking a sip of my new cup of coffee.

"You can't expect me to just feel okay about you again just because you tell me you thought I deserved better." I said. "We were supposed to be a team, but _nooo,_ you decided to make that decision on your own and you absolutely shattered me."

"What do you want me to say?!" He raised his voice. I stopped in my tracks for a moment, then turned around and saw him stand by the table.

"I want you to say that you've been suffering just as much as I." I told him, watching him breathe heavily at my words.

"Ember—"

My lips started quivering and I felt my eyes sting at the tears that pressed behind my eyes while I watched him turn away from me, still facing the table.

"You were supposed to love me through everything!" I shouted at him, causing him to stop in his tracks.

Charlie sighed and dropped the book violently on the table before spinning around to look at me.

"Well what do you expect me to say? I've said I'm sorry but that's not good enough, is it?

I scoffed at how offended he sounded. He had no right being offended.

"Why would it be? I don't know how I'll be able to trust you again." I explained, making wild hand gestures to prove my point and how angry I was with him.

"Figure it out." He breathed and let himself drop into the chair, his eyes staying on me. "Cause this time, I'm staying."

I slowly walked over to the table and sipped off of my cup before placing it down. Then I placed a hand on the back of his chair and pushed his foot down from the table after he had just kicked it up. His eyes met mine and I clenched my jaw as I leaned down over him.

" _You_ don't get to act like you're the one who's hurt." I told him. "You don't get to act mad. _I'm_ the one who's mad. I'm the one who's hurt because _you_ fucking _left_ me."

I had been pointing at him as I spoke, my finger hitting his chest with every point. My eyes flicked down to my finger, watching it rest against the material of his dark red t-shirt.

"I didn't deserve better than you." I told him, feeling like I was gonna cry again. "You were the absolute best. I've always looked up to you, I've always wanted to be with you. You were _everything_ I wanted and everything I needed. You could've talked to me and I would've told you exactly that, but instead you just decided what I needed. The truth is, Charlie — you have _no_ idea what I need."

I watched as he let out the breath he had been holding. His eyes scanned my face as he moved his hand up to rest against my jaw, the warmth of his skin burning into mine.

"I'm gonna make it up to you." He whispered. "I promise."

"Yeah? Why are you back if you truly believe that I deserve better than you?" I asked in the same whisper.

"Because Bill convinced me that I'm good enough for you." He told me. "That I'm what you want."

"Wrong—" I whispered, his lips brushing past mine. ".., you're what I _wanted._ After what you did — I can't trust you."

I pulled away quickly before he got to kiss me. I looked down at him and pushed his chair with my foot, causing him to almost tip off.

"You can sleep on the sofa until you've figured out somewhere else to live." I said. "But you're _not_ coming into the bedroom."

I grabbed the cup from the table and turned around, swaying my hips on purpose to show exactly what he decided to leave behind. I had been wearing a black dress today that reached my thighs. It was right and it showed my curves, especially my behind.

When I reached the door to the bedroom, I turned around, noticing how his eyes that had been stuck on my ass, quickly flicked up to my face.

"Oh, and Charlie?" I asked. "You look like shit."

That wasn't true. He looked like a fucking god. I turned back around and walked into the room, closing the door behind me. I sipped off the coffee and grabbed his trunk that stood on the bed. I walked back out of the room, placing it on the floor. I quickly downed the rest of the coffee and went to put it in the sink in the kitchen, ignoring Charlie as he still sat in the chair, eyes following my actions.

When I got back to the room, I once again closed the door behind me and closed my eyes as I no longer could hold back the tears.

I clamped a hand over my mouth to frown the sobs. There was no way I was giving Charlie the satisfaction. He wasn't gonna know that I was crying _again._


	16. Chapter 16

The next morning, I woke up feeling like shit. I had been crying myself to sleep and now that I was awake, the light shining through the window, I was realising that Charlie was in the loft and I hadn't been dreaming.

I sat up, running a hand through my hair while I looked towards the window. It was open. It hadn't been yesterday. He had been in here to let some air into the room. He had fucking been in here.

The smell of bacon mixed with pancakes hit my nose, and I looked towards the door. That son of a bitch was cooking my favourite breakfast.

I decided to get out of bed. I needed to make myself look good. He was gonna see exactly what he had been missing out on.

I wore a pair of light denim shorts and a white crop top with short sleeves and low cleavage. I brushed through my hair and let it hang naturally and wavy around my face. I did my makeup, some mascara and some lipgloss but that was it.

Before I left my room, I put on a pair of white socks, then sprayed some perfume on — the one he had always told me was his favourite smell on me apart from my natural smell.

"I told you to not go into the room." I told him, watching him as he stood in the kitchen, making bacon pancakes. He was shirtless, only wearing a pair of briefs.

"You like to wake up to fresh air from the window." He said and looked at me. "At least you used to."

"I don't like it anymore." I told him, eyeing him up and down. "Put on some clothes. No one wants to see that."

I turned on my heel and made my way towards the door, continuing out of it. I had to pick up some paperwork in my office so I could get them signed before the shop opened.

I didn't even know what to think about this whole situation. Waking up to Charlie in the loft was odd and it shattered my heart all over again just by seeing him. My heart had been shattered a lot of times now.

When I reached my office, I let out a heavy breath. I pulled the drawer open with my paperwork and grabbed the pile of papers, holding them against my chest as I locked up behind me, then I made my way back up into the loft.

I didn't say anything to Charlie. I closed the door behind me and put the papers on the table in the kitchen. He had put on a pair of sweatpants, but that was it.

It looked like he had gotten a new tattoo on his lower back. Something written in runes. Charlie turned around with a plate of pancakes, and my eyes flicked up to meet his before I looked away.

"What's that?" He asked, nodding towards the paperwork as he placed the plate on the table, then he started setting the table.

"I'm taking on the Quibbler."

That was true. I had accepted Mr Lovegood's offer after considering it for a while.

"It's paperwork." I explained as I walked over to a drawer in the bookshelf. I found my quill set, then sat myself at the table.

"That seem like a good idea."

I sighed and looked up at Charlie as he placed a plate next to where my pile of papers laid.

"I didn't ask for you opinion on it." I told him. "You asked what it was and I answered. That's it."

He kept looking at me, leaned over the table with his hands pressed flat against it. He wetted is lips before sighing as he closed his eyes.

"Are you even gonna give me an actual explanation?" I asked. "Because that _you-deserve-better_ bullshit, doesn't cut it. In a fucking week, we would've been together for eight years and your only excuse is your lack of self-confidence?"

He opened his eyes again to look at me and I raised an eyebrow to question him.

"Emmy—"

"Don't call me that." I said as I scrunched up my nose at the shot of pain that went through my heart. "You know— yesterday you talked in past tense. You _wanted_ to spend the rest of the life with me. Why're you back here if you can't see yourself with me for the rest of your life?"

"I didn't mean it like that. I don't know why I spoke in past tense. I _do_ want to spend the rest of my life with you, and I was fucking planning on proposing to you!"

My face dropped at his confession and I gulped harshly. Neither of us broke eye contact. He sighed. He looked like he regretted just outing himself like that.

"What?"

"I have a ring and everything." He told me, straightening up. "I bought it before the battle of Hogwarts. We all knew the battle was gonna happen. We were all waiting for it and I wanted us to get married before it happened in case something happened to either one of us. I had saved money for such a long time to get you a perfect ring. I wanted to be able to give you something that actually had value instead of some fake diamond — but then the battle happened sooner than expected and I told you to wait up there in the seventh-floor corridor. I left you there, I left my brothers there, thinking you'd be safe until I came back. When I _did_ came back, Percy wasn't there and you were sitting with Fred in your arms. Instantly I knew he was gone because I could see how broken you were. That's the moment I realised that you deserved someone who could protect you and that my siblings deserved someone who wouldn't let them die. Then _you_ almost died in the hospital. They had no idea what was happening to you or why you—"

He pressed his lips together and looked away, making a grimace to stop himself from crying.

"I was there when you had that seizure — I saw it happen and it was so scary to see. I had just lost my brother and now my girlfriend was seizing in front of my eyes and _I_ couldn't do anything to help. I couldn't help you and I _so_ just wanted to take away the suffering. I even told you that I wouldn't be mad at you if you went into the light, because I just didn't want you to suffer anymore. I didn't want you to be in pain. Telling you to let go and accept death, is the hardest thing I've ever done."

_I remember that._

I heard him when he said it, but I refused to let go. I was stuck in that state but I was fighting so hard to find my way back and force my eyes open. I think Charlie telling me to let go, was what made me wake up. I was scared he was giving up on me ever waking up. A few days later I was awake.

"And in those six months after you woke up from you coma—" Charlie continued as he looked at me again. "... I'm sorry that I was acting like that after the battle. It was a mix between grieving Freddie and being scared of you."

"Scared of me?"

"Not scared of you like _that."_ He told me. "Scared of hurting you. That's why I never wanted to touch you, why I didn't give you more than a peck. I saw how fragile you were in that hospital bed and I was already close to losing you once. I was scared I was gonna break you. I wasn't thinking clearly when I left. I just thought I was doing what was best for you. Maybe you would've been able to find someone who could save you in case anything ever happened again."

I didn't know what to say. I looked down at my paperwork as I held the quill in my hand, fiddling with it between my fingers.

"And I'm sorry for the things I said to you right before I left." He continued. "It wasn't the truth but I thought you'd get over me easier if you hated me."

I wiped the single tear from my cheek before I slowly looked back up at him.

"How was I supposed to get over you when I was pregnant with your fucking child?"


	17. Chapter 17

Charlie backed up towards the kitchen counter, his face shocked as his eyes were glued to my stomach.

_The whole point, Charlie, is that there_ _ isn't _ _a baby in my stomach anymore so stop looking at it you git._

He grabbed the edges of the kitchen counter and when I noticed his stomach muscles clench, I looked away.

It killed me that he had to be so attractive. It was bad enough having to look at his face, but him being shirtless — I can't sit here with a mouth that's watering when I'm supposed to be angry with him.

"I uh— shit. Ember, what— what happened?"

"Are you asking if I lost the baby?" I asked and looked at him, our eyes locking. "Because I didn't. I had an abortion. It was voluntarily."

I turned my attention back to my paperwork and continued signing each page while Charlie stood there, trying to process the bomb I just dropped on him.

"Not that I wanted to though." I sighed, refusing to look at him again, but I could feel his eyes burning into me. "But you left me and I didn't want to have this baby on my own, so I went to this like— this Muggle clinic and while I lied there on that bed, I was crying to the point where it must've looked like someone were forcing me to get rid of it. She used this thing that she explained was like a small vacuum and she vacuumed out what was supposed to be our daughter. All while I was crying like the mess that I am, because I had been so excited to start a family with you."

Charlie pushed himself away from the counter and slowly approached me where I sat. Though I didn't look at him and simply kept signing the papers. It was the contract to take on the Quibbler in my publishing company.

"I'm so sorry, love." Charlie said in a whisper when he was leaning his hands on the table, his face too close to me for my liking. "I'm sorry you went through that because of me. If I had known you were pregnant, I would've stayed."

My head immediately snapped up so I could look at him, while I scoffed at his comment.

"Funny how a pregnancy would be what it would take to make you stay."

He sighed as he ran his finger through my hair in a calming motion that I had always loved, _especially_ in the morning when we were cuddled up in bed.

"Plus, if it hasn't been for Bill, you wouldn't be here right now." I said. "You're only back because he told you to."

"No." Charlie shook his head. "I'm back because I had no idea that you were suffering. I—"

"Oh that's bullshit!" I told him. "How do you _think_ I would've been doing when my boyfriend through seven and a half years decided to leave me because he needed to get _away_ from me."

"I didn't know it was that bad." He continued. "I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought you deserved someone better in your life. I didn't know that you would still be hurting after five months."

"You saw me two weeks ago when you were here!" I raised my voice at him, and he let his fingers leave my hair, but he was still leaned forward and his face was still close to mine. "I was literally begging you to stay. I was a pathetic mess over you because I was so desperate for you to not leave me like that again!"

He didn't respond.

"You just don't get it, do you?" I asked, his eyes finding mine again. "I didn't want anyone else, Charlie. I've never wanted to be with anyone but you. It was always you and you need to get that through that thick scull of yours, because you've been back here for not even twenty-four hours and I am already tired of hearing you say I deserve better."

I put down my quill and stood up abruptly, causing him to straighten up too.

"This is so fucking stupid! I even went on to believe at one point that you hated me because you were blaming me for Fred's death." I told him as I grabbed the pile of now signed papers, moving them to the side table next to the door.

"What?" Charlie asked. "Why did you think that? Why would I blame you?"

"Because I do." I said simply and packed away my quill. " _I_ blame me."

Charlie went silent and when I turned towards him again, he was watching me carefully with a look of confusion on his face.

"Because I was there when the explosion happened, okay? I saw Rockwood seconds before he caused that explosion b-but my brain was working too slow to react even though I knew what was about to happen, and then it just happened. That's the last thing I remember before waking up and seeing Fred on the ground with Percy chasing after Rockwood." I explained, feeling myself tear up at the memory. "And if my brain had worked a little faster, I could've done something in those seconds. I could've killed Rockwood before he got to kill your brother."

I walked into my bedroom to make the bed before going down to the shop, but Charlie followed me, and when I looked at him, he was blocking the doorway, resting his arms above his head and against each side of the frame.

"Don't you dare blame yourself for that. I certainly don't because there is no reason to. What happened wasn't your fault."

I found my wand and simply flicked it at the bed so I didn't have to make it.

"You almost died too due to injuries from that explosion." Charlie continued. "Are you blaming yourself for that too?"

I looked at him with a sigh, and he nodded at me. "Exactly my point. You don't blame yourself for what happened to you so why blame yourself for Fred? I know you've got a big heart but you need to be realistic about it, Ember. It was war, everything was happening so fast and who knows— maybe if you had managed to save him there, something else could've happened later. We never know these things, the only one who's to blame is Augustus Rockwood, do you hear me? Rockwood and no one else."

"I could say the same thing to you." I scoffed. "Don't come here and give me a lecture when you _just_ told me _you're_ blaming yourself for what happened to _me."_

"Because I told you to stay there!" He raised his voice slightly. "I told you to not move, that you'd be safe up there and when I got back, you were bleeding and then at St. Mungos, you had a seizure and nearly died. I have a reason to feel guilty, and I have loads of stuff I do feel guilty about but Ember, the reason _you're_ feeling guilty is because during the war, you had this mindset that you were able to save everyone, but that isn't how the world works. You _can't_ save everyone."

I sat down on the bed and ran a hand over my face with a small sigh.

"Fred died." Charlie stated. "And I— I think I somehow needed those five months to myself. I regret doing it the way I did it. I should've talked to you and I shouldn't have broken up with you. I should've told you I needed some time to grieve alone."

_But I needed to grieve with you._

"I'm sorry, angel." He said. "I know you miss him too. I know you saw him like a younger brother and I know he's always looked up to you just like George and Ginny does. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you when you were for me. I don't know how I'll make it up to you but I promise I will. I'll make you trust me again."


	18. Chapter 18

I told Charlie to stay in the loft for the day. I had work and my sisters were working here too and they didn't know that Charlie was back so I couldn't have him walking down the stairs and having them see him.

My mind was everywhere. I couldn't focus properly so I found myself taking longer breaks and hiding away in my office.

I was so fucking angry with Charlie. I tried to convince myself that I hated him but even though I was so angry, I still wanted him and every time I looked at him, I wanted to jump him and kiss him like I had never kissed him before.

I know I said that I wished he would come back with an explanation that I could forgive, but this...

He should've talked to me and told me his insecurities. I could've assured him that he was the only one I wanted and that he _was_ good enough and then maybe he wouldn't have left.

"Ember!" Valencia called. "Bill's here!"

I sighed and pushed myself off of the wall before I pulled open the door and walked out. I made my way out to the shop where Bill was standing, talking to Val.

"We can talk in my office." I told Bill as I scratched my cheekbone. "I need to tell you something anyway."

Bill cocked an eyebrow at me but followed me into my office where I closed the door behind us.

"I just came by to ask how it went." He said. "When I got back up there last night, Charlie told me you had gone to bed."

I nodded slowly as I walked around my desk and pulled out one of the drawers where I had put the photograph of Charlie and I from the forest behind my parents house.

"I'm glad you made him come back." I said and looked up at Bill. "It gave me closure. I can move on from him now."

"Closure?"

"Yeah." I breathed and threw the photo on the desk before pulling out my wand and pointing it at it. " _Deletrius."_

I watched as the frame disappeared, and I then looked at Bill.

"Did you know that he blames himself for me almost dying?" I asked. "So his _brilliant_ plan was to then leave me, because that totally makes sense, right?"

I didn't care that I sounded crazy in front of Bill. I had known him for so many years and we were good friends. He was two years older than me so we went to school together for five years until he graduated.

"I'm gonna tell you something, Bill, but you can't tell anyone else, okay?" I asked and he nodded slowly at me. "When Charlie left, I was ten weeks pregnant."

I watched a Bill's expression completely changed. He hadn't expected that.

"I'm happy that the baby wasn't able to feel pain yet because if she could've felt pain, I would never have gotten that abortion." I told him. "I had the abortion the same week that Charlie left. I really wanted that baby but he left and suddenly I was _terrified_ of bringing up a baby without him, without a partner."

Bill sighed and ran his hand over his mouth as he thought about the things I just told him.

"Oh— and I went on about Fleur and I, our unborn baby. I'm sorry. If I had known you—"

"No." I shook my head. "Don't worry about it. I'm really happy for you and Fleur. What happened with me back in December shouldn't mean you can't be happy about your own parenthood."

I walked around my desk again, and leaned on it, folding my arms over my chest.

"You didn't tell my sisters that he's here, did you?"

"I wouldn't do that. If you want them to know, you'll tell them yourself. I'm not about to do that for you." He said. "I want to talk to Charlie. He's up there, right?"

I nodded.

"The door should be unlocked."

We walked back out of the office and while I made my way to the front of the shop, Bill made his way towards the staircase that led upstairs to the loft.

"What did Bill want?" Valencia asked when I walked over to help her restock a shelf of book. "And... where's he at?"

"Oh, he had to borrow a book." I lied. It was the first explanation that popped into my head. "He'll probably be down again in a moment."

Bill did eventually come back downstairs. He gave me a hug and whispered that he had given Charlie a beating for me, before he winked at me in that friendly way of his as he left the boutique. I immediately looked towards the door that led to the backrooms and the staircase, and I felt my curiosity grow but I decided to stay down here.

The more time down here without Charlie, the better. When I finished helping Valencia with the books, I grabbed the now empty box and glanced out at the busy streets of Diagon Alley, as I made my way out back. Instead of going up, I went down the stairs to the storage room in the basement.

Calypso was counting orders, making sure we got everything in this morning. It was her favourite duty for some reason – standing down here and counting the orders. I walked past her, earning a glance as I put the box away.

"You look tired." she simply stated. I looked at her and shrugged before sighing heavily. I mean, she wasn't exactly wrong. Last night it took me a while to fall asleep. All I could think about was that Charlie was back and he was sitting right out there in either the living room or the kitchen.

"Aren't we all tired?"

"I certainly am." she nodded slowly. "Have been ever since the war."

I bit my lip and folded my arms over my chest while watching my sister's side-profile as her eyes went to over ten different places on the shelves.

"War leaves trauma." I said. "It takes a while to get over and it's only been a little over a year."

Calypso looked at me and squinted her eyes at me while biting down on her pen. "Have you written with Amethyst lately?"

"No. Why?"

"Well, I have." she informed me. "Apparently she and Wood has been writing together for a while now and they're planning on going on a date once Ames graduate next month."

My eyebrows knitted together into a frown.

"Oliver Wood?" I asked. "Isn't he like– five years older than her?"

"I guess." Calypso shrugged. "But that isn't a lot, and age is just a number."

"True." I nodded. "I'm just thinking about the age she's at right now. She just turned nineteen. He would be twenty-four or at least turning it."

_Alright, that doesn't seem like a lot._

"If she's happy–" I breathed with a shrug of my shoulders. "... then so am I."

When the work day once finished and I closed up after my sisters left, I felt like I could finally breathe and drop the act. All day I had to act like Charlie wasn't right upstairs, breaking my heart every time he entered my thoughts, but now that I was alone, the grimace dropped and a frown of pain and frustration hit my face as I walked around, tidying up the shop. It was quite dark in here, the only light being the one from outside.

I didn't want to turn on the lights. I liked walking around in the dark, unless it was pitch black, meaning I wouldn't be able to see anything. No– this was nice and it helped me think better. Maybe I was stalling. Normally, I didn't clean this much after a work day. I normally did a complete sweep of the shop on Fridays when I closed up, but today was Saturday. I normally didn't open the shop on Saturdays but I asked my sisters if they were free to come and work because I really needed my mind of shit. That was before Charlie came back. I had cleaned the shop completely yesterday but now I was doing it again to stall on getting back to the loft.

Though it didn't seem as it was in my favour. Charlie knew my working hours so when forty-five minutes passed and I hadn't come back up, I heard the footsteps on the stairs out back and shortly after he showed his face in the shop.

He looked as attractive as this morning, though he had some stained blood right under his right nostril. It wasn't bleeding actively and it had been quite a while since Bill had been here, but there was some stained blood that Charlie hadn't gotten rid of.

"Are you gonna come upstairs?" he asked in a soft voice, pushing his hands into the pockets of his sweatpants while he looked at me with his head tilted to the right side.

"What happened to your face?" I asked, deciding to ignore his question. I already knew what had happened but I wanted the satisfaction of hearing him say it.

"Bill isn't too happy with me." he explained. "He's got a great right hook."

I hummed and finished up in the shop, making sure that the front door was locked, before I turned towards Charlie.

"Good."

"Yeah, I definitely deserved that." he nodded. "If I were him, I wouldn't have stopped with one punch."

"Neither would I." I agreed. "But I'm not gonna punch you if that's what you're looking for. There's a difference between being punched by your brother than being punched by your girlf– ex-girlfriend."

I gulped, hoping he didn't notice I almost called myself his girlfriend. I wasn't his girlfriend anymore. I was his ex.

"And I'm not into domestic abuse." I added. Being the woman who hits her partner is as bad as a man who hits _his_ partner. Somehow though, the world goes crazy if a man hits his girlfriend but if a woman hits her boyfriend, they somehow think he did something to deserve it, and even though he might've deserved it, it's just as wrong. I'm not about to hit him, no matter how angry I am with him.

"Not exactly domestic abuse if we aren't together." He joked, cracking a smile, though it quickly dropped when he saw I didn't find it funny.

I looked at him, slowly wetting my lips before I approached him. I stopped when I stood right in front of him, looking up at his face.

"You have to look for a flat." I told him. "Or a house. I don't really care— could be a cave. I just want you gone as quick as possible."


	19. Chapter 19

I yawned with a hand over my mouth as I finished cleaning up my plate. I got up extra early to eat breakfast before Charlie woke. He was sleeping peacefully on the sofa and it was difficult for me to not walk over and run my hand through his hair like I used to do when I woke up before him.

I loved him so much that it hurt.

He still looked fucking adorable when asleep. He always looked adorable. Adorable mixed with hot mixed with beautiful.

One week.

He had been back for an entire week now and he was fucking exhausting to be around. Not because he was being annoying. He was being anything but annoying. I could tell he was trying his absolute best to gain my trust back, yet he was also treating me like he did before he left. He treated me like I was the only one for him. It was exhausting because I wanted to run into his arms and have him hug me, cuddle me, tell me he love me but that thought was scary as hell.

_What if he leaves again?_

Something I had noticed whenever I was awake and he wasn't, was that he sometimes muttered my name as if he was dreaming about me. It didn't sound sexual, it sounded more painful and that killed me because I was scared that I was hurting him in the same way that he hurt me.

Some people would want their revenge and hurt the ones who hurt them, but I didn't want him to get even the slightest close to what I have been feeling for the last five months— or, almost six.

We had passed the eight year anniversary of when we officially became a couple and in about a week, I would've been due with our baby girl.

I missed being all loving with him. I missed especially the little things. The nicknames.

I used to call him whisky. Mostly because he's a fun drunk and he absolutely loves whisky. When he wasn't paying attention to me, the only way to get it, was to call him daddy because that made him choke on his breath and his eyes go wide.

We worked perfectly together which is why we never really had stuff to fight over.

I love being cuddled but hate being the one to cuddle. He hates being cuddled and loves being the one to give them.

I always use up all the hot water in the morning but that was never a problem because he showered in the afternoon after work and the hot water would've been back by then.

I've always done most of the cleaning. I love cleaning so I never minded that he didn't do it. Though whenever I was sick, he'd clean the loft up as if the slightest dust could hurt me.

Something I really loved and still do when I think back, is that he'd always make himself some tea or some coffee but then he'd get distracted and forget about it so I'd later find a full cup of something that hadn't been touched.

He'd always pay for dinner too if we went out. He did that because I was the one to mostly cook at home. He can cook but it was rare so on occasions when we went out, he'd pay.

"Emmy?" Charlie's voice filled the room, much clearer which told me that he was awake and no longer talking in his sleep. I snapped my head up, staring right ahead and into the wall as I took a deep breath. "How long've you been up for?"

"Not uh—" I scratched the side of my neck before I turned around to face where he was propped up on his elbows on the sofa. "...not long. 'Bout an hour maybe."

His eyes scanned over my figure and his eyes widened a little before he sat up straight.

"Do you realise _that_ thing's see-through?" He asked. "I can see your— uh— nipples."

I nodded and placed a hand on my hip, digging my nails into my skin.

I was wearing a see-through crop top with black edges and matching black lace knickers. It's what I sleep in when I want to feel sexy.

"Nothing you haven't seen before." I said, pushing myself away from the counter. Charlie's eyes stayed on me. He gulped, trying the hardest to keep his eyes on my face. Though I didn't continue all the way over to him. I stopped by one of the wooden beams that connected the floor to the ceiling. I leaned an arm against it. "I'm gonna take a shower. I've already eaten so you only need to make breakfast for yourself."

I pulled off my crop top, completely revealing my chest to him, though I didn't care because he had seen my naked body since we were seventeen and eighteen.

"Jesus fuck, Ember." He cursed as I turned my back to him and made my way into the bathroom.

When I finished my shower, I walked out with a towel wrapped around my hair but my body naked. The bathroom was right next to the bedroom so I never wore a towel around my body. I dried my body in the bathroom, then walked to my room to get changed.

I didn't do this because Charlie was here. He knew it was my routine but I couldn't say I didn't enjoy knowing how big of a struggle it was to him to see me naked right now.

Charlie was standing by the counter closest to the bathroom and I could feel his eyes burn into my back or even my ass as I walked into the bedroom. I pulled the towel off my head and ran a few fingers through my wet hair.

"Em." I heard his faint and raspy voice from the door as I got myself a new pair of knickers, pulling them on. I looked towards the door, seeing him stand there with his arms folded over his chest and his eyes focused on me. "You look really beautiful."

My eyebrows fell into a frown as I looked back at the dresser while finding a bra.

"Don't say that."

"Why not?"

"Because it hurts hearing you say it." I told him honestly. I closed the bra in front of me before I slid it around to my back and got it on properly. I heard the sound of the floor creaking as he slowly made his way over, and I froze when I felt him stand right behind me.

"Are you done with me?" He asked. Goosebumps rose on my skin when I felt his fingers brush down my shoulders and down my arms. "Is every single cell in your body screaming that you're done with me? That you don't want me?"

"Charlie." I sighed, closing my eyes. "What are you doing?"

"I miss you, angel." He whispered, his breath hitting my ear which was telling me that he was leaned much closer to me than I first expected, and then I felt his chest against my back and my shoulders, his lips grazing my ear. "I fucked up big time, but I promise that if you can find it in yourself to give me a second chance, you won't regret it."

_He'll leave again._

"You can't just charm you way back in." I said, though my voice was speaking a different story. Suddenly I sounded weak, almost as if I were to give in.

"I'm not trying to charm my way back in." He whispered. I felt his lip against the side of my neck as he kissed my skin softly, making sure to let it linger. "I'm just asking for a second chance."

I closed my eyes and automatically tilted my head to the side so give him more access to my neck when he sucked on my skin, his tongue lapping against my pulse point.

_What the fuck am I doing._

"Jesus, Charlie!" I snapped. He immediately ripped himself away, taking a long step back from me. I turned around, looking at him as I proceeded what just happened. We were both only in our underwear, his hair was messy and mine was wet from my shower. "We can't— I can't—"

"Okay." He breathed, holding up his hands in surrender. "I'm sorry. I'll leave you to get changed."


	20. Chapter 20

_Every sound around me was way too lou_ _d_ _. I kept looking around in every direction, trying to figure out what was happening._

_There was an explosion and I was thrown through the air but suddenly I was standing on the grand staircase._

_People were screaming, some were crying. Others were fighting for their lives. My heart was beating rapidly against my rib cage and I was sweating._

_Suddenly it was like a breeze of air hit me and someone appeared in front of me, running up the stairs — almost as if they had run through me. I turned around, then saw another person come running straight towards me without slowing down._

_I tried to hold out a hand to make her stop but she ran straight through me, causing me to look down at myself. My body was completely see-through._

_I let out a yelp, feeling scared and wondering what the fuck was going on. I turned back around, sprinting up the stairs. I held out my hands to push the door open to the seventh-floor corridor but instead I ran straight through the wooden material._

_I continued running down the corridor but my entire body came to a halt and my expression dropped, my eyes widening when I reached the wall led to the room of requirement._

_On the ground was Fred. His eyes were open, staring at the ceiling, but he wasn't moving. He was surrounding by dust and cement, bricks and more from what looked like an explosion._

_My throat tightened and I broke into tears while my shaking hand came up to cover my mouth. I slowly approached him, feeling myself stumble over my own feet. I slowly crouched down, my entire body shaking._

_Though as I took a closer look at the face, it suddenly merged into another face. A way too familiar face_

_Charlie._

_I fell back onto my ass as I screamed. I screamed at the top of my lungs, though no sound came from me._

My body jolted as I woke from another nightmare, tears staining my cheeks and a gaps leaving my mouth.

My mind kept replaying what I saw in the dream, but then I heard the shush in my ear and I noticed the arms wrapped around my body.

I knew who it was, and I didn't care that we weren't together anymore. I let my body melt into his, my eyes closing. I simply enjoyed that he was alive and not dead like he was in my dream.

His fingers repeatedly ran through the front of my hair, threading into it as his other arm held me tightly. That's what he did every time I woke up with a nightmare before he left. He knew exactly how to calm me down, how to comfort me.

"You're okay." He whispered into my ear. "It was just a nightmare. It wasn't real. You're okay."

_It's not real._

"I didn't know you were still having nightmares." He said softly, moving his hand to the side of my face to turn it so our eyes met.

"They've gotten worse since you left." I said in a whisper. "You're the one who dies."

He brushed his fingers through my hair again, sighing before he pressed a kiss to my forehead.

"I'm sorry." He whispered. I didn't care for the sudden intimacy. He had obviously heard me yell or cry in my sleep and had come in here and I really did need his comfort right now so that's why I let him.

I turned around in his arm, facing his chest. Our legs tangled together and I placed a hand against his warm chest while his arms tightened around me.

Somehow, we both ended up falling asleep, me in his arms. When I woke up again, it was the next morning and Charlie was sleeping heavily, soft snores coming from him.

His head was buried in the pillow next to mine, his hair a mess of light red curls around his head. One of his arms had let go of me in his sleep and was lying above his head but the other was still wrapped around my body.

His tones and muscled chest was rising and falling slowly and from time to time, he'd make some noise or mumble in his sleep.

I found myself studying his face. It was weird waking up to him after six month of not being with him, but for some reason, I liked it and for the first time in so long, I actually woke up with a smile on my face.

_Oh fuck._

My smile dropped when I remembered everything I went through. All the pain, all the nights I would wake up sweating from a nightmare. It was all because of him, yet here I was, cuddling up with him like nothing has happened.

With a sigh, I rolled out of his arms. When I got out of bed, I heard him whine in his sleep as he moved onto his stomach, bending a knee towards his side as one arm slid under his pillow, the other resting next to his side. The duvet was covering only the lower half of his body so I could clearly see the muscles on his toned back, plus the tattoos.

He always had a thing for tattoos. Most of them had something to do with dragons. He also had his siblings and his parents birthdays tattooed in runes on one of his sides. It was a tree but on each branch, there was a date written in runes.

I sat back down on the edge of the bed, running my fingers over the tree on his side. Then my eyes noticed something knew about the tattoo. Usually there was eight dates — his parents at the top and then his siblings in order from oldest to youngest, though there was a date inked into his skin right beneath the roots of the tree.

My eyes flicked to Charlie's sleeping face before I quickly got up and walked to the bookshelf next to the desk. I found the books with the runic numbers and walked back to the bed, sitting down as I opened up the book.

I looked at the signs that was tattooed on his skin and my eyes widened when I had translated every sign of the new date.

_27/08-73_

He had tattooed my birthday underneath the tree. 27th of August, 1973. He had my birthday tattooed on the skin of his left side — on his rib cage.

"Jesus." I muttered, closing my eyes for a second to gather my thoughts. He did not do that. He did not fucking get my birthday tattooed.

I stood up again, closing the book before I put it away. I walked out of the room, glancing back at him before shaking my head at the thought.

I went for a shower and when I got out, Charlie was awake, taking advantage of the fact I hadn't eaten breakfast yet, to cook some for the both of us.

Once I got myself dressed, I joined him in the kitchen while I pulled my hair back into a quick and messy bun.

"Charlie?" I asked, leaning on the wall by the counter. He glanced at me with a hum before going back to focusing on the breakfast. "When did you get my birthday tattooed on your skin?"

He froze for a moment, seeming to think about it before he continued cooking.

"I got it done in Romania."

"Okay—" I breathed. "But why?"

"What do you mean; _why?"_ He asked and looked at me. "Because I love you."

I don't know why that hurt so much to hear. It felt like he had punched me right in the chest. He _could_ punch me in the chest and that would hurt less.

"Because while I thought I was doing you a favour by disappearing from your life, I still loved you. That's something that'll never fade, and I wanted something that was dedicated to you — like a reminder."

"A reminder?"

"Of everything we've been through together." He continued, turning his head away from me again, turning the sausages on the pan. He was making a full British breakfast.

He used to do that sometimes on Sundays. It was nice waking up to.

"Because no matter what happens, you're still the favourite thing I've ever come across and I wanted something to keep me reminded of what you did for me. You kept me grounded, like the roots on a tree." He said and lifted his arm. He used the fingers on his other hand to run over the date underneath the roots of the tree tattooed on his rib cage, then he looked at me. "That's why you're by the roots, because in our relationship, I was the tree and you were the roots that kept me grounded."


	21. Chapter 21

After ranting on about Charlie being an idiot and after I ate the breakfast he made us, I left. It was Sunday and I was gonna help George at the register in his shop. That way Verity could be moved to the storage room and restock shelves while George took care of the numbers.

Fred was normally the one to do that, but since he was gone, George had to take over, though I know he hates it and it stresses him out when he also has to do stuff around the shop. That's why I always do my best to come and help him out on Sundays.

Charlie once promised me to never get a tattoo that had anything to do with me. It's a stupid idea and it's even stupider to get one after our breakup.

Though I couldn't ignore the warm and melting feeling in my heart at his explanation of it.

_"You keep me grounded."_

Fucking asshole for making me love him even more than I already did. It was like, every time he opened his mouth, he made me fall even deeper. It had always been like that. Eight years of falling more and more in love with him and it was fucking painful, especially now after he left me for almost six months.

"Here is your change and receipt, sir." I smiled at the man, handing him the money and his receipt. "Have a nice day."

I handed him the bag and he simply grabbed it before leaving.

_You too._

How hard can it be? I wanted to roll my eyes so badly but there was other customers and I didn't want to come of as rude — especially not when this is George's shop and not mine.

"How's it going down here?" George's voice came from behind me at the very same moment as he entered the area behind the register. "Are you okay?"

I looked at George at his question and frowned to question him.

"You're smiling." He commented, nodding towards my face.

_Oh shit. I was._

"I haven't seen you smile like that since—" George sighed when the realisation hit him. "How long has he been back for?"

"Huh?"

"Charlie." He spoke. "I've known you since I was a little boy. I've gotten to know your different smiles and that one there—"

He pointed at my face, causing me to force my smile to disappear, though I had to bite my lip because for some reason it was harsh

"... that's how you smile every time you're happy because of him." He said. "And don't get me wrong, I love my brother but the man left you six months ago."

"And I'm not smiling because of him." I argued. "I'm angry with him."

"Sure you are." He nodded sarcastically. "And I still have a twin."

My grimace dropped at his joke and I slowly folded my arms over my chest.

"Not funny."

"I thought it was." George laughed. "Fred would've thought so too. You're just boring."

I finally gave in to the urge, and rolled my eyes. But it was okay because this was because of George and not because of a costumer.

"So he _is_ back?"

I nodded.

"For good this time." I told him. "Well— that's what he says anyway. He's been living on my sofa for a week. I don't know— something just happened this morning— well, something has happened every morning for the entire week. I think I might consider giving him another chance."

George raised his eyebrows at me as he pushed his hands into the pockets of his trousers, tipping on his toes while he pressed his lips together.

"I see the Weasley charm has worked again." He told me. "Dear old brother charming his way back into your heart after shattering it."

I cocked an eyebrow at him as a smirk spread on my face.

"Didn't know you were a poet."

"I _can_ be." He joked. "When I _want_ to be. I do write letters though."

"Letters?"

"Yeah." He smiled softly. "I've been writing them to Fred ever since he died. I burn them so they reach hell and he can read them."

I honestly didn't know what to answer to that. I know jokes are George's coping mechanisms but they aren't mine and I don't want to take his away from him, but I don't want to join in on the jokes either because I'd just feel guilty.

"When you get back home, can you give Charlie a punch from me?" George grinned, patting my shoulder before he made his way over to some new costumers to talk to them.

When I _did_ get home that evening at around six, I opened the door to the loft, my eyes immediately landing on Charlie.

He sat by the kitchen table, his left elbow propped up, head resting in hand with a small black box in the other. The box was opening, revealing a diamond ring, but I didn't get to see more of it because Charlie heard the door and slammed the box shut before standing up abruptly, looking at me as he discreetly tried to push the box into his trousers.

He was upset but he was trying to hide it. It seemed as he had been in deep thoughts while staring at the ring.

"How was your day?" He asked, offering a smile. He kept his hand in the pocket of his trousers, the other fidgeting with the edge of his t-shirt.

I shrugged as I closed the door behind me, kicking off my shoes. I placed them neatly, then took off my jacket and hung it on the wall.

I turned around to face him, pushing up the sleeves of my shirt before I ran my hand through my hair.

Charlie didn't say anything and neither did I. We simply stared at each other. I then narrowed my eyes at him and he mimicked my actions, causing me to smile even though I tried to hide it. He then mimicked my smile too but it turned into a real grin and a laugh slipped from his mouth.

"I'll take that as a yes, then?" He asked softly, almost in a whisper. "Had a good day?"

"I was mainly standing behind a register, telling costumers to have a good day and eight out of ten times, they didn't even bother to respond." I said with a shrug. "But I guess that's the life when you're working in a shop. _Thankfully,_ I've got my sisters for that downstairs in my own shop."

Charlie hummed, his eyes following me as I walked to the cabinet in the kitchen to grab myself a glass.

"Some people can just be so _rude."_ He said in a teasing manner. I filled my glass with water before I turned around and leaned against the counter.

Charlie was leaning on the table, his hands placed flat down against the surface while his eyes burned into mine.

"You'd know everything about that, wouldn't you?" I asked, taking a sip of the water. He sighed as he slowly straightened up.

"You're still mad."

"Mad?" I laughed. "No."

I shook my head.

"I think the word you're looking for — is angry. I am _angry_ with you, Charles. And why wouldn't I be? I've heard you explanation but it doesn't change that I went through six long months of grieving our relationship."

He threaded his fingers into the front of his curls while he pressed his lips together. He then walked to the fridge and I watched him as he opened it. He leaned his arm on top of it, the other hand grabbing the handle while he leaned down to look inside.

"If we're gonna do this—" I started, causing him to slowly turning his head to look at me without changing position. "... we're taking it slow. You can sleep on the sofa, you don't have to move out — or we can take turns on having the bed. Uh— you can move your stuff back into the bedroom and I'll find a couple counsellor."

Charlie slowly straightened up, closing the fridge.

"You're giving me a second chance?"

I nodded.

"Wasn't that what you wanted?" I asked, drinking some more water. "We just— we need to take it slow and we need couple counselling. But I swear to god, Charles Weasley, if you ever fuck me over again, I am so much more than done."


	22. Chapter 22

I did not let Charlie kiss me. I knew he really wanted to, but he had to earn his right to do so. I had him by the balls and I was not about to let go.

I love him, but he _really_ needs to show me that he's serious and that he really is back to stay. I don't want my heart to break once again by him leaving again.

Then there was the thing with my family. Somehow, some time, I'd have to drop the bomb.

_"Guess what? Charlie's back! Isn't that just exiting? Yeah well... we're kinda back together but don't worry, I'm making him work for it so it's okay, right? Please don't judge me."_

How the fuck would that sound? It was stressful to think about. I forced Charlie to stay in the loft when my shop was open because two of my younger sisters were there.

At one point, the word would get out, but I didn't know if I was ready to actually tell my family. I don't know if I was sure I had made the right decision. I doubted it quite a lot, but I guess I was just being scared of history repeating itself.

I just finished another long day at work. I did a _lot_ of restocking and my shoulders were now hurting.

With a sigh, I closed the door behind me, then leaned back against it to take a moment. When I was done, I pushed off my shoes and placed them neatly. I ran a hand through my hair before I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes.

I took a step into the loft, looking around as I rolled my shoulders. Charlie was nowhere to be—

My thoughts were interrupted as the door to the bathroom opened, earning my attention. My eyes widened at the sight. Charlie was standing there, naked. _Really_ naked.

_Butt naked._

"Good afternoon, my darling." He smiled softly, running a hand through his wet hair as he moved towards me, not giving a fuck that he was naked.

_Is this payback?_

"Charlie—" I nearly gasped as my breath hitched in my throat. I backed up against the wall as he didn't stop. He placed a hand next to my head, looking down at me with a smirk.

_Don't look down._

"What's the issue, Emmy?" He asked, leaning down to my ear. " _It's nothing you haven't seen before."_

I inhaled sharply as shivers went down my spine and goosebumps rose on my skin. I stared up at his blue eyes. Suddenly I had nothing to say.

"Did you have a nice day?" He whispered as he licked right under my earlobe before biting down on it. I pressed a flat hand to his warm chest, whimpering at the things he was making me feel.

He always _did_ have that effect on me. If we had been fighting, even now that we're trying to get back to where we were before he left — he still manages to make me weak in my knees.

"I fucking hate you." I breathed. He chuckled, seeing right through my bullshit. He gently wrapped his fingers around my wrist, sliding my hand down his chest and over his stomach. I closed my eyes, biting down on my lip to prevent a certain sound to leave my mouth.

Then I heard it. Charlie moaned into my ear on purpose as he dragged my hand down to his pelvis and I proceeded to whimper in response.

As soon as my fingers brushed over his skin on his pelvis, he stepped back, smiling cheekily at me, showing his teeth. He dragged his tongue alongside his top teeth and let it continue to roll against the inside of his cheek. He winked at me, turned around and walked into our bedroom to get dressed.

_Oh fuck._

_Oh baby Jesus._

_This is war._

_You have no idea what you have just started._

I stayed in place, standing against the wooden door with a probably shocked expression on my face. When Charlie walked back out, dressed in a pair of black trousers and a white v-neck t-shirt that he dragged down his torso so I only got to see a glimpse of his muscles.

"You okay, angel?" He asked with a knowing look on his face. "You look a little... _flushed."_

His lips formed a small smirk and I felt like I was gonna throw up over what just happened. Not because it disgusted me, but because he had left me completely aroused.

"Flushed? No." I breathed. "But do you know what _will_ be flushed? Your face in the toilet if you keep that up."

Charlie raised his eyebrows at me, cooing like some fucking pigeon which was his way of basically saying _"ooh, I'm so scared of you"_ and I fucking hate it. I hate when he's cocky and I hate his sarcastic comments but only because I hated how much I loved it.

I walked towards him but as I walked past him, I cupped his groin through his trousers. His expression dropped and his eyebrows fell together in a frustrated frown but as quick as I had grabbed him, as quick I let go again and continued into our room.

Charlie - 1  
Me - 2

"Fuck, angel that wasn't fair." Charlie said as he followed me into the room. I glanced at him as I sat on the edge of the bed, rolling my shoulders again. "Tense?"

He tilted his head as he watched me before he made his way closer.

"I carried a whole lot of shit today." I said, leaning back on my hands with a sigh. "Well— not shit. It was books and books are heavy as fuck."

Charlie got onto the bed, sitting on his knees as he moved behind me. He urged me to sit up straight before placing his hands on my shoulders, massaging my muscles.

"Aren't you supposed to be a Ravenclaw?" He asked as my eyes shut closed at the sensation. He was always so good at giving massages and I know he loves giving them, _especially_ when trying to make something up to me.

_I know what you're doing._

I didn't care though because it felt so good.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, why didn't you use the levitation charm to move the books?" He asked, causing my eyes to open as I realised he was right. "Did you not think of that?"

I breathed heavily.

"In my defence, I have a lot on my mind right now." I said, groaning when he hit a specific place between my shoulder blades. _"Holy shit."_

"Like what?" He asked. "What things other than me being a selfish bastard who left you for five and a half months?"

I couldn't help but chuckle at the way he spoke about himself. I mean, not that he's lying. He's definitely not lying.

"I think—" I breathed. "Carrying all the books and working extra hard around the shop was exactly what I needed to forget about today."

"And... today _is?"_

"My due date." I said, causing his actions to freeze, his hands resting on my shoulders. Then he wrapped his arms around my shoulders and leaned down to kiss my cheek.

"I'm sorry." He whispered. "You shouldn't have gone through that."

His wet hair tickled my neck, causing me to automatically giggle while pulling my head away from him.

"It's not—" I breathed and pulled out of his arms to look at him. "... it's fine."

"No, it's not fine." He told me. "And it's my fault. I'm aware of that. I just wish I could do something. Wish I could go back in time."

"So would I." I said, moving up to sit against the headboard while Charlie sat down. "But it's done. Maybe one day if we work out, we'll start a family."

Charlie moved closer to me, watching my side profile for a moment before looking away.

"We _will_ work out." He assured me. "I'm not fucking his up again."


	23. Chapter 23

Charlie was sitting on the sofa, wearing a pair of black trousers and a white button-up shirt. He had a book in his hands. His free hand was placed against his thigh and his knees were spread slightly.

I myself, was wearing nothing, and I was gonna get him back for what he did to me a few days ago. I waited and waited to the point where he no longer expected me to do something.

I licked my lips as I leaned against the beam, watching him. I was _so_ gonna mess with him. I was completely naked and he had always had a hard time keeping his hands to himself when I was naked.

He'd just have to behave today.

"Charlie."

He hummed in response, eyes glued to the pages as he scrolled to a new one. He then glanced up at me, his eyes falling back down to the pages but then he quickly looked back up, his eyes sliding over and taking in my body.

"Oh no." He shook his head. "Not again. You are going to be the death of me, Ember."

"Oh." I fake-pouted. "Well okay then, I'll just go have some fun for myself."

I turned around but before I got to take one single step, I heard his voice behind me.

"Angel." He called. "Turn around."

With a self-satisfied smirk on my face, I slowly turned around, planting a hand on my hip. Charlie had placed his book on the table and was now leaned forward with his elbows digging into his thighs. The fingers on his left hand ran over his lips while his eyes dragged over my figure.

"It's a dangerous game you're playing."

"Oh is it?" I asked, taking slow steps towards him. "Dangerous for me? ... or dangerous for you?"

He pulled himself up to stand, his eyes meeting mine as I stood in front of him, completely naked. His pupils were dilated, almost to the point where his eyes were black instead of blue.

"Sit."

Charlie raised an eyebrow at my command, a small spreading on his face.

_Bet he thinks he's about to have sex._

I'm just gonna tease him a little. Show him to not mess with me like he did earlier this week after I came home from work.

"It wasn't a request." I said as he was still standing up. _"Sit."_

Charlie watched my face for a moment before he chose to do as I said because he knew I wasn't kidding around.

I placed my hands in his shoulders while I put my knees down on the sofa on either side of him.

My boobs were practically in his face but he had his face tilted back and was trying his hardest to keep his eyes on my face, but I couldn't ignore the way his Adam's apple bopped when he gulped harshly.

"Is this okay?" I asked softly, running my hands up to the sides of his neck. I didn't want him to feel uncomfortable in any way, so if that was the case, I'd stop the teasing immediately.

"Are you asking me if I'm okay with having you sit on me... _naked?"_ He asked before he grinned. "Because I am absolutely loving it."

He went to place his hands in my hips but I grabbed them, forcing them away.

"Jesus, Em—"

I clamped a hand over his mouth.

"No touching." I told him. "You'll just have to keep your hands to yourself."

I ran a hand into his hair, tugging his head back harshly which scored me a grunt from him. He closed his eyes as he started breathing heavily, and I smiled confidently as I started off by placing soft kisses on his neck.

I knew Charlie wanted to touch me. Didn't have to be intimidate. He just wanted his hands on me which was why this was so amusing to me.

I ran my tongue over his pulse point, sucking his skin in between my teeth. Charlie let out a frustrated moan. Knowing I had him exactly where I had him, I rocking my hips against him, feeling his already hard cock straining his trousers.

I was loving the fact that he was turned on, but I couldn't ignore the heat between my own legs. Not only was I turning him on, but I was turning myself on with my actions. I kept rocking my hips against his, rubbing my core against his boner through his trousers. I loved the sounds he made for me and I knew that stopping was gonna be hard, but I forced myself.

I ripped my lips away from his neck, and got back up on my knees, looking down at his face. I let go of his hair, causing him to look at me. He was panting. I smirked at him, and he sighed when he realised what I had been doing.

"I think I'm gonna take a shower." I smiled cheekily as I got off of him and off of the sofa. Charlie tried to reach for my hand, but I tutted at him, pulling it away. "Nuh-uh. No touching, remember?"

His eyes darkened at me and he clicked his tongue as he watched me through narrowed eyes. I sent him the same look he sent me a few days ago. I smiled with an open mouth and ran my tongue over my top teeth.

I turned around, walking into the bathroom with the same mischievous grin plastered on my face. I closed the door behind me before I chuckled softly to myself.

Charlie - 1  
Me - 3

I turned on the shower, making sure it had the right temperature before I stepped under it. I liked hot showers. Hot enough to fill the room with steam and almost burn through my skin. I turned my back to the shower head, throwing my head back as I let the water flush over me, soaking my hair and my body.

My eyes were closed, but when I heard the glass door slide open to the shower, I looked at them, seeing Charlie enter. I don't know how he managed to get naked that fast, but here he was. I inhaled sharply as he walked towards me with fast steps, hovering over me. We were now both standing under the water, our eyes locked as he too got soaked by the water.

"What're you doing?" I asked. The tables had completely changed. Now he was the one with the cocky smile while I was feeling weak due to _him_ being nude. I hadn't exactly expected him to come and join me in the shower.

"I'm taking a dump." he joked. "What does it _look_ like I'm doing?"

"Charming." I muttered. Charlie reached for my shampoo, pressing some of it out into his hand. He used to love to use my shampoo and my conditioner. He wanted to smell like me because it made him feel closer to me.

My eyes watched him intensely as he shampooed his hair. His lovely ginger curls. When his hair was short, it wasn't that curly but when he had it longer, they showed more.

"You know, Emmy– you can look down if you want to." he said cheekily, his eyes shining with amusement. I raised my eyebrows at him as I ran a few fingers over my mouth. I dipped the middle one into my mouth, sucking on it as I maintained eye contact. Then I dragged it back out with a _'pop'_ sound and I held it up at Charlie, flicking him iff.

 _"Hmm."_ he muttered, his smile growing. He rinsed his hair from shampoo, then grabbed my hand and brought it up to his face. He locked eyes with me again and I gasped as he now sucked the very same middle finger into _his_ mouth.

_Fuck this._

_Fuck taking it slow._

My plan was to simply tease him and get him back at moaning in my ear, but now we were both naked in the shower and I was just as turned on as he was.

He continued to suck on my finger, taking it in all the way to the second knuckle. I felt him swirl his tongue around it, humming as if he thought I tasted good.

_He would be excellent at blowjobs._

I couldn't help the laugh that slipped from my lips at the thought I had. Charlie frowned to question me as he pulled hiss mouth off of my finger.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing." I shrugged, smiling. "Just a thought."

"A thought?" he asked, running a finger over my collarbone, guiding it down between my boobs. "Something you'd like to share?"

His finger moved over my stomach and circled my bellybutton before he continued down, ghosting his finger over the big scar on my stomach and then over my pelvis. Once again I inhaled sharply as my body reacted to the way he was touching me.

"The way you were sucking on my—" I gasped when he moved his hand between my legs, not wasting anytime before his fingers attacked my clit, rubbing it in circles. My mouth opened and my brows fell into a frown. Charlie watched my face, raising an eyebrow in an innocent way as if he didn't know what was going on. "...m-my finger... it had me thinking you'd be good at— oh!"

I gasped again when he slid one long middle finger through my folders and into me. I automatically grabbed onto his arm, having to hold onto him to stay on my feet and it fall to the ground.

"Good at what, darling?"

My teeth sunk into my bottom lip, my head tiled back and I tried desperately to hold back the moan that was resting in my throat, fighting it's way up. Charlie knew my body. He knew exactly what to do to get me going and right now, I felt like I was going to die from pleasure as his finger rubbed my walls and continuously brushed past my g-spot.

"B-B-Blowjob." I stuttered violently, a breathy moan following my answer. Charlie's free hand came up to rest against the side of my neck, his thumb brushing past my jawline.

"Open your eyes, angel. Look at me."

Automatically, I did what he instructed. I saw the satisfied grin on Charlie's face as he continuously fingered me with just the one, knowing I secretly wanted more from him. He loved torturing me, and right now he was doing just that. It was his revenge for getting him hard, then leaving.

As he once told me, I'm a bottom who loves to act like a top. When it comes to the real deal, he's the one in control – the one with all the power, and I don't care. I've always been a sucker for following his orders when it's anything sexual.

"Blowjob, eh?" he grinned. "Well, I certainly _am_ good with my mouth. Wouldn't you say?"

_Asshole._

I wasn't the only one affected by this. I could feel how hard he was against my right hip. He was just as aroused as I was, and the steam surrounding us, certainly wasn't helping.

"Is that what you want?" he asked softly. His index finger suddenly joined his middle finger, causing me to let out a loud moan. I was fighting to keep my eyes open, but the way he was watching me – he wanted me to keep them open. "Do you want my mouth? To show you _just_ how skilled I am?"

_Oh sweet mother of Jesus._

How is it that we're standing here, like this and we still haven't kissed for six months? How is it that he's fingering me and we've seen each other naked now multiple times since we've been back, but I still haven't kissed him yet. I mean, I know I wouldn't let him, but right now I'm letting him do so much more.

His thumb was circling my clit, adding so much pleasure to what his fingers were already doing. It was all I could concentrate on. I didn't focus on his question, or the look on his face. I couldn't even keep my eyes closed anymore. My head fell back and I moaned softly as my eyes closed, though as soon as Charlie saw me close my eyes, he pulled his hand away.

"Oh for Christ sake." I groaned at the lack of friction. I looked at him, breathing heavily. He smiled in a mischievous way before he backed me up against the glass wall of the shower. He placed his hands against the glass, on either side of my head as he lowered himself to look me in the eyes.

"Don't bring Christ into his." He whispered, planting a kiss on the corner of my mouth before dragging his lips to my jaw, then up to my ear. " _Yes or no, angel?_ Do you want my mouth?"

"Fuck yes." I breathed, hearing his deep and raspy chuckle in my ear afterwards. He pulled back, locking his eyes with mine as he slowly slid down my body until he was on his knees. I leaned my head back against the glass wall, preparing myself for what was to happen.

Charlie wrapped his hands around my thighs, urging them apart. I took a deep breath but then gasped loudly when he dove straight in.

He sucked my clit into his mouth, causing me to be a moaning mess. Charlie had always been good with his mouth and he knew it. It was like he knew my vagina better than I did.

"Oh fuck." I cursed as his tongue came out to run through my lips, then flicked over my nerves. He had my arching my back off the glass wall, whines and moaned leaving my mouth faster than I could register them.

My hands found his hair, closing around it. Charlie grunted against me when I tugged at it, and the vibrations shot through my clit. While he was licking, nipping and sucking away down there, he ran his hands down my legs to the back of my knees, before continuing down my calves. His touch was light as a feather, making goosebumps rise on my skin.

"C-Charlie." I stuttered. His tongue parted my lips, dipping into me slightly. I hung my head, my chin against my chest. I looked down at him to see him look back up at me. His eyes were dark and he was smirking against me, loving the way he was making me feel.

Then I felt his right hand leave my leg and only seconds later, I felt him add to the pleasure with two fingers pushing up into me.

"Fuck!" I yelled into the room, throwing my head back as my eyes rolled back into my skull. He pumped his fingers in and out of me while licking away, flattening his tongue, then pointing it again. I could feel the tension building in my stomach. I was getting closer and closer to the edge, moaning and bucking my hips against his face. _"Fuck_ me."

My orgasm ripped through me. I was getting so loud that I had to cover my mouth with my hand. Not that anyone was in the loft but I wouldn't want anyone in Diagon Alley hearing me. The walls weren't exactly thick so it was a possibility.

Charlie rode me through my orgasm with his mouth and fingers and once it was over, I was panting as I relaxed against the glass wall.

He placed a kiss to the side of each thigh before he started making his way up, placing kisses all the way up over my stomach and cleavage. When he stood up straight, he looked down at me with a cheeky smile. He licked his lips and hummed in approval.

"Fuck, I've missed you." He whispered, leaning down to kiss my shoulder.

"Yeah? Should've stayed then."

He pulled back from my shoulder to look at me, and I smiled mischievously at him. Again, he placed his hands on either side of my head, getting so close that I could feel his warm breath on my face.

"Are you alright?" He asked. "Think you can handle more?"

I placed a hand against his chest, dragging it down while keeping my eyes locked with his. Just as I wrapped my fingers around his member, he grabbed my wrist and pinned it next to my head against the glass wall, along with my other wrist.

"Nuh-uh, no touching, remember?" He mocked my comment from earlier, and I rolled my eyes before he suddenly turned me around in one quick movement. I pressed my hands flat against the screen, moaning softly when I felt him press up against me. He placed his hands on my hips, planting a kiss on the side of my neck.

His right hand moved around to my pelvis, guiding it down between my legs, and my body jolted due to how sensitive I was. He kissed the back of my shoulder before his hand went back to my hips. He stepped back, guiding my hips with him so that I was slightly bend over with my hands against the glass wall.

"I'm gonna have to pull out." He told me through a heavy breath as his hands ran down my back to give my cheeks a squeeze.

"No." I assured him. "I'm not ovulating for another week and sperm can only live for five days inside the vagina."

I heard him laugh softly as he aligned himself with my opening. His hands went back to my hips and he thrusted into me, his groan mixing with my moan.

"Why do you know that?" He breathed, pulling back out to then thrust into me even harder. I whimpered at the feeling, closing my eyes.

"I— fuck— it's basic—" I moaned at the pace he was going, hitting all the right places while he massaged my walls. "...basic k-knowledge."

Charlie hummed behind me, his fingers digging into the skin at my hips while he only sped up the thrusting. My entire body was moving in rhythm to his pace and our moans mixed together.

"Basic knowledge, huh?" He breathed. "Can't be— when I— I don't know about it."

"Cause you're dumb." I moaned, biting my lip at the amount of pleasure I was receiving by this. Charlie ran his left hand under my stomach and up to grab my boob.

"Well—" he made one very hard thrust, earning a moan from me that mixed with a whimper. "... you're fucking me, aren't you? Can't think I'm that— _dumb."_

_Well technically you're the one doing all the fucking._

This hadn't exactly turned out how I intended. As I've already said, I simply wanted to tease me... but now we're _here._ Not that I'm complaining because I haven't had sex with him since we conceived which was last September.

"Don't have to be smart to have sex." I told him through a grin he couldn't see. My grin disappeared quickly though when his hand went down from my boob and the tip of his fingers pressed to my clit instead, helping me on my way to my second orgasm.

I moved my head to the side, biting down on my arm as the tension in my stomach was building up again. My walls were starting to clench around him and he automatically slowed down while making sure that each thrust was harder and longer. He was close too.

To get him off, I purposely clenched around him tighter, hearing his groans in response. Then my second orgasm hit me like a wave and I moaned loudly into my arm, suffocating the sound. At the same time, Charlie came inside of me with a loud and raspy groan. His thrusting was very slow now as he emptied himself completely into me which took a few more strokes.

At last, he pulled out and we were both panting roughly as I slowly turned around, aching between my legs. I leaned back against the glass wall, looking at Charlie as he rested a hand next to my head, his eyes closed while trying to process what just happened.

I think we were both trying to process it. Neither of us had gotten laid since September. That's nine months.

"Charlie." I whispered, placing my hand on his jaw to cup one side of his face. He opened his eyes to look at me, and I smiled softly before I pressed my lips to his. Feeling the butterflies fill my stomach as electricity shot through my veins, I wrapped my other arm around his neck.

Charlie responded with a hum of satisfaction as he wrapped his own arm around my waist to pull me closer, the other hand running down the side of my boob and down my stomach to then rest in my waist. He kissed me back, deepening the kiss immediately. Our lips parted and our tongues met, making everything heated once again.

At one point, we broke apart, panting heavier than we did before. We smiled at each other before he slowly turned me around to wrap both arms around my body, hiding his face in the shook of my neck. I closed my eyes, placing my right arm on top of his while wrapping the hand on my other arm, around his left.

"Hey, Emmy?" He whispered against my skin. I simply hummed in response. "The next water bill is going to be expensive."


	24. Chapter 24

"I'm just saying that we don't need couple counselling." Charlie argued with me as I wrapped a towel around my body after our mutual shower. "Weren't you just there? Experienced what happened in that shower?"

I turned to look at him, realising he was standing much closer so I had to take a step back to look up at him.

"Sex doesn't solve everything, Charlie." I said with a sigh. "Sex is _great_ but somehow, somewhere in our relationship, we lost the ability to communicate and look how that went. We need counselling."

I handed him a towel and he sighed at me as he wrapped it around his waist.

"I don't want to sit in front of some psychologist and talk about issues that we don't have."

I shook my head at him, grabbing another towel to dry my hair with while looking into the mirror. Charlie's body was turned towards me, his eyes watching my movements while I watched us through the mirror.

"You're too proud." I sighed. "It's typical you. Why can't you just be on board with this, whisky?"

I noticed he started smiling and I frowned as I looked up at him with a questioning look. _"What?"_

He shrugged, nudging me with his shoulder.

"You called me whisky again." He said shyly. It was hard to fight the smile that wanted to show so when it did, I quickly looked at the mirror again.

"It might feel like everything is back to normal, but we still lack trust." I said before I turned to open the door. I threw the towel over it so it could dry, and then looked at Charlie while holding onto the towel around my body. "I need to be able to trust _you_ again about leaving and _you_ need to trust me good enough so that you want to talk to me about insecurities and other things."

I turned around to walk out of the bathroom, but nearly screamed when I saw the two familiar faces sit in the kitchen, staring right at me.

Brazier was standing by the opened fridge and Romany was sitting at the table. Charlie showed up behind me to see what was going on, and when my brothers saw him, their eyes widened.

"Oh shit." Charlie muttered behind me. I gulped.

"Wha— uh— how long have you two been here?"

"Long enough to know you're not discreet." Brazier scoffed, turning his attention back on the content of my fridge. I heard Charlie snicker behind me, but that turned into a frown when I elbowed him in the ribs.

"I'm traumatised." Romany said, staring at us with wide eyes. I sighed, placing my face in my hand while the other still clutched my towel.

"Oh get over it." Brazier told his twin brother. "Stop being such a virgin."

"Dude!" Romany scoffed. "I've had sex!"

"Yeah—" Brazier laughed. "With your fist."

_Why are my younger brothers standing in my loft, talking about sex?_

"You're seventeen!" I told them. "You shouldn't even be _having_ sex!"

Both of my brothers looked at me. Brazier had a look on his face that screamed _'don't act like you weren't much younger'_ while Romany sighed and covered his face with his hands.

"Love, didn't you lose your virginity to Barnaby Lee in year six?" Charlie asked from behind me. I turned around and sent him a look that told him to shut up, before I made my way into the bedroom.

I closed the door behind me with a sigh before I went on with getting dressed. My family still didn't know that Charlie was here — well, now my younger brothers did.

_They heard us._

The thought of that, made me want to vomit. My body shivered at the thought and I shook my head, trying to get the thought out of my head.

Once I was dressed in a pair of jeans and a plain white t-shirt, I opened the door, then threw the towel over it.

"Now tell me, why are you here?" I asked my brothers who were both sending daggers at Charlie with their eyes. "Aren't you supposed to be at school? You're graduating in a couple of weeks."

"McGonagall has shortened the school years by two weeks, since she became headmistress." Romany explained. "We just got home today and decided to come here and see if you had any food because mum and dad haven't done groceries yet."

I sighed and ran a hand to the back of my neck before I looked at Charlie.

"Why are you just standing there?" I asked. "Go get dressed."

He started backing up towards the room, maintaining eye contact with Brazier, and he looked terrified.

When he closed the door behind him, I turned towards one of my brothers. The one I swear is a little bit evil.

"What did you say to him?"

"Nothing." He shrugged. "Just that I'll cut off his balls and push them all the way up in his ass so that his hole rips and then I'll pull them out and force him to swallow them."

My lips parted to say something, but I had absolutely no idea how to respond to that.

"Alright, you're welcome to anything in the fridge." I said, causing Brazier to quickly open it. " _As long_ as you don't mention this to anyone. I'm not ready to tell everyone that—"

"That Charlie's back?" He asked me, looking over at me. "Or that you're fucking him like you've forgotten the heartbreak you went through?"

"We were not— _fucking._ There's a difference between that and having sex."

"It _sounded_ like fucking." Brazier said with his eyebrows raised. "And you know, Em. I'm not good at keeping secrets."

He smiled mischievously, and I sighed at his behaviour before I walked over to the side table next to the sofa.

"How much do you need to keep your mouth quiet?" I asked, grabbing my wallet. Brazier slowly closed the fridge, turning towards me with his arms folded over his chest. "Ten galleons?"

"Oh c'mon." He laughed. "You're an author. You can afford to give me at least a hundred."

"I swear to god, Brazier. Stop being such a little shit." I said. "I'm your sister."

"Correction—" he held up a finger. "You're my sister with the brain a size of a mouse. What are you doing, getting it on with the same man who left you for six months? Pregnant and all."

My eyes widened as my lips parted. Brazier's mouth then formed an _'O'_ and Romany facepalmed.

"How did you know that?" I asked. "Who told you that?"

Then my eyes landed on the diary on the table and I laughed sarcastically as I watched over and grabbed it.

"Did you read this?" I asked, looking at him before looking at Romany. "What is wrong with you two? You turn eighteen in a week and you decide to turn towards the most childish act of all to steal someone's diary?"

"To our defence—" Romany held up a hand. "... we didn't know it was a diary until we read a few lines. It pretty much looks like a book. The few lines just happened to be you explaining you being pregnant before he left you."

I sighed, closing my eyes for a moment before I looked at Brazier.

"I'll write you a check of two hundred galleons for you to keep your mouths shut about both Charlie being back and me having been pregnant." I said and looked between my two younger brothers.

"I don't want them." Romany said. "I won't say anything but I don't need your money."

"I'll take them!" Brazier hurried to say. The door to the bedroom opened and Charlie walked back out, fully dressed while I walked back to the side table to grab my check book.

I found a pen and wrote the check in Brazier's name before handing it to him.

"What was that for?" Charlie questioned, running his fingers through his hair.

"Money for me." Brazier said as he looked at the check with a smile on his lips. Then he looked at Charlie and the smile dropped drastically. "It's payment. Now I can keep you two a secret. Crispus would be mad if he knew, Avalon would be _raging._ She would get Val and Cal and the three would tie you to a chair and cut off your fingers one by one before cutting off your cock and feeding it to you. Then they would cut your stomach open to retrieve it and then they'd sew it back on. All of that just to see you suffer."

The room got quiet and Charlie slowly moved over to stand behind me.

"He's always scared me." He whispered, leaning down to me while keeping his eyes on my brother. "Have your parents ever made him see a therapist?"


	25. Chapter 25

_"She's dead."_

_The room went silent at Charlie's words, my family staring at him in shock. I was standing behind the sofa where Crispus, Calypso, Valencia and Amethyst sat. I was shouting, I was yelling, I was doing everything to try and get their attention, but they couldn't hear me. They shouldn't see me either._

_I was a ghost._

_"It was an accident." Charlie continued, his brows in a frown. "I'm so sorry. I don't know what happened. One minute we were fighting, the next she was just lying there."_

_No one else said anything. Everyone were just staring up at Charlie who was explaining to them how he killed me._

_"I think she hit her head in something. Maybe the table." Charlie said. Why were they all so calm? Why weren't they showing any sign of grief? I'm their daughter— their sister. "She was bleeding a lot from her head. There was nothing I could do to stop it."_

My brain woke first. I stared up at the ceiling, unable to move, feeling trapped in my own body. It felt like being in a coma all over again. I hated it.

I started crying silently as I remembered how it felt being in that coma due to the seizure I had after we won the war.

Then my body jolted awake and I immediately sat up, breathing heavily through my sobs. It was never going to end. I was always going to be experiencing these nightmares. They only got worse.

Maybe I should be seeing a therapist or a psychologist. I needed someone to help me with this.

I ran my hands over my face and into my hair, tugging at it out of frustration before I got out of bed. My body was shaking and I was sweating, causing some hair to stick to my forehead.

The first thing I did was to open the doors to the balcony to get in some fresh air. Then I started pacing back and forth in the room, trying to shake it out of my head while shaking my hands violently.

Charlie and I desperately needed couples counselling. There had to be a reason for me having a nightmare about him killing me.

I swung the door open, leaving the bedroom to walk into the kitchen. Charlie was a heavy sleeper, always had been so he wouldn't wake up easily. Boy could sleep through anything.

I crouched down by the loose board in the floor, and removed it, revealing my secret alcohol stash. Charlie never knew about it. He loved whisky and we had available alcohol in one of the cupboards, but this was my secret with much stronger alcohol.

Drinking was my coping mechanism and right now, I desperately needed to drink. My secret stash was full of alcohol bottles that I had bought in the Muggle world.

I grabbed my bottle of Vodka, and put the board back in the floor. I looked towards the living room, watching Charlie while I opened the bottle of Vodka and took a big sip of it.

These nightmares caused me so much pain and fear. I know they aren't real, but they _seem_ real, and that's what scares me.

I managed to move my way into the table, sitting with my legs over the edge. I stared at the sleeping body on the sofa while drinking the vodka.

I truly loved Charlie, but it was dreams like that, that made me realise just how much damage he left when he packed his things and dumbed me.

I hadn't forgiven him. I didn't know if I ever would, but throughout a day, everything just seemed so back to normal. Then nighttime came, I'd have a nightmare and my mind would race again.

Sure, I had nightmares before he left. I had nightmares about the war and seeing Fred lie there, but now every single nightmare had Charlie's face in them and it always had something to do with death.

Either he was dead, maybe it was me, or maybe it was the both of us. I couldn't take my eyes off of Charlie. The way he was curled up on the sofa, his ginger curls a mess on his head and his lips parted as he breathed heavily through them.

I started imagining what our daughter would've looked like, and then I started crying again as I continued to cry.

Charlie and I could've been happily married with a little baby sleeping peacefully in her crib right now. She would've been adorable with a few red hairs on her head. Her eyes would eventually be either blue, green, a mix or maybe even brown. I would've wanted her to be called either Clover, Enola or Izora.

Those were three names I really liked for a little girl. It's some I had always picked out. I've always imagined myself being a first-time mum to a girl — I don't know why. Though when I found out I was pregnant, I also started looking at boys names. I was _so_ excited.

I liked Theo or Canyon, perhaps even Marino, but now I'm not pregnant and I'm probably not gonna get the chance to become a mum until I'm in my thirties, and women are most fertile in their twenties, so that sucks.

I slid off the table, making my way towards the sofa while taking another big sip of the bottle. With a sigh, I sat down on the coffee table, staring at Charlie's beautiful face as he lied there.

If he ever fucking leaves me again, I'll cuff him to our bed. I don't care if I'll have to feed him and hold his fucking cock when he needs to pee into a bottle.

If he leaves me, I'll kill him.

It's that simple.

Suddenly Charlie opened his eyes, looking at me with them narrowed. He then rubbed them and sighed softly as he pulled himself up to sit. I watched while he put his feet on the ground and looked at me again as we sat in front of each other.

"I could feel your eyes on me."

"You could?" I mumbled. "You normally sleep heavily."

He chuckled softly, his eyes going from the bottle in my hand and up to my face as I took a sip.

"Well, the sofa is shit to sleep on." He told me. "Angel, why are you drinking at this time?"

"Because I'm tired."

He placed his hands on my thighs, giving them a squeeze as he watched me sip off the bottle again.

"If you're tired, you should be sleeping."

"Not _tired._ Not like that." I sighed out of frustration. "I'm tired of dreaming about death. You killed me and my family didn't care."

When I went to take _another_ sip, Charlie grabbed the bottle from my hand and sniffed it before he scrunched up his nose.

"I don't recognise this. Did you go out and get it?" He asked before he eyed my clothing. "No.. couldn't have. Not in your knickers and a t-shirt."

He looked up at my face again with a wondering look.

"Where'd you get this?"

I looked at the bottle he was holding, then at his face before I stood up.

"I'm going to bed." I announced, but as I stood up, so did he. He grabbed my hand, forcing me back.

"Don't tell me you're hiding alcohol somewhere." He said with a disappointed sigh. He watched my face for a moment, then shook his head at me. "Jesus, Ember. Where is it?"

"Where's what?"

"Your stash!" He raised his voice slightly. I ripped my hand from his, taking a step back.

"I don't see what the big deal is."

"You don't—" he let out a laugh, shaking his head. "A few nights ago, you were drinking too. You drank an entire bottle of fire whisky because it was _gone_ in the morning, but you weren't hungover."

"So?" I scoffed. "What are you trying to say, Charlie? I am sorry that I am such a wreck but you are the one who fucking left. You lived your life in Romania while I was stuck in my _boring_ ass life. I lost almost everything. You, our baby, the future we had planned together. You don't get to judge me for drinking."

"I'm not judging you for drinking." He said. "I'm judging you for the amount you _do_ drink. This isn't healthy. Hiding a stash, coming up with excuses for your drinking and getting aggressive."

"I'm not getting aggressive!" I yelled. "You're just being a fucking asshole!"

"I'm being an asshole?" He laughed. "For looking out for you? You've got a drinking problem, Ember!"

I flicked him off in response, feeling the anger starting to boil inside of me.

"I do _not_ have a drinking problem."

_I do not have a drinking problem._

"My uncle had a drinking problem." Charlie told me. "I know what it looks like."

"And what does to look like?" I asked. "You can't judge me on the small amount I've had to drink!"

"No, but I can judge you on the many bottles that keep disappearing from the cupboard and empty bottles on the counter in the morning that I know we've never owned." He said. "You're hiding it somewhere because deep down you're embarrassed of your drinking habit."

I took two long steps towards Charlie and grabbed the bottle of vodka from his hand before marching into the bathroom. Charlie followed behind but I got the door closed and locked it.

"Ember!" He yelled. "Don't you dare continue drinking that shit!"

"Why can't I drink vodka when you can drink whisky?!" I yelled. I took a deep breath, trying to calm my system before I threw my head back, placing the bottle at my lips, feeling the liquid running down my throat.

I heard a spell being cast, and the door flew open, making me jump.

"You've been back for less than a month." I told him. "You have no right coming in here and telling me if I can or cannot drink."

"I'm trying to help you." He said. "You can't seek to alcohol whenever you have a nightmare. It's not healthy."

He reached for the bottle, but I held it back, staring at him cautiously.

"Give me the bottle, Ember."

_"No."_

"Just— give it to me, we can go to bed and we can talk about this in the morning." He said. " _Or_ I can mention it when we start couples counselling. I bet the therapist will tell you exactly what I just did."

I bit onto my lip, fighting the urge to cry as I slowly handed over the bottle.

"It was the only pain relief I had in those six months." I excused myself. "You can't just take it away."


	26. Chapter 26

"Would either of you start of by telling me why you've decided to seek couple counselling?" Doctor Vixen asked as she sat in her chair, one leg over the other and her hands folded in her lap.

"Go on Ember." Charlie said in an annoyed tone. He leaned back against the sofa and rested his arms up on the back of it. "Tell her why we're here."

I rolled my eyes at the tone I could hear from him and then offered a small smile to doctor Vixen.

"Well, Charlie and I started dating the year I was turning eighteen and the year he would be turning nineteen, and we've been together ever since. Though in last December, two days before his birthday, he left me. It was all very out of the bl—"

"It was _not_ out of the blue." Charlie interrupted me. He had been in this mood all day because he doesn't want counselling. "It's not my fault you didn't see the signs."

I scoffed and looked at him.

"Like you saw the signs of my pregnancy?" I asked, raising my eyebrows. "Because it was pretty much fucking obvious that I was knocked up."

I turned back towards doctor Vixen and forced a small smile.

"It really happened because of the war and what happened." I explained. "Charlie's younger brother died, I hit my head and after the war, at St. Mangos, _that_ caused me to have a seizure. I was in a coma for about a month. Though when I woke up and I was allowed to go home, _I_ was the one taking care of _him._ He was depressed, lying in bed. He only got up to get something to eat or drink and he didn't get dressed. I didn't know that would end up with him packing his stuff when I got home from work."

Doctor Vixen looked at the two of us for a moment before she straightened up.

"Charlie, you don't seem to agree with how Ember sees the issues in your relationship.

I looked at my boyfriend as he shrugged with a bored look on his face.

"I mean— yes, I do, I guess. I know that I hurt her when I left, but I've explained the situation and I am trying to completely gain back her trust, but I don't know how to do that."

Doctor Vixen nodded slowly before she grabbed the notepad in the air, then ripped off a blank sheet of paper. She curled it up in her hand, then handed it to Charlie.

"You see that?" She asked. "Try and get it back to how it was before. Without the use of magic."

Charlie looked at her like she was dumb, then glanced at me and shrugged.

"You can't do that."

"Exactly." She nodded. "Look at that piece of paper as your trust with Ember. I'm not here to attack anyone, I'm simply here to help but you need to understand how trust works. Once you've broken that, it is _very_ hard to recover and with most people, it's _impossible_ to restore."

Charlie let out a sigh and leaned back on the sofa again. I felt his eyes on me for a minute before he looked away.

"Regaining trust takes time. You need to be patient, reliable, honest and open." Doctor Vixen said. "So Charlie, why don't you tell Ember how you feel about your situation?"

Charlie said the same things I had already heard from him. We spend about an hour talking to Doctor Vixen about our relationship and we made a new appointment for next week, before we headed home.

"I'm gonna visit my family tomorrow." I informed him when I had take off my shoes and my jacket. Charlie looked at me for a moment and simply hummed in response. "I'm gonna tell them you're back."

"Oh?"

"Yeah." I breathed. "I hate keeping secrets from them."

I walked into the kitchen and grabbed a glass, filling it with water. Then I turned around and looked at Charlie as I leaned back against the sofa.

"You know I _do_ love you, right?" I asked and took a sip of my water. "That's why I'm making us go through counselling — because I want us to work. I want us to be able to communicate."

Charlie let out a sigh as he folded up the sleeves of his shirt while approaching me.

"I know." He nodded. "I'm sorry if I've seemed dismissive of it. I just wish I could go back in time and decide to stay instead of leaving."

He placed his hands on either side of me on the counter, and pressed a kiss to my forehead, before he rested his against mine.

"But Angel, the communication has to go both ways." He told me. "Remember what Doctor Vixen said. _Honesty._ I need to know where you hide your alcohol because if you keep drinking like that, you'll end up an alcoholic and in the end, that'll kill you."

I looked up at his eyes but I didn't say anything. I knew he was doing it out of love, but drinking had been the only thing I knew how to control after he left, and then it sort of _slipped_ out of my control. Now I just crave it to numb my feelings whenever I'm depressed.

"I know it's my fault you started." He said softly and brought a hand up to my face. He brushed his knuckles over my cheekbone before running a finger down my jawline. "So let me help you before it gets out of hand."

I took another sip of my water before I put the glass on the counter. Charlie removed his hands and I walked over to where I hid the alcohol beneath the floor. I could feel his eyes on me as I loosened the board in the floor. I threw the loose board on the floor, then sat down and leaned against the fridge as I looked up at Charlie.

His eyes were focused on the bottles that I had hidden underneath the kitchen floor. I watched him approach slowly. He crouched down and picked up one bottle before looking at it.

"I'm gonna get rid of these." He said. "Plus the whisky in the cupboard. This is now an alcoholic free household."

I didn't protest. I knew he did it because he cared. He _did_ care, right? I mean, he must if he goes out of his way to throw all the alcohol out, even his own whisky.

Charlie pulled out bottle after bottle and put them in a bag before the whisky in the cupboard went the same way.

"I'll leave for about fifteen minutes, yeah?" He asked and offered me a soft smile. "I'll see if the leaky cauldron would want these."

I simply nodded and watched as he got his shoes and a jacket back on before leaving the flat.

I sighed loudly as I reached for the board and put it back in the floor. Then I leaned back and stared at the ceiling.

_What am I now supposed to use after a nightmare?_


	27. Chapter 27

"There is a reason for why I wanted everyone to be gathered." I said, nervously fidgeting with my fingers as my family sat in front of me.

Crispus, Valencia, Calypso and Romany had all taken up the sofa while Crispus' wife Carrie sat on his lap.

Brazier and Amethyst sat on the floor in front of the sofa while Avalon sat in the armchair with Amber in her lap and Mahlon sat on the arm rest of the chair.

Dad was standing behind the sofa, leaning on the back of it with his hands, and mum sat on the small round ottoman on the other side of the sofa.

"You all know how Charlie left me, right?" I asked earning both nods and hums from my family members. "Well— you see... he feels very sorry about that and is really beating himself up about it. He gave me an explanation and though I'm still very angry and hasn't forgiven him, I—"

Dad straightened up, slowly folding his arms over his chest which automatically made me freeze both my actions and my sentence.

I might be twenty-five, but my dads reactions still always scares me.

"Charlie's _back?"_ He asked. "The same Charlie who left England, broke my little girls heart? _That_ Charlie."

"I'm twenty-five." I mumbled. "Not that little."

"Is he in the loft?" Amethyst asked. "Is he in the loft right now?"

"Ames—"

"Is he?" Calypso pressed.

I've started a war. My family against Charlie. Oh fuck. I watched and listened as my siblings all started protesting, raising their voices at me.

Well, the twins didn't say anything. Romany looked tired and Brazier was smirking — probably over the fact that I gave him a lot of money to keep quiet and now I'm here, telling them myself.

"Listen!" I raised my voice, causing everyone to go quiet. "Charlie is already beating himself up about it. He doesn't need you all to go confront him. I'm not excusing his decision to leave, but now he's back and I can't just throw all those years away."

" _He_ threw all of those years away." Valencia said. "And you're just taking him back?"

I inhaled sharply, placing my hands on my hips as I dug my nails into my sides.

"We're doing couples counselling." I said. "I just wanted to let you know. Though I'm not interested in your opinions because I already know what you think and I know you're gonna give me hell about this for a long time."

"We're not gonna give _you_ hell." Valencia scoffed. "We're gonna give _Charlie_ hell."

"I still don't understand why the fuck you're with him again." Brazier spoke. "I mean— you're saying you're not excusing his decision to leave, but you fucking slept with him! What— where you trying to get pregnant again?"

He immediately clamped a hand over his mouth as I sighed and closed my eyes while pinching the bridge of my nose.

"I am _going_ to _kill_ you." I said and looked at him again. "Give me my money back."

"Oh— uh... I kinda already bought something for them." He said and stood up. "Don't have them— sorry."

He left the room and I dreadfully turned to look at the rest of my family who looked in shock.

"You were pregnant?" Mum asked. "Oh sweetie... why didn't you tell us?"

"Well—" I breathed. "I had an abortion. It's that simple."

"Did he know you were pregnant?" Calypso asked as she stood up. "Did he know? Because if he did, I am going over there and I'm going to hex him!"

"Oh for fuck sake." I breathed. "That's it. I told you he's back, now I'm going home."

I walked out into the hallway, took on my shoes before I grabbed my wand from the holder on the wall, then I apparated to outside of my shop.

When I got up to the loft, Charlie was sitting in a chair by the table in the kitchen, though he had fallen asleep, his cheek pressed against the wooden surface of the table.

He had _had_ a really long night. I had woken up with a nightmare and I walked out into the kitchen to see if there was any alcohol though I knew he had gotten rid of it all. Charlie had woken up and he sat with me on the sofa until I fell asleep. When I woke up in the morning, he was still awake. We were lying in the same position as when I fell asleep. My head on his lap, his hand playing with my hair. He said he had stayed awake in case I had another nightmare and needed him.

I sighed, pushed off my shoes before I walked over to the table. I put my wand own, then ran my hand through his thick and curly hair that was getting longer and longer with each day.

A small groan came from Charlie's lips and his eyebrows fell into a frown. He now wore the same expression he always did as he was waking up.

I couldn't help but smile at how cute he looked. I kept brushing my fingers through his hair, watching him as he slowly sat up and yawned into his hand.

"When did you get back?" He mumbled tiredly, looking up at me with one eye closed.

"Just now, actually."

He nodded slowly and wrapped his hand around my wrist, forcing my hand out of his hair. Instead he moved my open palm to his mouth and planted a kiss on it.

"How did they take it?"

I shrugged and leaned against the table next to where he sat. He moved my hand to press my warm palm to the cold skin on the side of his neck.

"You really want to know?"

"I'll take that as a; they didn't take it well?"

I hummed, sighing again as I looked into the living room while chewing on my bottom lip. I so wanted my family to react differently. I understood perfectly why they reacted the way they did, but I just needed their support. I think both Charlie and I need their support to be able to move on and get back to how it used to be.

"They probably need some time to get used to it." I said. "Plus, Brazier blurted that we slept together and that I've been pregnant. I'm gonna kill that little shit the next time I see him."

"He— well, your family _definitely_ hates me after hearing that." He said and stood up, letting go of my hand. "Though I can't blame them. You've always been the perfect girlfriend and then I go and screw that up. Call it a moment of insanity — I don't know."

I ran my hand up his chest, patting it gently before I pushed myself off the table. I walked around him, letting my hand trail around his shoulders until I let go of him to go and get something to drink.

I had been drinking a lot of water since Charlie took away my pain relief. When I crave alcohol, I drink water just to be able to drink something.

"Do you think we'll ever start a family?" I asked. "I mean— I know we need to figure this thing out first but — do you think we'll get to that point one day?"

I looked back at Charlie as I took a sip of the water in my glass. He offered a small smile, nodding.

"I'll do anything to be able to give you a child."

I fully turned around and leaned on the counter, drinking some more water.

"I don't want a child unless you want it too."

"I do." He hurried to say, making his way over to him. "I want a child with you. I'm sorry I fucked it up, Emmy. I promise that we'll be parents one day, yeah?"

He kissed my forehead as he twirled a lock of my hair around his finger and tucked it behind my ear.

"From now on, it's you and I forever." He whispered. "No more running away."


	28. Chapter 28

My younger brothers turned eighteen a couple of days ago. We celebrated at home, but Charlie wasn't invited because my family basically hates him now.

I've got no idea what to do for my birthday in about two months. In the past years, I've rented a room big enough to have both my family and the Weasleys. I'm probably gonna do the same thing this year, but my family will just have to put up with Charlie being there.

I had just woken up on a Monday morning, yawning and stretching before I sat up at the same time as the door to the room opened.

"Morning." Charlie said, walking in. His voice was hoarse. More than usual. "How'd you sleep?"

I simply shrugged, my eyes following him as he walked to the window. He pushed the curtains aside, opened the window and then turned around to look at me.

"Why are you dressed?" I frowned, eyeing his outfit. He was wearing a pair of brown trousers with a dark blue jumper. He normally just wore underwear or underwear and some trousers, but he loved being shirtless around the loft.

"I'm about to leave for Romania." He said, making my heart drop as my eyes widened. "Oh, no Angel, not like that. It's just work. I can't take anymore time off."

"Oh, okay." I nodded slowly, running my hands over my tired face as I yawned again.

"I'll be back tonight, yeah?" He duck his head to try and catch my gaze. I forced a smile before I laid back down and pulled the duvet up over my shoulders. "Em, I'm not leaving you."

"I know." I muttered, closing my eyes. "Are you sure you should go, though? Your voice is hoarse. Maybe you're coming down with something."

I heard Charlie approach me, and I opened my eyes when I felt him crouch down next to the bed where my head was.

"You don't have to be nervous." He said softly, bringing a hand up to brush some hair out of my face before he brushed his knuckles over my cheekbone. "I promise you I'm not leaving."

"'M not nervous." I mumbled. Truth was that I _was_ nervous. Of course I was nervous. I would be hard for me to get to a place where I didn't get nervous every time he had to leave for something. I looked at his eyes before I turned around, turning my back to him. "Just go, Charlie. I have to be up in like an hour to open the shop. I'll see you tonight."

With a sigh, he stood up and walked back around the bed to leave the room, through he looked back at me, our eyes meeting. He broke eye contact and then closed the door, letting me go back to sleep until my alarm would go of in an hour.

When my alarm did go off, I let out a loud groan and tried turning it off but instead I accidentally smacked it, hitting both my hand while sending the alarm clock to the floor.

"Fuck!" I cursed as I slowly sat up. I sighed and slowly got out of bed. After I put my alarm clock back, I got dressed in some black trousers, a white shirt that I tucked in, and a white blazer. I brushed through my hair and put it into a lower ponytail. I didn't bother with any makeup today so after getting some breakfast, I went down to open the shop.

I walked around, moving around some books before I went and got the new order to restock them. When I walked back out into the shop, Valencia and Calypso were here.

"Where is he?" Cal asked. "Is he up there right now? Leaned back on the sofa, his feet kicked up while you work? Or maybe he's plotting something to break your heart again."

I sighed, looking at her as I placed my hands on my hips.

"He's in Romania for work." I said. "He'll be home tonight but you're not going to confront him about anything, alright? We're going to figure it out on our own and he's already been punched by his older brother."

"Who? Bill?" Valencia asked, making her way to the back room to hang her coat.

_He only has one older brother._

"I _did_ say older, didn't I?" I asked. "Bill is his only older brother."

"Well, I'm very sorry." She scoffed, rolling her eyes. "Why're you in such a mood? I thought you were happy that the idiot came back."

"Can you stop?!" I accidentally raised my voice at her which made both of my sisters freeze to look at me. They then exchanged a glance before both going quiet. I never yelled at my sibling— only my younger brothers because they were little assholes, but right now I didn't want to hear my family talk about Charlie in that way.

I get he left and I know better than anyone the damage he did, but I also know he regrets it and want to be better and make it up to me. He can't do it if there're constantly people dragging him and our relationship down.

"I'm sorry." I breathed. Val nodded but didn't say anything. "I'll be in my office. I have some paperwork I need to get finished before the day ends."

I walked through the door to the hallway in the back, and walked down to my office. I closed the door behind me, sighing deeply before I took off my blazer and threw it over my chair. I sat down and leaned back, closing my eyes.

Charlie gave me a real scare this morning when he told me he was leaving, and that made me realise just how fragile I've become. I don't like being fragile — I don't like that I've become an easy target for heartbreak.

_Right... paperwork._

I pulled out a drawer of my desk. I first found my glasses, put them on before I pulled out the stack of paperwork that I had to fill out about the shop and company's income. It was the end of the month and I wanted them done today so I didn't have to worry about them anymore.

About an hour into reading through the paperwork while also taking breaks to gather my thoughts and refocus, there was a knock at my door, followed my Valencia showing up.

"Can I come in for a minute?" She asked. "I just want to talk."

I nodded and watched her as she closed the door behind her before taking a seat on the opposite side of my desk.

"Listen— I didn't mean to be disrespectful towards Charlie." She told me. "But I remember being twelve years old and seeing my seventeen-year-old sister falling in love with this cute ginger who was obsessed with dragons. I remember how happy you were and I mean— I kinda grew up around him because you've been together since you were seventeen and he was eighteen. But Em, I also remember seeing your heart break when he left. I remember the first family gathering after he left. We were all home and no one knew he had left so when he was mentioned, you broke into tears and you didn't stop. You were _so_ broken so I'm sorry, but hearing you say you've taken him back so easily after he's returned... I just don't want you to do something you'll regret because he's hurt you once so he can hurt you again."

I ran a few fingers over my lips, looking at her as my brain processed the words she just threw at me.

"Val." I sighed, throwing my head back as I closed my eyes out of pure exhaustion. "I love him."

"I know."

I looked at her again to see her nod.

"And I know he's a good guy, but he made a horrible mistake that costed you a lot." She said. "Just think about it. You need to be sure that giving him a second chance is the right decision."


	29. Chapter 29

When I got off work and I closed up the shop, I went up to the loft and took a shower, seeing as I didn't have energy to take one this morning like I usual do.

Today hadn't been a good day. Why? Well, maybe it's because I've walked around, worrying that Charlie may not come home or that he'll come home, figure out he made a mistake when he came back, and then pack his things and leave again. Or maybe I was simply having a bad day because of the nightmare I had right before waking up this morning.

It wasn't as bad as usual. It wasn't about the war. It was me being chased through the dark forest by Hogwarts by a black shadow with no face.

When I left the bathroom, I had a towel in my hand that I was using to dry my hair. My eyes landed on the person sitting on the table in the kitchen, eyes closed and breathing quite heavily.

"Charlie?" I questioned as I used the towel to wrap around my naked body. He opened his eyes and looked at me, sending me a weak smile, and that's when I saw the long slash on his forearm. Blood was running down his arm, dripping onto both the floor, one of the chairs and the table. "Wha— you are bleeding on my table."

I hurried over to him, gently grabbing the arm to see how bad it was.

"You're worried about me bleeding on the table?" He laughed, studying my face as I watched the slash. It was deep, going through his flesh and muscle.

"You've always done this." I sighed, walking towards the bathroom. "I don't get why you want to work with dragons when you always get hurt."

I grabbed a clean towel from the bathroom and hurried back to Charlie. I pressed the towel to his wound, making him hiss in pain.

"Don't worry my love. I've already forgiven the dragon." He grinned cheekily at me which made me roll my eyes. "Bash gets a little aggressive but he's sweet, really."

"Bash?"

"He's a new dragon. Born a couple of months ago. He grows really fast." He explained. "I've named him Bash. He's a Romanian Longhorn."

Charlie talks about dragons like I talk about babies. I'm pretty sure he sees them as his big fire-spitting babies.

"Hold it." I said. And put pressure on it, alright? I need to find my wand so I can fix it."

Charlie took over from me, pressing the towel to the wound of my forearm.

"Babe, you can take mine." He said. "It's on the counter."

He nodded towards the kitchen counter. His wand was laying there so I decided to use that one instead of mine, seeing as I didn't really know where mine was.

"One day, you're gonna give me a stroke." I said and walked back to him. I gently took the towel and removed it, holding his arm with my left hand while holding the wand with my right. " _Ferula."_

Bandages shot out of the wand, wrapping around his forearm, and once again he hissed as they tightened around the wound.

"Did that hurt?"

"A little."

"Good."

Charlie's eyes shot up to meet mine and his lips slowly formed into a playful grin.

"You alright today darling?"

"Mhm." I hummed, looking down at the black towel that now had a darker stain on it from the blood.

"Because you seem a tad more feisty than usual." He said, ducking his head to meet my gaze. I cocked an eyebrow at him, looking at his blue eyes without moving my head. "You sure you're alright?"

I straightened up my head, clenching my jaw as I looked at him, and he narrowed his eyes at me when I ran my tongue along my top teeth.

"Get the blood cleaned off my table, my chair and my floor."

When I turned to walk towards our room to get dressed, Charlie's fingers wrapped around my wrist, gently tugging me back. My towel fell from my body, causing me to sigh while Charlie pulled me to stand between his legs, his arms wrapped around my waist.

"You're gonna get blood on me." I said but when I looked down, he had already smeared blood onto my skin, seeing as his left arm was almost covered in it and it hadn't gotten the chance to dry.

"Are you cross with me?"

"Right now I am because you're getting blood on me and I've _just_ showered."

I don't like seeing blood. Definitely not this much. It's trauma from the war, seeing all the people who had been blown up, seeing Fred bleed from his ears after the explosion killed him.

"Babe." Charlie said, planting a kiss on the side of my boob. "Love."

He planted another kiss, though now on the side of my other boob.

"Darling." He whispered before pressing a kiss to my cleavage, then looked up at me. "Talk to me. What's bothering you?"

I sighed deeply, removing my eyes from him to look out of the window in the kitchen. When I felt my bottom lip start to tremble, I bit onto it harshly, but Charlie was quick to bring a hand up, his thumb tugging on my lip to pull it out from underneath my teeth.

He always did that if he noticed I bit too hard on my lip. He didn't want me to start bleeding or hurt myself in any way.

"It's okay to be upset, Emmy. Just please talk to me so I can see if there's anything I can do." He said, brushing some of my wet hair behind my ear before he slid his hand back down and around my waist. "Did I do anything?"

"No." I said softly, trying to keep back the tears that for some reason wanted to make a big and dramatic entrance. "I get like this some days. I just think— with having a nightmare and then waking up to have you say you were leaving, making me panic before I knew it was for work, and I had so much paperwork and Val was then giving me this big speech and I'm just— it's been a long and stressful day."

When Charlie didn't say anything, I looked down at him. He untangled his arms from my waist to instead place his hands on my hips, rubbing them gently while his eyes stared into mine.

"A speech about me I suppose?"

"Yep." I breathed. "I know she was doing it because she loves me and wants me to be sure, but I just feel like they're not gonna accept it at all and in the end, that's going to be hard on you and I — our relationship."

Charlie ran his hands down to my ass, giving each cheek a squeeze while also pulling me closer. I dropped the bloody towel in my hand, causing it to fall to the floor between us before I pressed my hands to Charlie's chest, a whimper escaping my lips.

"Can I try something to get you in a better mood?" He asked. "De-stress you?"

I gave him a little nod and he smiled softly before leaning forward, placing a soft kiss onto my right nipple before he took it in his mouth, swirling his tongue around it. I let out a heavy breath, throwing my head back as my eyes closed.

Maybe this was exactly what I needed after the day I'd had.

A soft moan left my mouth and filled the room. The sensations he shot through my body from sucking on my nipple, were truly amazing.

My hand found it's way to his curls, tugging at it as he moved his lips to my other nipple, repeating the action and making me moan again.

Then as fast as he had started, he stopped, making me look at him. His pupils had dilated and I could feel how hard he was by my thigh which was pressed against his trousers.

"Bedroom." He simply said, looking up at me. His voice had dropped dramatically, suddenly being much darker and more hoarse as well.

"Excuse me?" I raised an eyebrow. "Since when are you the boss of me?"

He stood up, making me back up a little too but he still had his hands on my ass, not letting me get too far away.

His right hand came up to brush through my hair as he leaned down, his lips ghosting over my earlobe.

"We both know you secretly love it when I'm in control." He whispered, sending shivers down my spine. I inhaled sharply, and I could almost feel him smirk against my skin as he planted a kiss under my ear. "Go lie on the bed, sweetheart. I'll be back in about five minutes. I need to go get something."

He pulled back to look at me, a playful and knowing grin on his face as he let go of me at the same time.

"Alright." I breathed. "But I'm not gonna do it because you told me to. I'm doing it because I simply _want_ to."

He chuckled deeply, nodding before he tilted his head and winked at me.

"Whatever you say, angel."


	30. Chapter 30

Charlie left the loft to get something, so I decided to play with him and act like my stubborn self. I've never been stubborn until I met him at eleven years old. Then I suddenly turned into this really stubborn person around him — mostly because it gets a reaction and I love seeing his expressions.

So I put on a black lace thong and a matching bra before getting into bed, crawling under the duvet, having it pulled up over my shoulder while lying on my stomach to pretend I'm asleep.

Five minutes turned into ten minutes before I heard the front door open, then close. I closed my eyes, hiding my smirk with my duvet.

The silence coming from him was too loud when I could feel his presence in the doorway leading to the room.

I heard him exhale deeply, followed by footsteps. He threw something on the bed, then I felt him lean down over me, a hand on either side of me, pressing into the mattress.

"Ember?" He whispered, his mouth awfully close to my ear. His lips pressed a soft kiss to under my ear before he nipped at my earlobe. "I know you're not sleeping, my love."

He tried tugging at the duvet, but I wouldn't let go, keeping my hand clutching it next to my face.

"Em, you're holding you breath." He said, this time not whispering. "You're not asleep."

_Fuck._

I let out the breath I apparently had been holding, and I heard Charlie's hoarse laugh as he nuzzled his nose against my cheek before kissing it.

"But fine." He spoke, straightening up. "If that's how you wanna play this — I'll simply... play along."

I heard the floor creak as he made his way to the end of the bed, and when I felt him lift the duvet by my feet, my eyes shot open and I quickly turned around on my back, seeing him disappear under the duvet.

"That got you awake." He chuckled, his hands grabbing the flesh of my thighs to pry them apart. Then he ripped away the duvet, sitting up on his knees to look at me with a frown. "You put on underwear."

I hummed in response, eyeing his arm that was wrapped with bandages while his skin was stained with blood.

"Why'd you put on underwear?"

"Well— isn't that what you do after a shower?" I asked. "You get dressed. Sometimes you go to bed."

Charlie slowly leaned down, pressing a hand to the mattress next to my head while his hand came up to run along the lines of the left cup in my bra.

"At almost six in the evening?" He asked, his smirking down at me . "And in a bra? You don't sleep in your bra."

He kissed my lips softly, humming in satisfaction against me. He dragged his lips along my jawline, planting kisses all the way to my chin before he went back up to my ear.

"Can I fuck you?" He whispered. He ran his hands down to the back of my thighs, lifting them up to wrap around his hips while he thrusted his hips against mine.

I bit my lip to stop myself from making a sound but when he moved his lips to my pulse point and sucked on my skin, I couldn't stop a single moan from rushing from my lips.

"You can do whatever the fuck you want." I said in a whisper, closing my eyes as I tilted my head to give him more access to my neck.

"Is that so?" He asked, pulling back before moving off the bed. I propped myself up on my elbows, watching him walk to the closet where we stored our more formal clothing.

"Whisky, what are you doing?"

When he didn't respond, I sighed and looked at what he had thrown on the bed a moment earlier. A pack of condoms. I sat up straight, picking up the pack to look at it.

_Find more fun inside_   
_Love sex_   
_Durex_   
_Turn up the heat_   
_Pleasure me condoms_

I snickered at the words on the front of the box, making Charlie turn to look at me with a cocked eyebrow and a questioning look.

"What's so funny?"

" _Pleasure me condoms."_ I mocked with a laugh. "That's funny. You gotta admit it sounds funny."

My eyes landed on the tie he was holding, and I watched as he walked back towards me.

"I bought those especially for you." He said. " _Ribbed and dotted for extra stimulation."_

He flashed a smile and I chuckled at his own attempt at mocking the words on the package.

"Wrists." Charlie ordered me, making me look at him. He was holding the tie and when I looked up at his face, he was watching me to see what I was gonna do.

"Gonna tie me up, eh?" I asked, throwing the condoms on the bed before I held out my wrists. "Well— tie me up _dragon boy."_

"Dragon boy." He scoffed, wrapping the tie around my wrists, tying it before then pulling it over my head to tie it to the headboard.

"Or should I say; dragon _lover?"_ I grinned. Charlie rolled his eyes at me and walked to the end of my feet where he got onto the bed, fully pushing away the duvet.

"Do you really think it's a good idea to act all cocky with me right now?" He asked. "Seeing as your movements are... _restricted?"_

I narrowed my eyes at him as he pulled his blood stained shirt off his torso and threw it on the floor.

"I've still got a pair of legs." I told him, placing my bare foot against his bare chest when he started moving closer to my face. He grinned, stopping his actions to look at me. Then he wrapped his hand around my ankle and moved my leg up over his shoulder.

He planted a kiss on my calf before trailing more kisses up my leg, past my knee and up my thigh.

His blue eyes stayed on my green ones and I almost moaned at how intense the eye contact was along with how faint the kisses were, almost so faint that it tickled my skin.

"It's almost like you want to kill me." I breathed, closing my eyes when he reached so high up my thigh that he almost touched right where I needed him.

I moaned softly and arched my back, causing Charlie to pull back. I then groaned in response, trying to kick out after him which made him laugh while getting off the bed.

"I told you I'll get you to relax." He said, walking to the closet. "And what better way is there than making sure you have an orgasm with heightened senses?"

_I know where this is going._

"First you tie me up, now you wanna blindfold me?" I asked and tutted at him as I shook my head. Charlie walked back to me with the black silk blindfold in his hand, made specifically for sex.

Yes, we've done this before. I didn't lose my virginity to Charlie but he lost his to me and throughout the years, we did a lot of experimenting with what we like so now we're experienced when it comes to each other's bodies.

My eyes stayed on his way as he placed a knee next to me on the bed, slowly placing the blindfold over my eyes, tying it in a knot behind my head.

He ran his hand to the side of my neck, his lips coming in contact with mine, kissing me but only for a few seconds before he pulled away, making me sigh.

"Charlie." I whined, arching my back again while trying to find him with my feet, though I couldn't track him down. All I could hear was his breathing and the floor creak as he walked.

My body jolted with surprise when I then felt his hands wrap around my calves, spreading my legs as he moved in between them.

I felt his hands run up my bare stomach, squeezing my boobs through my bra as he planted a kiss below my belly button.

This was the worst thing about Charlie. When he decided to take his _sweet_ time, when I just needed him to hurry up and do _something_ before I explode.

I love the boy, but torturing me sexually seemed to be his favourite thing ever. He had always done it — especially when he was in a good mood.

Charlie's hands ran back down, and I sighed in relief when he grabbed the hem of my underwear.

I automatically lifted my ass off the bed, letting him slide my underwear off of my legs, then he settled between them again.

He was being awfully quiet. This was another thing he did when he had me tied up and blindfolded. He'd go quiet on me so I had no idea what to expect or when to expect it.

"Char— _fuck."_ I cursed into the air as I felt his lips brush over my inner thigh. I lifted my hips, trying to get him where I needed him, but in response, he placed one arm across my hips, pinning me down against the bed while his other arm lifted my right leg, moving it over his shoulder. He kept his arm around my thigh, dragging my body a little closer to him.

Hot air was blown directly onto my core. A moan got stuck in my throat as goosebumps rose on the skin of my thighs and my arms.

Charlie's deep laugh filled the room at my reaction. Then I felt him there. He planted one kiss directly onto my heat before dragging his tongue flat up my core, torturing me.

My breathing had suddenly changed, becoming much heavier, while my hands closed into fists around the tie. I tried bucking my hips against his face again, but his arm that held me down, was way too strong.

 _"Please."_ I begged, digging my heal into his back. He followed my plea and I moaned loudly when he dove in, starting off by sucking on my clit and twirling his tongue around it.

I threw my head back against the pillow, my mouth opening in pleasure. My hands only clenched harder around the tie until my muscles were almost hurting.

Charlie nipped at my clit, then let go of it with a satisfied hum. "Taste delicious like always my darling."

His nails dug into the skin of my thigh, the pain from it mixing perfectly with the pleasure that was shooting through my body when he dove back in. He ran his tongue through my folds, licking up all of my juices.

My moans filled the room, mixing with the slurping sounds coming from between my legs.

My entire body was on fire, fighting against the sensations that he was sending through me. Every time he went down on me, it was like feeling it all for the first time. That was genuinely how the sex was, though more experienced because our first time was kinda awkward since we had to figure out what we each liked.

As Charlie laid between my legs, I automatically moved my other leg over his shoulder, capturing his head perfectly between my thighs.

He'd keep changing between licking, nipping, biting, sucking and blowing. It felt amazing — _overwhelming_ and the fact that I was blindfolded, my only senses being feeling and hearing, made it so much better.

His nose pressed to my clit as his mouth and worked on my lips and my entrance. If my hands had been free, I had grabbed his hair, knowing he liked that, but this son of a bitch decided that I shouldn't be able to touch him.

_What if I choke him to death with my thighs?_

Nope. Not the moment.

"Oh— f-fuck." I stuttered, squinting my eyes closed underneath the blindfold as I felt my orgasm approach like a wave on the ocean. "Cha-Charlie. _Fuck._ Right there— _p-please."_

He went faster with his lips and his tongue, doing everything in his power to get me to the edge, then just as I was about to come, he pulled away, making me whine. I tried to kick him in annoyance, but he grabbed a hold of both of my legs, pinning them against the mattress.

I gulped harshly, letting myself calm down for a minute while I felt Charlie move off the bed.

"I'm gonna get you back for that someday." I said. My voice was fragile and horse but that was simply a sign of how aroused I was.

"I don't doubt that." I heard his chuckle right next to my face, making my body jump. His chuckle turned into a laugh and I felt him press a kiss to my temple before he again disappeared.

"What're you doing right now?" I asked. "Where are you?"

"I'm right here, angel." His voice came from the other side of me. "Y'know, fucking you with both of us stained from blood — that's going to be _really_ hot."

I scoffed.

"If you're _that_ into blood, why don't you go get a knife and cut into me, eh?"

He laughed again. He always did that when I got annoyed during sex. Not my fault that he gets me to the edge of an orgasm, then don't give it to me.

"I would never hurt you like that." He said. "Your body is way too beautiful for that."

I heard the sound of the pack of condoms being opened, then the sound of them being poured onto the bed.

"It's not like my body is empty of scars." I said, referring to the big one on my stomach and the other few ones on my torso, arms and legs that I had managed to get from the battle of Hogwarts.

Once again, I heard him get off the bed and I waited patiently while I heard him get rid of his trousers and hopefully also his briefs.

I heard the foil package being ripped open and the thought of him putting on the condom, almost made my mouth drool.

I felt him settle between my legs again and he leaned down over my body, placing a hand next to me.

Next thing, the blindfold was being yanked down to hang loosely around my neck. I blinked a few times, squinting my eyes to get used to the sudden light,

Charlie was hovering over me, smirking down at me. "Well hello there beautiful."

He kissed me softly, slowly and passionately and I broke the kiss when he then lined himself up with my entrance, pushing in.

I tugged at the tie, my hands clenched around it while I moaned softly. He slowly filled me up, stretching me completely. The rills in the condom definitely _did_ add to the pleasure. It was like they were massaging my walls, causing me to turn into a complete mess.

A _moaning_ mess.

Charlie was now breathing heavily as well, slowly pulling out to thrust into me so hard that my entire body jolted towards the headboard.

"Christ." He groaned. He pulled out again and thrusted into me just as hard, making us both grunt. He connected his lips with mine, kissing me deeply while he started to find a steady pace.

Steady, but fast.

Our moans mixed against each other's lips, our tongues playing together. I wrapped my legs around his hips, urging him to go deeper, by digging my heels into his cheeks.

"Fuck." He grunted, breaking the kiss to hide his face in the crook of my neck, kissing and sucking on my skin. "You feel so good, my angel."

I simply moaned in response. I was sure that if I tried to form a sentence, it would end up being inaudible or just being random words out together.

Every time he was thrusting into me, he hit the right place, making my legs weak from the sensations. The G-spot can be hard to find, but after so many years, he knows exactly where to find it and how to thrust in a way that stimulates it.

Another hard thrust before Charlie pulled out, making me look at him with a frown. He simply smiled at me through that aroused expression of his.

He gathered my legs and his eyes met mine while he moved them over one of his shoulders, thrusting right into me again. I gasped at the sensation — him suddenly being much deeper due to the new position. I threw my head back against the pillow, my eyes rolling back into my skull when he kept speeding up the pace, hitting me all the way at the other end of my vagina.

While I had my head tilted back, my moans drowning out his, he placed a hand against my pelvis, his thumb coming in contact with my clit, rubbing it to stimulate it at the same time as he was fucking the life out of me.

"That feel good, eh?" He asked through a heavy breath. After a few more runs with his thumb, he ran his hand up my stomach and squeezed my left boob on the way before he leaned forward and wrapped his fingers around my throat. "You've got no idea how beautiful you look right now."

His other hand held onto my legs, keeping them over his shoulder as he used all of his force on thrusting into me.

My orgasm was already building up again, the feeling of him choking me while thrusting like there was no tomorrow, sending me closer and closer to the edge. My eyes remained closed, my lips parted and moans leaving them.

I could feel my walls start to clench around him at the same time as I could feel him twitch inside of me. He slowed down, his thrusts turning into slow dragging before slamming back inside.

When I came, I almost screamed from the intensity of the pleasure. My legs shook violently, my chest rising and falling. Charlie came right after me, grunting at the feeling as he filled the condom. I felt him twitch inside of me one last time before he pulled out.

My mind was foggy, my breathing heavy and my mouth dry as Charlie carefully put my legs down. The first thing he then did was to undo the tie around my wrists.

When I could use my hands, I opened my eyes slightly to see Charlie hover over me to completely undo the tie from the headboard.

I ran a hand into his hair, making him look at me. I pulled him down, kissing him deeply for a few seconds before breaking it again with a pant.

"Fuck." I whispered. "You and your dumb magic penis."


	31. Chapter 31

I grunted out of the pain that shot through my legs as I tried to get up from the bed. While I relaxed after the orgasm I had, Charlie went out to make himself some tea but now he was watching me struggle with a self-satisfied smirk on his lips.

He tried to hide the smirk with the cup in his hand but I could tell it was there.

_Cheeky bugger._

"Do you need help?"

"No!" I protested, looking up at him before I fell to the floor with an _'oof'_ sound leaving my mouth, followed by Charlie laughing. "Stop laughing at me!"

He kept smirking as he took another sip of his tea. He then pushed himself off the doorframe, placed the cup on the dresser before he approached me.

He reached down to wrap his arm around my waist, and I sighed as I let him help me back up on the bed.

"I'm gonna cook us dinner." Charlie told me, walking back to the dresser. He found a pair of knickers for me and I struggled with getting them on, but eventually I did.

"Why do you suddenly cook so much?" I asked. "You never did before."

"Can't I spoil my girlfriend from time to time?" He asked and looked down at me with his hands shoved into the pockets of his trousers.

I looked at his arm. It was stained with dry blood. He really needed to clean that up.

"You need to stop doing that." I said as I looked up at him. "You need to stop with the guilt. We can't move on if you keep acting on it. That's not the way to get back to normal."

Charlie sighed and stepped closer to me, bringing his hands up to cup my face. He tilted my head back, my eyes meeting his.

"How do you want me to act?" He asked. "I'm genuinely curious, because how am I supposed to let go of the guilt when I'm constantly reminded every time I go to sleep on the sofa or when I can't be in the shop anymore because your sisters are there and you don't want them to yell at me."

I placed my hands on top of his, giving them a squeeze.

"That's not on me." I said, trying to stay calm because I knew this could easily turn into a fight.

"I'm aware of that." He breathed heavily, walking towards the door. "It's on me. That's why I'm trying to make things right."

"By cooking dinner?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. "I appreciate that but—"

"But what, Ember?!" He raised his voice as he turned around to look at me. "All I said was that I was going to cook us dinner and then you go and make it so much deeper than it has to be!"

I took a deep breath, clenching my jaw. Every time he yelled or raised his voice, I automatically wanted to do the same, but right now I was trying to stay calm.

"Okay." I said before I looked at him again. "You're right. That one's on me. I'm sorry."

I looked down at my hands, fidgeting with them for a moment before I stood up and walked to the dresser to get dressed. I found a pair of shorts and pulled them on before I walked out into the bathroom, Charlie following me.

I stopped and turned towards him, pressing a hand to his chest.

"What are you doing?" I asked. "Are you gonna watch me pee or something?"

He sighed and held his hands up surrender before backing up.

"We're not finished talking."

"What more is there to talk about?" I asked. "I swear you just want to pick a fight."

I slammed the door in his face, locking it. I did my business and after washing and drying my hands, I placed myself in front of the mirror.

Charlie had left some blood stained on my stomach. Once I got it washed off, I left the bathroom, only to see Charlie in the kitchen, already cooking something.

"Are you not gonna wear a shirt?" He asked and looked at me. I was only wearing my shorts and a bra.

"Why?" I frowned. "Are my boobs _distracting_ you? You're wearing _less_ on your torso than I am right now."

"I wasn't complaining." He rolled his eyes while I walked over to sit by the table. "When can I move into the bedroom again?"

_Wasn't expecting that question._

"I'm tired of sleeping on the sofa and honestly it makes my back hurt." He said. "I want to be able to share a bed with you again."

I bit my lip as I watched his back muscles as he cooked something that was starting to look delicious.

"Ember?"

"I don't know." I sighed. "I don't know what to say. If I say no, you'll get mad and if I say yes, I'm gonna regret it because—"

"Because of what?" He asked, cutting me off like he always did when he was annoyed. "Because you can't use me for anything but sex?"

_What?_

I started laughing at his offensive comment, but once I saw his face and realised he was being serious, I stood up as my grimace dropped.

"What did you just say?"

"You heard me." He pressed. "You want me to _fuck_ you, but when that's over, you can't trust me because I made a mistake."

"A _mistake?"_ I scoffed. "You left me for six months, Charlie. _Six._ What do you expect me to do? Welcome you with open arms? Tell you how much I love you and that I'll do _anything_ for you? Of course I'm not gonna do that. You know me. Screw me over and you _really_ have to work for me to trust you again."

"But you trust me well enough to have sex with me?" He asked, stepping closer to me.

_Why is he being like this?_

"You're right." I said. "I'm sorry. We won't have sex again. My vagina will stay _far_ away from your dick."

I walked past him but he grabbed my wrist. I turned around, my hand coming up to slap him, though I quickly realised what was happening and I stopped myself before my hand came in contact with his cheek.

_You do not hit your partner._

"I'm sorry." He sighed. "I just miss how we used to be."

"So do I!" I raised my voice. "But you're the one who ruined it so don't take it out on me!"

"Em—"

"My heart _shattered_ the day you left me!" I continued as my voice broke and tears formed in my eyes. "You took every piece of me with you when you left. I have _never_ been on my own before and I may sound fucking pathetic that I am the complete opposite of independent but I've relied on you since we were eleven. So _fuck_ you for speaking to me in that way. No, you know what? Just fuck you in general."

"Em—" he tried again but I cut him off once again.

"You said you'd do _anything_ to regain my trust." I said. "But when it takes a little longer than you'd like, you just decide to act like an asshole towards me?"

"Ember can you just—"

"No!" I yelled and ripped my arm from his grip. "You are lucky that I'm letting you stay here."

"Letting me stay?" He questioned. "This is _our_ home."

I let out a laugh, shaking my head while I took a step back.

" _I_ bought this loft, _not_ you!" I said. "This is _my_ flat you arrogant piece of shit! If you are _so_ unhappy with how things are going, you can fuck off and move out! See if I care."


	32. Chapter 32

"Babe?" Charlie's voice filled the room as he entered through the door. "Angel, you asleep?"

"Piss off." I muttered into my pillow. I went to bed early, cried myself to sleep and kept waking up throughout the night.

Why did love have to be so hard? I honestly wish I could just forget everything that had happened and trust him again, but it was hard and he apparently didn't understand that.

He didn't say anything else, but I knew he was still in the room. I could hear his breathing.

"Ember, _please."_ He sighed. "I don't want to go to work while being on bad terms with you."

"I'll see you tonight." I simply said, snuggling up with my pillow while pulling the duvet up to over my shoulders.

"Okay." He breathed. "I'll be home at six."

I didn't answer. I heard the floor creak and his footsteps before I heard the door to the room close.

When I was sure he had left the loft, I sat up and ran my hands over my face. I then let one hand drop while the other continued into my messy hair.

"Fuck." I whispered to myself. Today was going to be a long day for me. After our fight, I didn't have much energy, but I was going to visit the Burrow today to see my second family.

They've always been my family. All the way back to when I was eleven and I met them for the first time during Christmas. Even when Charlie and I weren't together, I still saw them because they'll always be family to me.

I sat in bed for about ten minutes, trying to gather the courage to get out of bed. When I did, I headed straight for the bathroom so I could take a shower.

When I finished my shower and used the drying spell on my hair, I walked out of the bathroom and the first thing I saw was how much it was pouring down outside. It was loud and it looked violent. Good thing I was using the floo network to get to the Burrow when I had gotten ready for the day.

I got myself dressed in a white t-shirt with some light blue dungarees overalls and after brushing through my hair, I tied a matching blue banana around it, almost like a modern day Cinderella.

Well, a ginger version of Cinderella and with a very freckled face.

I did a light makeup. I wasn't really in the mood for more than that, and then I grabbed my wand on my way to the fireplace in the living room.

I pushed my wand into my pocket before I grabbed a handful of floo powder, then stepped into the fireplace.

_"The Burrow."_

Green fire surrounded me before I a short moment later stepped out of the fireplace and into the living room of the Burrow.

Ginny who sat on the sofa, jumped up with a shriek while she embraced me in a tight hug. I smiled as I hugged her back.

"Mum!" She called through the house after pulling back. "Ember's here!"

Ginny looked at me again, then looked me up and down.

"You look good. You haven't been around for a while — mum says a few months." She said. "Is everything alright?"

"Oh, everything is fine." I smiled. "Why wouldn't it be?"

Ginny wrapped her arms around herself as she smiled weakly. "The whole thing with Charlie. The last time I saw you, you still looked so crushed about it, but now you look a lot happier. Tired — but happier."

Oh...

We completely forgot to tell Charlie's family that he was back. Apparently Bill and George hadn't said anything.

I parted my lips to say something, but didn't know what to say. Luckily for me, Molly came rushing down the stairs with a smile.

"Ember, dear!" She greeted me in a hug. She then pulled back with her familiar and warm smile as she cupped my face. "Look at you. You're glowing."

I thought today would be hard, but being back at the Burrow actually made me feel so much better after the fight with Charlie last night.

"It's good seeing you Molly." I smiled. "It's good to be back too. I've been hid away in my loft and the shop for way too long."

"Oh well— it's good to see you out then." She smiled. "Do you want some tea before we catch up?"

"That would be lovely, thank you Molly."

"Ginny?" Molly asked as she looked to her daughter.

"No thanks, mum." Ginny responded. "I'm gonna show Ember my wedding dress."

As Molly went into the kitchen, Ginny grabbed my hand and led me up the stairs until we reached her bedroom.

"It's so beautiful." She told me while we walked inside her room. "George paid for it. I told him no because it's _his_ money that he earned himself from the shop, but he insisted. He said Fred would've agreed and that I would let him down by saying no."

Ginny pulled out a dress from her closet, packed in a see-through bag.

"He loves using Freddie to get his way." Ginny said with a small smile as she shook her head. She handed me the dress and I watched it while holding it in front of me.

"It's beautiful." I said. "I bet you look really gorgeous in it."

"Well, I'd like to think so." She said. "You'll see it at the wedding. You _are_ coming to the wedding, aren't you? I'm on Charlie's going to be there but I hope that won't make you stay away."

I looked at her as she spoke and smiled weakly as I handed her back the dress. She put it in the closet before she turned to me again with a questioning look.

"Of course I'll be there at your wedding." I smiled. "I actually have something I need to say."

"Oh?" She questioned. "Don't tell me you're getting married. You haven't mentioned anyone and it has barely been seven months since—"

She stopped herself by chewing on her lip. I chuckled softly, shaking my head.

"Charlie came back." I said. "At the start of the month."

"Oh, did he now?" She asked, folding her arms over her chest as she looked at me with both brows raised. "I hope you kicked him in the balls real hard."

"Uh— you see... at first I was really angry. I still am and we just had a fight about the whole thing last night, but we're doing couples counselling and working to get through it."

Ginny unfolded her arms with a sigh.

"I mean— if you can work it out, that'll be great." She said. "Just be careful. Charlie may be my brother but you're like a sister to me and I love you just as much."


	33. Chapter 33

I got home later that night, after a wonderful day with the Weasleys. I drank tea with Molly and Bill and Fleur actually joined us too. They had been outside, talking to Harry who was staying there until he and Ginny found their own place.

Around six, I ate dinner with Molly, Arthur, Bill, Fleur, Harry and Ginny. Ron wasn't there, neither was Hermione. They recently bought a house not far from here London after Hermione graduated this month. They could afford it due to Ron's job as an Auror.

When I stepped out of the fireplace in my own loft, Charlie was sitting on the sofa. It was around eight at night so he would've been home for two hours.

He looked like he was crying silently, and when I noticed the book in his hands, I noticed why. Charlie looked up at me when he saw the green flames from the fireplace, and immediately he stood up, hiding the book behind his back as he wiped his cheeks with the other.

"Why do you have that?" I asked. "Charlie, give that back... _right_ now."

"It's almost full." He said, trying to stop his crying. "You've filled almost every page in it."

"Charlie!"

I lunged forward to grab the book, but he moved it further away from me while stepping back.

"Eleven weeks?" He asked. "That's how far along you were? That's how long you had to tell me you were pregnant."

My face dropped for a moment before I frowned at him, stopping in my tracks.

"Are you serious?" I asked. "You are not about to blame me."

"Eleven weeks, Ember!"

"Oh my god!" I laughed, bringing my hands up to my hair. I ripped the bandana out of it, holding it my hand while I walked to the room, shaking my head at him.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He asked and followed me. "You could have told me, Em."

"How?!" I screamed, turning towards him in one quick turn. "Tell me how?! I was taking care of you, Charles. Every day, I went to work, I earned the money while you were on temporary leave so you could grief your brother! How could I possibly tell you that I was gonna bring a new human into this world — the same world that took away Fred? The same person that took away Tonks!"

I immediately stopped talking. That was the first time since the war that I had mentioned Tonks. She was my best female friend in school and after. Losing her was as hard as losing Fred.

The only difference being that I haven't talked about her since and if anyone mentions her, I just shut up. I haven't seen her son either. He lives with Tonks' mother. The last time I saw him, was before the war when he was about a month old. Now he's almost fifteen months old — probably walking by now.

"I don't want to fight with you again." I said. "Give me my book. You had no right taking it or reading it. You obviously went through my stuff."

Surprisingly, he did what I told him to and handed me back my books. I looked at it for a moment, running a hand over it before I looked at Charlie again.

"I was looking for some parchment." He said. "I ran out and I knew you had some. I didn't mean to find it but then I got curious—"

"Oh, you got curious?" I asked. "So you thought it was a good idea— no... you though it was okay to read my diary?"

"It's not exactly a diary." He huffed. "You're writing— it's almost like letters to me that you don't plan to send."

"That was the fucking purpose!" I yelled. "Because I was so fucking broken and needed something to relieve the pain!"

_I need a drink._

"You're unbelievable." I breathed and walked over to the desk to put away the book. "I would _never_ read _your_ shit without your permission."

"I know." I heard him say. "Babe— I just thought it could give me an insight. I have no idea what you're thinking half the time and you're giving me all these mixed signals."

I closed the drawer and turned around to look at him, leaning against the desk.

"I'm sorry." I breathed. "I don't mean to send mixed signals but you're not the only one who's confused. Half the time I wanna kiss you but the other half I want to kill you for what you did. I love you but I'm so fucking angry with you."

Charlie slowly walked over to me, placing himself right in front of me. He leaned down to my level, placing a hand on the desk on either side of my body, locking me in place.

"I'm sorry I read it." He said. "And I'm sorry about the things I said yesterday and also now about the pregnancy."

"It always comes down to that." I sighed. "It's nice that we're both able to apologise but what happens then, huh? We just go on and act like this loving couple until the next time we fight? Then we apologise again and it just ends up being this evil circle."

His right hand came up to grasp my jaw, his eyes staring at my lips as he rested his forehead against mine.

"I know." He whispered, nuzzling his nose against my cheek. "But I really _am_ sorry, my darling. About everything. I didn't know I hurt you _that_ badly before I read your feelings."

"No, it's not like I told you about a million times after you returned." I said. "Told you how hurt I was. Told you how broken I was. I had and still _have_ nightmares about the war but the only difference from the ones before you left, is that in these... you're the one who died and not Fred. I'm sorry I've been sending you mixed signals but it's only because I have mixed feelings towards all of this."

I placed my hands on his, forcing them off of the desk before I gently pushed him away, then I myself moved away from the desk so he couldn't pin me against it again.

"That's why we're in couple counseling." I said. "Because we have no clue what we're doing. We don't know how to get through this and we _can't_ get through it. Not without help."

"Babe we don't need help!" He raised his voice. "How is a stranger supposed to do shit to help? She doesn't know us. Doesn't know our backstory. All we need is—"

He took a deep breath.

"We just need to communicate better."

"That's not gonna work." I sighed. "That always seems to be the solution, doesn't it? _Just communicate better._ Maybe what we need is a fresh start."

Charlie frowned at me as he stepped closer to me. He ran his hands up through his hair before resting them on the back of his head, his biceps showing.

"A fresh start?" He asked with a shrug. "What? Want me to move out? Is that what you want?"

I sighed again.

"So let me get this straight — you are angry at me — and with good reason may I add — for leaving you for six months." He said. "But _now—_ now you want me to leave?"

"I don't want you to leave."

He let out a cackle. He kept his arms on the back of his head. It was like he knew what he was doing. His biceps looked big and I could see the skin of his lower abdomen because of the shirt that had ridden up, along with the trail of hair from under his belly button, leading downwards.

"You want a fresh start."

"And you automatically thing that means I want you to leave?"

"What else is it supposed to mean?!" He yelled, letting his hands drop. I flinched at how suddenly his voice raised along with the sudden action of his hands. Charlie saw my reaction. He frowned and after just watching each other for a moment, he started tearing up. "Ember what the hell?"

I slowly wrapped my arms around myself and my eyes dropped to the floor.

"You're falling out of love with me." He spoke, his voice soft and fragile, making me look back up at him.

"I'm not falling out of love with you."

"Yes you are." He nodded. "I can see it in your eyes. The way you look at me. You thought I was going to hit you."

"I didn't think that."

"You flinched, Ember." He commented, gesturing towards me. "You thought I was going to hit you. I'd never do that! You know I'd never do that. I've never laid a hand on you. _Never."_

I didn't think he was going to hit me. I was just surprised by the sudden movement.

"Charlie, I didn't think you'd—"

"I'd never hit you." He repeated. "You're everything to me. Y-You're _everything."_

"Why're you being so dramatic?" I asked. "I know you wouldn't hurt me. You just scared me with how sudden you dropped your hands, but I didn't think you were going to hit me, so just drop it, yeah?"

Charlie took a deep breath. His eyes never left my face as I walked over to sit on the middle of the bed.

"Where were you today?" He asked in a calm and steady tone, completely changing the topic. "You didn't say you were going anywhere, you weren't home when I got off work and you got home at half past eight."

"At the Burrow." I said. "Your mum invited me a couple of days ago. Ginny showed me her dress, I got to tease Harry about his scar and I got to talk to Bill and Fleur about their baby."

Charlie nodded slowly and folded his arms over his chest. His eyes flicked to the floor. His jaw was tense and I noticed how he gulped harshly.

"You didn't tell me mum had invited you."

I shrugged.

"Guess I didn't think about it."


	34. Chapter 34

The next couple of days were weird — tense. Charlie and I hadn't talked much, and when we did, we'd bicker.

I was so tired. I just wanted to relax for once, take a nap without nightmares, seeing as they get stronger when I'm not well mentally. I wanted to be able to sleep peacefully, not wake up and crave alcohol every night.

We just came from an appointment with doctor Vixen and Charlie was going on and on about how much he doesn't like the sessions or doctor Vixen for that sake.

I wasn't really listening. I was tired, hadn't been sleeping well, hadn't eaten much because I didn't have an appetite due to the amount of nightmares I had experienced in the last couple of days, multiple times throughout the night.

I sat down on the sofa in the living room, leaned back with my eyes closed and my hands resting next to me, Charlie's voice ranting on in the background.

We had told doctor Vixen about our fighting. She told us we couldn't have anymore sex until we had figured this out — our relationship. And or course Charlie is mad about that even though he got mad at me for _"using"_ him for sex.

"Ember!" Charlie snapped when he noticed I wasn't listening to him. I hummed in response. I felt so drained of energy. All I wanted to do was get some sleep but every time I had tried to go to bed for the night or take a nap after a long day of work, I'd just have a nightmare and it scared the living shit out of me. "Ember—"

"What?" I cut him off, looking at him. "Who's sending the mixed signals now? You were pissed at me for having sex with you but not trusting you when it was over... now you're pissed at doctor Vixen for saying no more sex."

"Well, it's not up to her!" He raised his voice, making me sigh as I looked into the fireplace. "Why should she get to tell us what we can or cannot do? It's _sex_ for fuck sake."

I took a deep breath as I ran a hand over my face and into my hair.

"Yeah, and it's not like you'll survive not having sex until she clears us." I said, my voice full of sarcasm. "I'm gonna assume you didn't have sex for the six months where you lived in Romania."

I looked at him again. Charlie rolled his eyes and walked to the kitchen. He opened the cupboard where we usually stored alcohol, but he closed it when he realised there weren't any.

"Do you even _want_ to move on?" He asked and looked at me. "Because you keep bringing it up. You know how terrible I feel about it."

"Can you please stop doing that?" I asked. "I have every right bringing it up."

I got up from the sofa and started walking into the kitchen. "Can't you see what's happening? This is starting to turn toxic."

Charlie scoffed as he found a glass and started filling it with water.

"I don't do toxic."

At the sound of my voice and the words that left my mouth, he turned around and leaned against the counter.

"So what? You're gonna give up, leave?"

_Oh my god._

"Will you _stop_ putting words in my mouth?" I asked. As I finished my sentence, I suddenly felt dizzy, and I quickly grabbed onto the table to lean against it. I closed my eyes and waited until the feeling was gone before I looked at Charlie again. "I want us to work out. I've known you for fifteen years and we've been together for eight of those. I love you with my entire heart and I will _always_ be there to back you up so no— I am not going to just give up and leave. Plus, if anyone were to leave, it would be you, seeing as this is _my_ loft that _I_ paid for."

I watched my boyfriend as he scoffed, running a hand over his exhausted face.

"You may have paid for it, but it's home for the both of us. You said that once. It's just as much my home as it is yours. The same goes for the flat _I_ bought in Romania."

"Oh, the one you sold?" I asked. "Don't you think that if it truly was mine just as much as yours, you should've at least asked me before you sold it?"

He didn't answer.

"Exactly. That was _your_ home, this is mine. You sold yours so now you're living here." I said.

We were both silent for a moment where I looked at Charlie while he looked at the floor as he drank his water.

"I haven't kissed you in four days." He then spoke soft and silently into the room. "I really miss kissing you."

I didn't answer.

"Em—"

"Can you just shut up?!" I snapped. " _Please._ Just shut up for a moment. You haven't stopped talking since we got home and it's just the same old complaining."

"Oh c'mon."

"You just can't do this for me, can you?" I asked. "Couples counselling. You can't put your own ego aside for me, huh?"

"Why am I not allowed to dislike counselling?" He questioned. "I've told you what I think about it but you don't seem to care about that either."

I groaned internally as I rolled my eyes at him.

"I am doing this for the both of us."

"You're—"

"I am doing it for the both of us!" I yelled. I was tired of him cutting me off and acting so offended by the counselling. " _You_ are thinking of _yourself_ when you say you don't want to do counselling but when I'm dragging the both of us there — I'm doing that for you _and_ for me."

He put the glass of water down as he clenched both of his fists on the counter. He looked at me, his jaw tense and his eyes hard, yet full of hurt.

"When did you start to fall out of love with me?"

"Oh for heaven sake!" I groaned loudly. "Would you just stop that?! I am not falling out of love with you, but even if I was, could you blame me? It is a _wonder_ how I still love you when you left me the moment I needed you the most."

I slowly made my way over to him to stand in front of him. His eyes left mine to look at the floor instead, his head slightly turned to the side.

"Charlie."

"No." He shook his head, starting to tear up. "I know that I fucked everything up. I fucking ruined it all and I know I don't deserve you anymore, but I can't live without you and the thought of you not loving me anymore — it kills me, Emmy."

I sighed and rested my forehead against his chest.

"I do love you." I whispered. "I always will. We have to work together on this. You need to cooperate with me."

I felt his arms wrap around my shoulders at the same time as I slipped my arms under his and around his back, now resting my cheek against his chest.

"Can you please just put your stubbornness aside?" I whispered, closing my eyes. "I want to spend the rest of my life with you but I can't if this is how it's going to be. It drains me mentally _and_ physically."

Charlie sighed, planting a kiss on my head before resting his chin on top of it.

"I just don't think—"

"Are you serious?" I asked and pulled away to look at him. He pressed his lips together, looking at me while dropping his arms from around me. "I was asking you nicely to lay aside your stubbornness so we can get better. Now it just seem like you don't _want_ us to get better."

He didn't say anything when I turned to walk away. I took a few steps towards our bedroom, then I felt dizzy again and had to lean on the small piece of wall at the end of the counters.

"Ember?"

I thought it would pass like it did before, but then my vision started to black out, dark dots starting to appear in front of my eyes. My mouth went dry and my breathing got a little heavier as I tried to hold onto the wall, knowing I was gonna end up losing my balance.

_"Emmy, darling what's wrong?"_

His voice sounded distant. Way too distant — almost like an echo in my ears. I was starting to sweat a little and shake as well.

Then I felt myself lose balance, and that was the last thing I remembered before anything went black.


	35. Chapter 35

When I woke up again, I was lying on the floor, on my back with Charlie by my side. He was on his knees, checking for any injuries. When he saw that my eye opened, I heard him let out a shaky breath of relief and I felt him press a hand to my jaw, turning my head to look at him.

"What happened?" I asked in a whisper, my voice small and fragile, my eyes searching for Charlie's.

"When was the last time you ate?" He asked, ignoring my question. "Or drank? Do you drink enough water? You haven't been getting much sleep either, have you?"

I breathed deeply as I brought my shaking hands up to my forehead, closing my eyes.

"I can't do this anymore." I whispered, my voice shaking as I was so close to breaking into tears. "It's too much."

"What?" He questioned softly. I removed my hands from my forehead and turned my head to look at him while I placed a flat hand to my stomach and took a deep breath.

"We can't keep doing this." I whispered. Charlie was starting to get blurry as tears were forming in my eyes. "We have been fighting _constantly_ for the past four days. It's stressing me out and I need a break from it. I need a break from _you."_

"What?" He laughed, apparently thinking I wasn't being serious. His laughter stopped quickly though and a frown took over. "You're joking."

I sobbed and shook my head as I went back to look up at the ceiling.

"Just for a few _weeks."_ I said, my voice breaking at the last word. Charlie didn't say anything. He sat down properly on the floor next to where I was laying, his eyes staring right at me.

I sat up and ran a hand over my forehead before running it into my hair.

"No." Charlie then spoke, causing me to look at him. He was shaking his head while staring at me. "I'm not leaving."

"Charlie—"

"No!" He repeated. "I told you I was staying. I am not leaving you again."

I watched him as he stood up and walked over to the counter to grab his glass of water.

"It isn't up to you!" I raised my voice slightly. "This is _my_ loft and I need you to get out so I can get a fucking break because I can't handle it anymore. I am so close to breaking and I just— I _can't."_

"Why are you doing this to me?" he asked in a whisper without looking at me.

"Don't start again." I said. "I am trying to take care of myself and I can't do that with you constantly in my ear, complaining about things I do to help us through this shit."

He walked back over to me, handing me the glass of water. He watched me as I drank every single drop of it, then handed back the glass.

"You're doing the same thing I did."

My actions froze for a moment before I slowly looked up at him, then pulled myself to my feet.

"Do not compare this to _that."_ I said. "I am not leaving you. I need a few weeks away from you because I feel so drained mentally and I need a break. What you did was _horrible_ and it wasn't for you own. You made a decision on behalf of the both of us and left for six months. There is no way that is remotely close to me wanting some space."

Charlie brought his hands up to cup my face, but I stepped back. He inhaled sharply, tearing up at my rejection.

"Darling, please don't. We both know how it's gonna go. The longer we stay away from each other, the more distance we will create."

_Oh is that so?_

"Right." I breathed. "But you _do_ realise that you were the one who created distance between us when you left? You can't do that and then later expect me to be completely fine and forgive you. You can't accuse me of wanting space either because you got _your_ space while I was hurting, and now I want mine. It's only two weeks. I'm sure you'll manage, Charles."

I turned around to walk towards the bedroom so I could get some sleep. I didn't want to risk fainting again. My head was hurting, I was bloody exhausted both mentally and physically. I just needed some rest.

"Marry me."

At the sound of Charlie's voice and the words leaving his mouth, I froze in my tracks. I just stared ahead for a while, not knowing what to do or say. Then I felt the anger boil and I turned around, walking back towards him. I went to push him in the chest, but his hands wrapped around my wrists while we looked at each other.

" _Fuck_ you." I spat.

"Marry me." He repeated. His expression was soft, so was his voice, but mine was full of anger.

"You're being toxic." I told him. "You're being toxic and you're trying to manipulate me."

"I'm not."

"Yes you are." I nodded. "That's manipulation — trying to use that against me so I won't kick you out."

I tried to get out of his grip to push him away from me, but he kept his hands around my wrists, preventing me from getting away from him.

"I want to marry you, Ember." He said. "It's not some kind of trick. It's not manipulation. I want to marry you and I've got the ring if you say yes. I want to marry you because I love you and I've always loved you."

"No." I shook my head. "You want to marry me because you think that fixes everything. Newsflash, Charles. You don't marry someone to fix the problems they have."

He sighed and let go of my wrists, watching me as I slowly backed up.

"Don't call me Charles." He said " _Please_ don't call me Charles."

"Why? Because I only say it when I'm mad at you?"

He nodded.

"And I hate it when you're mad at me." He said. I ignored him and turned around, walking into the bedroom before he could stop me. "I want to marry you, Ember!"

I continued to ignore him as I got onto the bed and laid on my stomach, hugging my pillow close. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes but when I heard Charlie enter the room, I sighed.

"I was planning on proposing before I left and I was planning on proposing before we started fighting. I'm not saying this because you're telling me to leave. I am saying this because I fucking love you and I can't live without you."

I felt the bed dip and then I felt his presence as he laid down next to me.

"I don't want to marry you." I whispered, meaning it. I turned my head to look at him. He was on his back, staring up at the ceilings and just as I looked at him, a tear rolled down his cheek but he quickly wiped it away.

"You don't want to marry me."

It didn't sound like a question. It just sounded like he was saying it to himself, like he couldn't believe what he had heard.

"Not now." I whispered. "Not for a while. Not until we're okay again."

He turned his head to look at me and my heart ached. His eyes were full of pain, full of tears as well as mine. We were both hurting.

"Just two weeks, yeah?" He whispered, moving a hand up to brush my hair out of my face. "I might be able to stay with Bill and Fleur — maybe mum and dad. Just two weeks."


	36. Chapter 36

That afternoon I fell asleep and I didn't wake up until I had a nightmare in the middle of the night. I woke up, screaming and sweating. I don't know why I expected Charlie to come into my room.

Maybe because he usually did that, but now he didn't, and when I went to check on him, he wasn't there. He had actually left like I had asked him to.

I knew I had been the one to kick him out but it still made me sad to see the sofa empty, to see most of his stuff gone.

I ended up changing into one of his shirts that he had left behind, and climbed back into bed so I could get some more sleep. Maybe with his smell surrounding me, I wouldn't have another nightmare.

When I woke up again, it was light outside and the sun was shining through my window where the curtains hadn't been closed.

It took me a while to gain the energy to get out of bed, but once I did, I pulled into a pair of shorts and immediately wrote a letter for each of my sisters to tell them I was gonna keep the shop closed today because I wasn't feeling well.

I was gonna take the letters down to the owl office, seeing as I don't own an owl. I meant to buy one years ago but I never got to it.

When I opened the door to walk out of my bedroom, Crispus was there. I sighed, causing him to look up. He was standing by the kitchen counter, looking at something, though I couldn't see what.

"Good morning sleepyhead." He smiled. "I let myself in. Hope that's alright."

"Yeah, sure." I shrugged. "How uh— how're you and Carrie?"

He turned towards me, resting a hand on the counter while resting the other on his hip.

"We're going to talk to the Ministry about adoption." He said. "We went to a clinic a few days ago and I'm the one who's infertile and I don't know if I would be able to handle her being pregnant with a donors child."

"I'm sorry to hear that." I breathed. "But hey— you get to give a home to someone who needs it."

Crispus hummed before he looked at the counter again, making my curiosity grow.

"Congratulations." My brother then said, smiling at me. "I'm sorry that we didn't seem supportive when you told us Charlie were back but if you're happy, so am I and everyone else will come around eventually."

I raised an eyebrow.

"Have you set a date?"

_What?_

"A date?" I asked and moved closer so I could see what he was looking at.

There was a black velvet box on the table, similar to the one I caught Charlie with the day I came home after helping out George.

The box was opened, placed perfectly on the counter, revealing a beautiful silver ring. It had a was a twisted banded ring with small diamonds leading up to one bigger one. It was simple, yet beautiful and it almost looked royal.

"I didn't open it, by the way." Crispus told me. "It was already open. I just have one question; why is it still in the box and not on your finger?"

I shook my head and grabbed the box, closing it.

"We're not engaged." I said, looking down at the box in my hands. "He's been planning to propose a couple of times but I— not yet. I can't do it yet."

"Okay..."

"I just— I need to know that we'll be alright before I say yes to something like that." I said.  
"Divorce is so much more complicated and I know I've been with him for most of my life but—"

"Ember." Crispus interrupted me. "It's okay. You don't need to explain anything."

I let out a breath and nodded slowly before I walked over to the shelf in the living room and placed the box on Charlie's stack of books.

"Where _is_ Charlie anyway?"

I shrugged.

"I asked him to leave." I said. "He's giving me two weeks alone. We've been fighting a lot these past days and I fainted yesterday. He's just—"

I sighed and looked down at the two letters in my other hand, then looked at Crispus.

"Can you do me a favour?" I asked. "I'm not feeling too well. I think I might take a shower and then just go back to bed. I can't open the shop today so can you please go down to the owl office and send these to Valencia and Calypso for me?"

I walked back over to Crispus who held out his hand to receive the letters from me.

"How are you not feeling well?" He asked. "Physically or mentally?"

"I don't know." I breathed. "I'm just really tired even though I just slept for over ten hours and I've got a headache so I just want to spend the day relaxing."

"Alright." Crispus frowned. "Yeah, I'll head down to the owl office with these but I'll be back and I'll make you grandma's famous smoothie."

Our mother's mum used to make these smoothies whenever one of us were sick. It could basically cure anything.

As Crispus left, I got my stuff and took that shower I wanted. Afterwards I got dressed in the same shorts and shirt before getting into bed.

I snuggled up on the side of the bed where Charlie always slept.

Was I crazy for already missing him when I was the one who told him to give me space?

I felt crazy.

I didn't want to act crazy. It's not like I _wanted_ to have space, but I knew it was what I needed and I had to take care of my needs.

When Crispus got back, I could hear him move around the kitchen and it was kinda comforting my to know my big brother was there while I wasn't feeling so good.

My head was pounding. Not so that it was unbearable but my head ached and I felt physically tired but also mentally tired.

The door to the bedroom wasn't open but not closed either. I could only look through a very small creak, seeing my brother walk around out there.

It reminded me of when I was little. Crispus always took care of everyone else. When I was eight and he was thirteen, I got this really bad case of influenza and I remember hearing his humming to the music that played in the kitchen while I laid on the sofa in the living room.

He made me the very same smoothie while mum and dad were working during the summer holidays and our other siblings were either upstairs, in the garden or being babysat.

"Ember?!" Crispus called. I heard his steps before the door to the bedroom creaked. "I'm gonna make you some breakfast as well as the smoothie. Does egg and bacon sound good?"

I opened my eyes and looked at him, yawning before I could answer.

"You don't need to do that."

"No, I do." He nodded. "You're my baby sister and you're not feeling well, so does it sound alright? Egg and bacon? I can make it scrambled."

A small smile formed on my lips and I nodded.

"It sounds good. Thank you." I said. "But Cris— I'm not your _baby_ sister. I'm almost twenty-six."

"And I'm almost thirty-one." He shrugged. "I remember mum and dad bringing you home a few days after you were born. I'll always see you like that."


	37. Chapter 37

A few days passed and I had _had_ no contact with Charlie whatsoever. I did miss him but I felt happier after the four days of constant fights. I was still tired but I figured that was from working the shop.

I had only been on my own for two days, so while I did feel a little better, I was still exhausted from the stress, my entire body and mind weak.

I hadn't actually expected Charlie to leave me alone. I expected him to write me and keep pushing my boundaries like he's done a lot lately. I was really grateful that he _did_ give me space but I still missed him.

More specifically, I missed the good times with him. The cuddling, the kisses, the affection.

Today I've been hiding away in my office. I didn't have any meetings today so I just sat here and did some financing while my sisters were working out in the front of the shop.

There was a knock at my door, making me jolt. I had been way too focused on the financing that I had drowned out everything around me.

"Come in!" I called and sat up straight in my hair, running a hand over my tired face. The door opened and I sighed when I saw Brazier stand there. "Aren't you supposed to be looking for jobs?"

He walked in and closed the door behind him before he walked over to sit on the sofa against the wall.

"That's why I'm here." He said. "I am searching but I can't exactly find anything and I'm in need of money."

He rested his elbow on the armrest and looked at me with puppy dog eyes and a pout on his lips.

"And I've got money." I breathed. "You cunning little shit."

Brazier let out a breathy laugh as he sat upright and waited for me to give in and write him a check.

I glanced towards the door, then looked at my brother again.

"I swear to god, if Romany is about to walk in, I will—"

Brazier cut me off by whistling with two fingers in his mouth. "Oi! Romany, she's onto us!"

A second later, the door opened and the other twin walked in, a shy look on his face. He closed the door behind him and took a seat next to Brazier.

"Why am I always the one you come to for money?"

"You're basically rich." Brazier scoffed. "You just choose not to use them on anything you don't need which _I_ think is ridiculous. If I were you, I'd always have bought a mansion and three cars."

"Why would you need even _one_ car?" I asked. "It's much cheaper to use the floo system or simply apparate."

Romany didn't say anything. He was more shy of the two and Brazier was the one who always ended up dragging him along to all of his plans.

"And that's your issues, Ember." Brazier explained. "You act like money is an issue for you and we all know it's not. It's not about what you _need._ It's about what you _want_ and _I_ would want a mansion and three cars."

_Why did mum and dad not stop after Amethyst?_

"I'm not going to give you any money." I said. "If anything, you _owe_ me money for ratting me out to the whole family about the pregnancy. I'd like a refund so instead of giving you anymore money, I can hire you to work for me. I need someone to take over the financing and I know you've always been great at numbers."

Brazier sighed loud and dramatically, looking at Romany before looking at me again.

"Just because I'm good at it, doesn't mean I like it." He said, raising his eyebrows to show how serious he was being.

"Just because I haven't killed you yet doesn't mean I'm not going to." I shot back. "So either you  
take this job or you'll have to find another way to pay me back those two-hundred galleons."

Brazier and I simply looked at each other, his eyes narrowed. He was trying to figure out if I was being serious, and I most definitely were.

"I say you take it." Romany said. "Pay back the money you _so_ insisted on receiving because you simply could not act as a good brother and just keep your mouth shut!"

The room went quiet. It wasn't exactly a habit for Romany to have an attitude or snap at people.

"Fine." Brazier sighed and rolled his eyes before looking at me. "I'll take the job. Do I get my own office, because I don't think I can sit in here with you complaining about your love life all the time."

I rolled my eyes.

"You can use the office down the hallway." I said and owned my bottom drawer, pulling out the set of keys that belonged to that office. I threw it at my brother. "If you lose those, I'll take it out of your pay check. You can start right away."

Brazier muttered something I didn't quite understand as he got up and left the room, letting the door close behind him.

"How about you?" I asked Romany. "Have you got a job or do you need one?"

He shrugged and folded his arms over his chest as he leaned back on the sofa.

"I might start helping Luna and her dad with the Quibbler." He said. "They work for you now, right?"

"It's more of a partnership." I said. "I've taken them on — they pay me to publish their tabloid, they do to from home, then send them to me and I edit them before I publish them. They get a share, _I_ get a share. You uh— you're gonna work with them."

Romany shrugged.

"Maybe." He sighed. "Luna and I are dating now and it seems that her dad likes me, so I think they'll accept me."

"Oh, you and Luna, huh?" I asked with a small smile. "What did Brazier have to say about that? You've both been chasing her for a while now, haven't you?"

My brother let out a small laugh as he nodded and sat up straight.

"He thinks it's unfair, but Luna says she'd been crushing on me for a while. She fell for me because I'm more kind and laidback than Brazier."

Romany stood up and walked over to my desk. He picked up the book that laid on the corner, and looked at the front of it.

"Is this your biography?"

"It's only a first copy." I shrugged. "I'm still trying to figure out the cover of it, but it looks pretty good, don't you think?"

"Yeah." He mumbled and turned it over to look at the back. "I didn't know you finished it."

"It's not completely finished. I was just trying to look at different options for the cover." I said. "I still have to add Fred to the book. George came by yesterday. Said he finally got the courage to ask everyone if I could write about Fred, his death and the person he was while alive."

I sighed as I felt myself getting emotional at the thought of Fred. He was only twenty years old. He shouldn't have died. He should have lived, he should've gotten married and had kids at one point. I knew he wanted a family when he got older.

"Are you— _crying?"_ Romany asked and gave me an odd look. I chuckled and shook my head as I wiped the few tears from my eyes.

"I'm sorry. It's been a stressful week and my feelings are all over the place due to it." I said, leaning back in my chair. "Can you do me a favour?"

He put down the book and looked at me as he shoved his hands into the pockets of his trousers.

"Charlie and I are taking a small break from each other right now because we had half a week worth of fighting and arguments." I said. "He's staying with Bill and Fleur. Could you please go make sure he's alright mentally? I know it was hard for him to have to leave when I asked him to."

"Uh— you want me to go to the shell cottage and see if Charlie is doing okay?"

"Yes." I nodded. "Just don't let him know I sent you. Act like you're there to ask for advice on uh— your relationship with Luna for an example. I want to make sure Charlie's alright without him knowing I'm worrying."

My brother laughed at my odd suggestion, but then nodded slowly and fixed the way the book laid by lining it up perfectly with the corner of the book.

"Okay— I guess I can do that."


	38. Chapter 38

**Charlie**

"You need to eat." Fleur said, pushing the bowl of Cherri Owls towards me. "You haven't eaten for two whole days."

I glanced up at her before I looked back down at my hands. I had picked at my skin for the past couple of days out of pure stress from the situation and I kept making myself bleed because I can't stop picking in the same wound.

"If he doesn't want to eat, he shouldn't have to." Bill said and grabbed the bowl from the table. "He'll just starve but it's up to him."

To say my older brother was cross with me, was an understatement. My entire family were on Ember's side and I didn't blame them.

After all I didn't tell anyone the truth to why I left. They all believe in my pathetic excuse. Maybe that's why I'm acting like such an idiot — because I wish I could tell Ember the truth.

It's easier if she hates me for leaving than if she hates her granddad for the reason behind it.

"I'll take a bath." Fleur announced. "Bill, be nice to him, alright my love? He's struggling too."

She patted Bill's shoulder before she made her way upstairs, and I glanced at my brother who took a seat across from me.

"You're an asshole."

_I'm aware._

"Ember has done nothing but love you since you were teenagers and she's even so kind to let you stay in her loft when you came back and even kinder for giving you a second chance, and then you just can't help yourself but to put up a fight because she wants couple counselling."

I raised my head and sighed as I looked at him.

"Charlie, it's _only_ couple counselling." He said. "Why can't you do it for her? If you really loved her—"

"Don't you dare." I snapped. "I love her with _everything_ I have. With every fucking fibre in my body."

"Then you _should_ be able to put your ego aside and do it for her sake. Maybe you don't believe in counselling and that's okay, but if she thinks it'll help, then do it. Don't question it, don't question her because she's simply trying to make it work and if you don't cooperate, it'll hurt her and she'll end up thinking you don't actually care about her."

That wasn't true. Ember knows I love her more than anything. Doesn't she? I've never loved anyone the way I love her. I do want what's best for her but I want to be with her at the same time.

The six months in Romania were hell for me. I know it was hell for her too, but I didn't have a choice. I had to leave her. Otherwise he would make sure Ginny lost her place with the Holyhead Harpies Quidditch Team.

The man knows how much I care for my family and I couldn't let him do that to my sister. He's got way too much power. I could've told Ember the truth about it. I could've told everyone, but I'd rather Ember hates me than her hating her own grandfather.

A few days before I left, Ember's grandfather came to talk to me at my job in Romania. He told me I was ruining Ember because she had to take care of me. I was a pathetic shit who couldn't even get his shit together to get out of bed after Fred died and Ember's grandfather Edison threatened to get Ginny fired if I didn't get out of Ember's life.

Now I'm terrified that if he finds out I'm back, he'll ruin Ginny's career with the snap of his fingers.

The man never liked me. Said that his grandchild is too good for me, and he's probably right.

"She knows I love her." I said. "She knows I would do anything for her."

"Then why didn't you? Couple counselling isn't that bad. I've never tried it but all you gotta do is show up and not complain."

I sighed deeply as I looked at my brother.

"She has always been better than me. She just doesn't see it." I shrugged. "I did her a favour by leaving. Maybe—"

"No." Bill interrupted. "I know where that was about to go. If you ever leave her again, I will find you and I will drag you right back. I don't care that you're my brother, because that girl is madly in love with you. Don't you dare hurt her like that again."

"Am I interrupting?" A voice filled the room, causing me to shoot out of my chair, though when my eyes landed on Ember's younger brother, I let out a breath of relief.

Bill stood up as well and we both looked at Romany who had entered through the fireplace.

"You're gonna leave her again?" Romany asked, his eyes staying on me. They were full of anger — like he was gonna kill me at any given moment. "Because if you do— I'll warn her so she can leave you before you get to do that to her again. I don't think you understand how broken she was. She—"

"Romany—" I interrupted him. "I'm not leaving her again. I promised me to stay. I won't break my promise again."

He scoffed in response as I let myself fall back into the chair, running my hand into my red curls that were starting to grow way too long. I needed a haircut.

"Is there a reason you're here, Romany?" Bill asked. "Is Ember alright?"

"Oh, she's good. She looks like shit if I have to be honest — tired and she's kinda emotional but other than that, she's good." Ember's brother said. "She actually asked me to come here and make sure Charlie were alright."

I immediately looked up from the table to see Romany's expression change.

"Shit. I wasn't supposed to say that." He said. "Oh fuck, she's going to kill me, isn't she? She told me to be discreet about it — act like I wanted advice about Luna."

"Luna?" Bill asked. "What— you got a crush?"

Bill watched him in amusement while I simply sat here, struggling to hide my smile. She still wanted to know if I was okay. I didn't deserve that, but it sure as hell made me happy to know she still cared even if she did kick me out for two weeks.

"Actually, she's my girlfriend." Romany said, rubbing his hands together before he looked to me. "So— _are_ you alright?"

I didn't get to respond before Bill did instead.

"Just tell her he's doing fine." He said. "We wouldn't want her to worry."

"So I _shouldn't_ tell her he looks worse than her?" Romany asked. "Because I think that would make her day."

_Of course it would._

"Tell her the truth or tell her a white lie." Bill shrugged. "Whatever you think will make her the happiest."

"Right." Romany said. "Well, seeing as this didn't go as planned, I'll figure something out."

Ember's grandfather ruined everything. He's a bully, but I was still the one who let him boss me around. I let myself be scared of his power but I just wanted to protect my sister and the career that means so much to her.

After Romany left again, Bill turned towards me and shoved his hands into his pockets while he watched me with a judgemental look on his face.

"I miss her." I admitted. "It's only been two days which means there is still twelve to go and I can't — I can't wait that long to see her again."

"Charlie—"

"I miss her so fucking much." I continued. "I'd be grateful even if she was here to yell at me. I just want to look at her and hear her voice. You don't even know what it's like. You got to marry the love of your life and she doesn't hate you."

"Don't do that." Bill said, shaking his head. "It's not my fault that you followed your insecurities."

"I didn't have a fucking choice!" I yelled, causing Bill to go quiet. We looked at each other for a while before he pulled out a chair and sat down.

"Go on."

"After the war, I was terrified of losing her like I almost did that night in the hospital and I know I said that was why I _did_ leave, so that she could get a chance with someone better, but I would never leave because of that." I said, feeling my eyes sting as I teared up. "Her mother's father has hated me since I entered Ember's life. Because I'm from a _not-so-wealthy_ family and she's from an upper class family."

I started crying. I wiped my eyes and pressed against them with my palms as I tried to stop.

"Quidditch is what helped Ginny after the war. She's always wanted to play professionally and so when that happened, she was over the moon, don't you remember? He was gonna take that away from her if I didn't get out of Ember's life."

Bill sat up straight.

"Charlie— that's— why didn't you just say that? Everything would be easier if you had just said that."

"How am I supposed to do that?!" I snapped. "I've already come up with an excuse. I've already told her that lie and if I tell her the truth now, she's both going to be more mad at me _and_ hate her grandfather. It's easier if she just hates me."

"Charlie—"

"She's going to hate him if she finds out." I said. "She's close with him— always have been. _That's_ going to break her."


	39. Chapter 39

**Ember**

"I am in actual pain." I laughed, bending forwards with my hands on my knees. I made a face, then straightened up and tried to fix my bra. "I think I need a new one. This isn't supporting me enough."

"How so?" Avalon asked, placing the cup of tea in front of me. "Haven't you had that one for years now? Ever had problems with it before?"

I shrugged.

"No, never." I answered, tugging at the neck of my shirt to look down at myself. "I think my boobs have gotten bigger. They're technically spilling out of the cups and my back is killing me. I definitely need a new bra."

I sighed and got out of my chair.

"I'll go change." I informed my sister. "It'll just be a minute."

I walked into my room and closed the door behind me before immediately pulling off my shirt and taking off my bra.

I had a sports bra that I rarely used. I hadn't worked out in a while and it had always been a bit big on me so hopefully it would now fit, seeing as my boobs had gained in weight. It must've been from when I went back to eating after basically starving myself.

They were also tender from wearing a bra that didn't fit. Or maybe that was because my cycle was about to start.

_My cycle._

I frowned and looked towards the small pocket calendar that laid on the dresser. I kept record of my cycles in it but I couldn't quite remember my last one.

I hurried over to grab my calendar and scrolled to the month we were in. The start of July. Then I went back to June and didn't see any records. Then May. My last cycle started on May 28th and ended on June 3rd. That was the last.

My next should've started...

June 24th.

That's eight days ago. I'm eight days late? I'm eight days late. How did I not notice? How did I not...

With how tired I've been, with the back pain, the headaches. How did I not notice?

My thoughts kept racing as I slowly pulled open the top drawer and found my sports bra, pulling it on. It fitted perfectly.

But how? I mean, I couldn't possibly be pregnant. No because I calculated it perfectly when Charlie and I had sex in the shower. That was six days before my ovulation and sperm survives for five whole days.

Once again I found myself looking through my calendar, and I nearly gasped when I saw the date.

June 11th. That was when we had shower sex and according to the book, that was _three_ days before ovulating, not six.

How could I get that wrong? How could I bet so irresponsible? So dumb?

I got pregnant once by accident and I had an abortion because I was too scared to raise the baby on my own. This couldn't be happening again. Charlie and I weren't in a good place where we could start a family, but I didn't know if I could have another abortion if I turned out to be pregnant.

"Avalon!" I shouted as I pulled on my shirt again and put away the bra on the floor. I then ripped the door open and walked out where my older sister sat. "I uh— I-I..."

I couldn't even speak properly. I was so terrified of this — especially because Charlie wasn't at home at the moment and we still had so much to figure out.

"What's wrong?" Avalon asked, motioning for me to sit down. I did and took a sip of my tea before looking at her again.

"I-I-I-I..."

I was bouncing my leg and apparently didn't know how to speak without panicking and stuttering.

I let out a breathy laugh and ran my hands over my face.

"Ember, calm down." Avalon chuckled. "You just went to get changed and now you're all nervous."

"I think I may be pregnant." I blurted, digging my nails into my thigh while my other hand grabbed my cup to take another sip.

"Oh?"

"I'm late." I continued. "Eight days. I don't know how I didn't notice before but that along with the back pains and some headaches. It's different symptoms than when I last was pregnant, but I think I might be and I—"

"Woah!" Avalon interrupted and grabbed my hands. "Hey... calm down, yeah? Don't panic. We can easily figure out if you're instinct is right."

I took a deep breath and nodded slowly as I leaned back in the chair. I closed my eyes. I needed to gather my thoughts. I needed to calm down, to not panic.

"I can't be pregnant." I sighed and opened my eyes again. "It's all my fault. I told Charlie we didn't need protection because I wasn't gonna ovulate for another six days. I thought there was six days until— there was three."

Avalon took a sip of her tea before looking at me again.

"Do you need me to go down and buy you a test?" She asked. "I can go get a Muggle one or the Wizarding one. You decide."

I shook my head.

"No. I can't. Not without Charlie." I said. "I need him to come home first. I just have to wait a week."

_Just a week._

"I miss him, you know?" I asked, rocking back and forth on the chair a little. "I know it was my own decision to have some space from him but I really miss him and Romany told me he's doing poorly. I really want to go and tell him to come home but I'm not going to mess with his head."

Avalon sighed and crossed her legs, folding her hands in her lap.

"I'm still fucking pissed at him." She said. "But I know he'd make an excellent father, though don't let him pick the names. He gives his dragons human names and he'll probably want your baby to be named something like— _fireball..._ I don't even know."

Talking about my possible future baby like this, made me even more nervous. The first time around, it was the perfect time for us to have a baby. Well, mostly the perfect time. It had only been five months since the war ended but I thought the baby could give us both some kind of healing, then Charlie left and I aborted the baby I so wanted to have.

That's my biggest regret ever. I wish I would've kept it. Now I feel like I could've been able to raise her on my own — even though Charlie did come back before my due date.

Now— well now is such bad timing. Charlie and I are in counselling and we need to learn to trust each other again. How are we supposed to raise a baby if we don't trust each other.

Then again, maybe a baby is what it takes for us to find our way back to what we were before.

"You shouldn't beat yourself up about getting knocked up." Avalon interrupted my thoughts. "If you decide to keep it, you'll both make great parents. Amber wasn't planned either but look at us. Our girl is almost six years old. One thing I do regret though, is her name. I mean — what did we think? Her aunt's name is Ember and we decide to call her Amber."

I laughed softly as I thought about it. When Amber was born and her name was introduced, I found it really weird but I didn't say anything because Mahlon and Avalon were so happy about it.

_Amber & Ember._

It's awfully close to each other.

Avalon went home later that day. She managed to calm me down. She made me realise that my choice is okay no matter what I choose. If I'm pregnant, that's okay and if I'm not, that's okay too. If I decide to keep it, great! If I decide to get an abortion, that's alright.

I found myself standing in front of the mirror in the bedroom, my shirt pulled up, my hand traveling over my stomach.

This was fucking insane. Why was my uterus so fertile? If I was pregnant, that would be two times in nine months.


	40. Chapter 40

There wasn't a doubt.

I hadn't taken a test but I just knew it. I knew I was pregnant. I knew I was carrying a child. I could feel it. The symptoms...

It was _just_ the symptoms. It was a gut feeling. A feeling I didn't have the first time because I hadn't been pregnant before, but now I knew what it felt like and now that I was aware of the symptoms, I realised I was pregnant.

No matter what, I still needed a test to confirm it.

Charlie was gonna come home today. It had been two weeks — fourteen days. I couldn't wait to hug him and kiss him. Though we had been fighting before he left, I missed his face and I missed his voice.

I sighed into my pillow, hugging it tighter. I went from not wanting to sleep, to _only_ wanting to sleep. That's what made the days go by faster.

"Ember?!"

Immediately I lifted my head and looked towards the door. That was his voice. I heard some sounds from the living room. Him getting off some clothes, putting down a bag.

I slowly got out of bed, having to gather myself as I felt quite dizzy. When I felt alright again and the dizziness was gone, I made my way out of the room and ran my hand along the wall until I turned the corner. I rested my hand against the wall, looking at him.

He had taken off his coat and was throwing it over the back of the sofa before pushing up his sleeves to his elbows.

He ran a hand through his hair. It had grown longer since the last time I saw him. Then he raised his head and his eyes met mine. His expression turned soft and he let out a heavy and shaky breath.

"Hi." He smile weakly. I could tell he was a bit nervous, probably wondering if I was ready to have him back or if I was gonna throw him out again.

Instead of answering him, I simply lunged towards him and threw my arms around his neck, hugging him tightly as I squeezed my eyes shut. I could tell he was taken back, but then he slowly wrapped his arms around my back and hugged me back while hiding his face in the crook of my neck.

I moved my arms down to wrap around his back instead while he moved a hand to the back of my head as I hid my face against his shoulder, taking in his scent.

I ran my hands up his back to rest on the back of his shoulders, nuzzling my nose into his shoulder.

"I've missed you." I whispered. My boobs were sore so they were hurting from being pressed against Charlie's body, but I didn't care. I was happy to have him back. I loved how warm his body was and I loved the way he was holding me.

"Yeah?" He whispered. "I thought you hated me."

"I could never hate you. No matter what you do — I can't."

I pulled my head back slightly to look at him. My eyes scanned his face, flicking back to his lips constantly. I brushed my lips over his, and he hummed in appreciation as he put pressure against me, making the kiss a proper one.

He tangled his fingers in my hair as our lips moved together in a slow and passionate rhythm.

I had missed this. The warmth from him. The feeling of his lips against mine. The way he tastes.

When we pulled back out, we looked at each other, but breathing quite heavily. I muzzled my nose against his jaw before resting my forehead against his shoulder.

"I have to tell you something." I whispered. "I made a mistake."

I could feel Charlie's body tense and I quickly looked at him when I realised how that sounded.

He looked down at me, no expression on his face whatsoever — like he was searching for something on my face, some kind of hint.

"I calculated wrong." I continued. "I thought there was six days until my ovulation but—"

Charlie's eyebrows fell into a slight frown. We stayed in position — holding each other like we hadn't seen each other for years.

"... it was three, not six."

"What?" He frowned, brushing some of my messy hair behind my ear. "Are you pregnant?"

I sighed.

"I haven't taken a test." I said softly. "But I'm pretty sure that I am."

Charlie looked down between us, probably at my clothed stomach, then looked at my face again and pulled me into another hug.

"Are you okay?" He asked. "How're you feeling?"

"I just want you to know that I'm sorry." I said. "It's my fault that I'm pregnant. I think I must've mistaken the days."

Charlie ran his fingers through my hair, his arm wrapped around my shoulders.

"That's okay." He whispered. "It's alright. We can do this, yeah? If this is what you want, we can do it and we'll take it at your pace."

He was suddenly seeming a lot more supportive with me in general than he was before our little break. Maybe we had both just been tired and stressed out and that caused us to fight.

"I didn't want to take a test until you were with me." I said. "I told Avalon about my suspicion but I told her I wasn't gonna take a test yet."

I pulled out of the hug, our arms completely letting go of each other. I folded my arms over my chest and watched his expression before I reached out and ran my hand into his curls.

"Do you _want_ to take a test?" He asked. "I mean, are you ready for that or do you want to wait a little while?"

"No— I'm..." I took a deep breath, smiling weakly when Charlie wrapped his fingers around my wrist and pressed a kiss to my arm while my hand was tangled in his hair. "... I'm ready. I was just waiting for you."

I took a step back and gulped when I realised we needed to talk. We needed to be able to communicate. Especially if we were gonna do the whole parenting thing together. We couldn't raise a child in an environment where fighting is the only option. That's just not right.

"I want to apologise." I said, fidgeting with my fingers. "I've been a total bitch towards you. I'm sorry that I keep bringing it up. I know we can't move forward if I always use the fact that you left me, against you. I also want to apologise for not telling you I was pregnant back then — and for basically using you for sex, for making you sleep on the sofa but still wanting to have sex in the bed. I'm sorry that I told you to shut up. I'm sorry I told you this isn't your home. It _is_ your home. It's always _been_ your home. I'm sorry I told you to piss off and I'm sorry for making you leave like that. I should've done it differently. I should've sat down and talked to you about it instead of just dropping a bomb on you like that."

My eyes flicked up to his face. He was now the one with arms folded over his chest, showing off both his muscles but also the tattoos on his arms.

"Why are you apologising? You did nothing wrong. _I'm_ the one who should be apologising." He said. "And I actually wanna tell you something. Something important."

"Okay..."

"I uh—" his tongue came out to wet his lips before he sat down on the sofa, his knees spread and his hands folded between them. He looked up at me, smiling weakly. "... sit, please?"

I gave him a small nod as I sat on the table so I could look directly at him. Our knees touched and he smiled weakly again as he placed his hands on my thighs.

"I just wanted to tell you that— I uh..." he took a deep breath before he looked at my face with a soft, yet broken expression. "... I love you so much and I— I hope you still love me as well."

_That's not what he wanted to say._

I didn't want to pressure him into saying something he obviously wasn't ready for, so I smiled at him and wrapped my arms around his neck to hug him while I pressed a kiss to his cheek.

"And I want to apologise for some things too." He continued. "For always raising my voice at you even when you're trying to stay calm."

"Oh, that's—"

"It's not alright." He cut me off as I sat back down on the table. "I'm sorry for that, yeah? And I'm sorry for being so stubborn about the counselling. I promise I'll cooperate from now on. I know my promises probably mean shit at this point but I hope you trust me that I'll keep my promise. I'm sorry I got mad at you for not telling me that you were pregnant. I'm sorry I read your diary. I'm sorry I got mad at you for bringing shit up. I know I broke your heart when I left and you do have every right to bring it up, because I know it's still hurting and I need to regain your trust and have you believe it won't happen again. And I— I'm sorry for—"

His voice broke and he looked down, his curls surrounding his face as he cried. I placed my hands on his, bringing them up to my face to let him know I was here.

"... I'm sorry I made it so hard for you after the war." He sobbed. "I was being so selfish. I didn't even think about you. I'm sorry you had to take care of me. I'm sorry I didn't show you how grateful I was, b-because I truly am grateful for everything you've always done and everything you continuously do for me and for us."

I started crying as well. I almost always did when I saw him cry. When I saw him like that. It hurt me all the way into the bone.

"It's okay." I said in a soothing way, trying to calm him down. "I don't blame you for that. I would never blame you for that."

I never did blame him for having me take care of him. I might have mentioned it out of anger, but he had just lost his younger brother and I was happy to take care of him. I was just happy to know he was safe in bed. That was all that mattered.

"It wasn't your job to take care of me." He shook his head. "You didn't deserve that. You've always been too good for me, Emmy."

I got down on my knees and made my way between his legs before wrapping my arms around his back to hug him. He hugged me back, planting a kiss on top of my head.

"You're good enough, Charlie." I whispered against the material of his shirt, my eyes closed. "No one thinks you're not good enough for me. Everyone makes mistakes and now we just need to move forward."


	41. Chapter 41

"How do they even work?" Charlie asked and turned the package with two of the pregnancy tests, over in his hands. He went downs and bought a few two-packs so that we would be completely sure.

"I just pee on them." I said. "On the uh— the stick at the end of it, put the cap back on and wait the minutes it says on the instructions."

Charlie glanced at me before he turned the package over again.

"It doesn't say any minutes." He said. "But it looks like it has some kind of fancy countdown."

He showed it to me and I simply gave a small nod. The pregnancy test had this little screen where it counted down until the result was ready. It counted squares. One square equal twenty-five percent. Four squares and it was finished loading.

Then the little screen would say the result, and seeing as it isn't a Muggle test, and actually a magical one, it can say more than just the confirmation of the pregnancy. It says when you conceived, how far along you are, and if the sex of the baby has been formed, the test says that too. It also says due date.

"We're gonna keep it if it's positive, right?" I asked, looking up at Charlie. "I mean, we have things we need to sort out but according to our age, it's kinda perfect... I turn twenty-six in a month and you turn twenty-seven in three. It's basically the perfect age to become parents."

My hands were shaking as I held one of the other packages in my hand. I was even more nervous than the first time I had to take a test.

"We're going to have to find a new home and there're so many things we need to buy and then we have to see a healer and we also need to tell our families."

"Emmy." Charlie spoke, earning my attention. He offered me a soft and comforting smile. "We'll figure everything out. You said it happened when we had sex in the shower, right?"

I nodded.

"That's less than a month ago. You can't be far along so we still have a lot of time to figure everything out before the baby arrives."

I took a deep breath and grabbed the package from his hand before I made sure I had all three. There was two in each — six tests in total.

"I've drank a lot of water — I should be able to pee." I said and went to walk towards the bathroom when Charlie's hand came out and grasped my jaw. He quickly pressed a kiss to my lips before he simply looked at me.

"I love you."

I let out a breath and smiled at him before repaying the kiss.

"I love you." I responded. He let go of me, and I walked into the bathroom, closing the door behind me.

After I managed to pee on all six tests, I made sure the cap was back on. I washed my hands, then made my way back out with the tests in my hands. I grabbed some paper towels and placed them on the table, then placing the tests on top.

"Now we just wait." I told Charlie. I walked past him, into the living room where I decided to sit down on the sofa.

"Can I ask you something?" Charlie approached me slowly with his hands shoved into the pockets of his trousers. He joined me on the sofa and pulled one leg up so that he could face me.

"Sure."

"When you were pregnant the first time around—" he took a deep breath and looked down at his hands. I followed his gaze and noticed that he was picking at a small wound on his thumb. I grabbed his hands to get him to stop, and he looked at me with a faint and shy smile. "...you wanted to keep it, right?"

"I did." I said, scooting closer to him as I kept a hold on his hands.

"Do you blame me for the abortion?" He asked. "Because I do. I just need to know if _you_ do."

"No." I assured him. "That's not on you. You didn't know I was pregnant."

He leaned in and nuzzled his nose against my cheek before kissing me softly.

"It's like you said— I should've seen the symptoms." He whispered against my lips before he hid his face in the crook of my neck, wrapping his arms around my stomach.

I ran my hand into his messy curls, my other arm wrapping around his shoulders. He pressed a kiss to my neck before humming in satisfaction. My neck had always been one of his favourite parts of my body. He told me that when we first started dating. He loved hiding his face in my neck, he loved my scent and he loved the softness of my skin.

At the same time, my favourite part of him was either his back, his shoulders or his hair.

"Can you cut my hair later?" He whispered against my skin. "Like you used to do?"

"Okay." I said softly, playing with his hair as he planted more kisses on my neck. "We can do it now, then check the tests when I'm finished?"

Charlie pulled back his head to look at me. He pressed a soft and passionate kiss to my lips before nodding at me. He got off the sofa and reached for my hand, helping me up as well.

"Find a chair and I'll to find my set." I told him, running my hand through his curls again before walking into our bedroom.

I found the scissor and the comb that I used specifically for cutting hair. I haven't used them in a while.

In the kitchen, Charlie had sat down on a chair. He was holding his wand in his hand, spinning it around in his fingers.

"Do you want it the usual length?" I asked, walking behind him. I ran my fingers into his curls, messing them up a bit more.

"Yes." He nodded slowly. "Thank you, angel."

We were both being quiet as I cut his hair. Both nervous about the pregnancy test. Both thinking about the future — what was to come if the test was positive.

"I uh— I actually had names when I was pregnant the first time around." I said. "I had about six names I really liked, that I wanted to talk to you about after telling you the news."

"Yeah?" Charlie asked. "Do you mind sharing them with me?"

"Well, I really like the name Clover." I said. "It means _key,_ and then it obviously means luck."

"I like that."

"Then there's Enola. Alone spelt backwards, but it also means solitary." I said. "And the last girl name is Izora. It's Latin and it means _from Isauria."_

Charlie listened to me as he spoke. He didn't say anything else. He just listened.

"The boy names I like are a bit more common. Theo, Canyon and Marino." I said. "Though I gave more thought to the girl names, seeing as it was a girl the first time around."

Charlie hummed in response. He sounded relaxed. He always ended up really relaxed when I cut his hair. A few times he had fallen asleep.

"They're some great names." He said as I moved around to the front of him so I could continue to cut his hair. He wrapped his hands around the back of my thighs to have him closer, between his legs. "I especially like Clover and Marino."

I smiled softly, glancing down at his face.

When I finished cutting his hair, I put away the scissor and the comb, then the both of us cleaned up the hair on the floor.

"Do you think the tests are ready?" I asked, nervously glancing towards the table. Charlie showed up next to me and wrapped an arm around my waist, pressing a kiss to my table.

"We can try and take a look."

"Can you do it?" I hurried to say. "I don't know if I can."

Charlie nodded at me and kissed my temple again before he let go of me. While I backed up until I leaned against the counter, Charlie moved his way towards the table and placed a hand on either side of it. He was leaned over the tests, reading them with an expression I couldn't read.

Then he stood up straight and turned his head to look at me with a look of surprise.

"Holy shit."


	42. Chapter 42

"Holy shit?" I asked. "What? W-What does that mean?"

Charlie motioned for me to join him by the table. I looked at him but I didn't move. The holy shit sounded good but what was good for Charlie? Did he want the baby or did he not?

"I think you want to see this, angel." Charlie said, reaching for my hand. I gave it to him and he tugged me towards him. "Take a look."

I was holding my breath. My shaking hand came out to pick up one of the tests.

"They all say the same thing." He told me as I looked at the test. My eyes widened and I let go of Charlie's hand to clamp it over my mouth.

_Pregnant_   
_Embryos: 2_   
_6 weeks, 2 days_   
_Conceived: June 11th_   
_Due: February 11th_

The result kept scrolling as there wasn't room for it all on the screen at the same time.

"Wait a damn minute!" I put down the test and looked at Charlie. _"Twins?"_

"Well—" Charlie breathed. "It does make sense. There is multiple set of twins in my family and multiple set of twins in yours."

How was he being so calm about that? There is not one, but _two_ babies in my uterus and all he says is: _it make sense._

"I am carrying twins?!" I exclaimed and took a step back, pressing a hand to my stomach. "Doesn't it skip a generation? It skips a generation!"

"I don't think it does, darling." Charlie shook his head. "My mum's brothers were twins, then there's Fred and George — and you've got twin brothers but you've also got twin cousins."

I took a few deep breaths while shaking my hands, clenching them and unclenching them.

"My grandfather is a twin too." I said. "Grandpa Edison, y'know? Well, his twin died a few years ago but he was one. I thought it skipped a generation. I didn't think that I could—"

_I need a drink._

"I can't even drink!" I continued. "I'm fucking pregnant with twins. I can't drink."

"Drinking would be a bad idea either way." He told me. "Babe, don't freak out, okay? We'll sit down and we'll discuss this. Everything to have you calm down."

I shook my head as I looked at him.

"He told me it skips a generation. I have to go talk to him."

"Who? Your grandfather? Edison?"

"Yes!" I nodded. "Who else?"

Charlie looked down at the table, tensing up which made me relax a little, all my attention being put on him.

"Babe?" I asked. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." He shook his head. "Just don't— don't go see your grandfather. Stay here with me."

I frowned.

"He'll find out you're back somehow." I said. "I'd like him to know before he finds out I'm pregnant."

"Ember!" Charlie snapped, making me flinch. He sighed and his expression softened. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to raise my voice. I've just missed you a lot and we just found out about this. Can't you wait to tell him?"

I nodded slowly, watching him. I didn't know why he seemed so anxious about me leaving, but if me staying made him feel more safe and comfortable, that was what was going to happen.

"Do _you_ want this?" I asked, motioning towards my stomach. "A family with me?

"Of course." He nodded slowly. "You know that. I told you before. Multiple times."

I hummed softly and walked back to lean against the counter. I pulled myself up to sit on them, my eyes landing on Charlie as he watched the six pregnancy tests on the table.

"But right now?"

"Yeah, right now." He nodded and looked at me. "I personally think right now is a perfect time. I think the baby— _babies,_ can help us find each other again. With babies come responsibility and with responsibility comes trust."

I grabbed the edge of the counter and tapped my fingers against it as I looked at the floor, then my eyes slowly moved to my stomach.

_Two babies._

_Twins._

"This is iconic." I laughed. "I had an abortion. Got rid of one baby and now I'm pregnant with two."

Charlie slowly made his way over towards me until he was in front of me. He placed his hands on my thighs and gently spread them so he could stand between my legs. He ran his hands over my shoulders and up the sides of my neck, cupping my jawline.

"I'll just—" I sighed, placing my forehead against his. "...write him. Then we can talk."

"Write Edison?" He asked. "N-No, you don't need to do that right now. Come cuddle with me, yeah? You can write him later."

I didn't get to respond before a green fire appeared from the fireplace, followed by Avalon walking out.

Charlie slowly stepped away from me while I got down from the counter.

"Ava, hi." I said, glancing towards the table with tests. Avalon saw them and she gasped loud and dramatically before rushing over to look at him.

"Oh my gosh! You're actually pregnant. Amber's going to have a little cou—"

She stopped talking as she looked up at Charlie and I. Her lips parted and then she let out a cry of happiness before lunging forwards, throwing her arms around me.

"Twins?" She whispered. "I'm so happy for you, Em."

"We just found out." I said as she pulled back. "I still don't know what to really think."

She hugged me again and pressed a kiss to my forehead before she turned towards Charlie.

"Congratulations." She said coldly. "I'm no longer going to kill you. Not because I don't want to because I _really_ want to. No, I'm not going to kill you because you're going to be a dad and my nieces or nephews need a father."

Charlie chuckled as he pushed his hands into the pockets of his trousers.

"What am I supposed to say to that? Thank you?"

Avalon scoffed before turning to me again, smiling brightly.

"Mahlon and I really wanted to have twins." She said. "You are going to love motherhood, Emmy. It's amazing — and those little babies. You're gonna love them in a way you didn't know existed. You're gonna want to do anything for their happiness and their safety."

_Not helping how nervous I am._

"Avalon, that's— that's great." I nodded, folding my arms over my chest. "I just need some time to process this. I thought I was pregnant but never did I imagine two at a time."

I ran a hand over my face before looking at Avalon again, then at Charlie. The air was kinda awkward between them. Avalon hated him and Charlie knew that.

"I actually just came to see how you were doing." Avalon smiled softly at me. "But seeing as Charles' here and you just found out you're pregnant, I'll get going and write you in the morning, yeah?"

I nodded and received a last hug before I said goodbye. Then she went back to the fireplace and used the floo system to travel back home to her husband and her daughter.

"Well—" Charlie breathed. "At least she isn't going to kill me now."


	43. Chapter 43

"Whisky?" I asked softly, looking at Charlie who was sitting on the sofa, reading in a book. _My_ book. It was the first one I ever published.

"One second, love." He muttered as I leaned against the beam in the living by room. He read the rest of the page before taking the bookmark, placing it on the page and then he closed the book.

After he put it on the table, he folded his hands between his spread knees and looked at me with a smile.

"What's up, angel?"

"I had a nightmare." I mumbled, causing his smile to fade. "And I want you to move back into the bedroom."

He looked at me but didn't say anything. I watched him as he ran a couple of fingers over his lips, then sighed and pushed himself to his feet.

"Was it the same usual nightmare?" He asked, walking towards me. He cupped my face, tilting my head back before pressing a kiss to my forehead.

"Yeah." I breathed. "But it's not just that. I want us to share a bed again. I miss waking up next to you."

I reached out and hooked my fingers into his belt, pulling him closer to my body. His arms moved around my neck and he then kissed my temple.

"Are you sure?" He asked. "Cause when I think about it— the sofa isn't _that_ bad to sleep on."

I looked up at him and pressed a kiss to under his jaw. "Come join me in bed. If not for me, then for your unborn babies."

"I'll be in _in_ a moment." He whispered and kissed my lips softly before I smiled and turned around, walking back into the room.

I pulled my shirt over my head and threw it onto the dresser before I crawled into bed, getting under the duvet. Shortly after Charlie joined me. He put the book on the nightstand before crawling onto the bed, placing a hand on either side of my body. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to my cheek.

"Are you completely sure you want me to sleep in here?"

I opened my eyes at his words and looked at him like he was dumb, which made him chuckle hoarsely. He nuzzled his nose against my cheek, waiting for my response.

"If you ask me that one more time, I'll punch you in the balls and these babies will be the only children we'll ever have."

"Oh?" he raised his eyebrows and got up on his knees, pulling his shirt off. He threw it on the floor, then started unbuckling his belt. "How many children are we gonna have then?"

"Ten." I joked. "No... _twelve."_

Her laughed and got off the bed so he could take of his trousers, and at the same time, I rolled onto my back, the duvet moving down to rest around my stomach. My eyes followed Charlie as he joined me under the duvet, turning onto his side. He wrapped an arm around my torso, right under my boobs while tangling his legs with mine.

"You're so warm." he said in a whisper, planting a kiss on my shoulder. He hummed softly, closing his eyes. He always hummed like that when he got himself comfortable or ready to sleep. I smiled, loving the feeling of having him back with me in bed like this.

"You're so _cold."_ I replied, placing my arm over his. He hummed again, this time in acknowledgement as he slowly trailed his fingers over my stomach, making goosebumps rise on my skin. "Weren't you going to read?"

"I was." he nodded slowly, trailing his fingers along the hem of my knickers. "Then I saw you lie here, half-naked and you know how much I adore your boobs."

"You want them?" I joked, causing him to look at me. "I can take them off and you can have them."

He raised his eyebrows but then laughed and pressed a kiss to my shoulder again.

"I wish I _could_ take them off." I then sighed. "I normally love my boobs but now they're swollen and sore because I'm pregnant."

I looked at Charlie as I slid down a bit and rolled onto my side so that we were face to face. His eyes traced over my face while mine traced over his.

"I blame you." I said with a soft smile. "And I'm gonna blame you until I've given birth."

"I can live with that." He chuckled, kissing me before he sighed and sat up. "I've changed my mind. I want to read."

_And I'm the one who's pregnant?_

"Make up your mind, babe." I whispered, closing my eyes.

While Charlie read, his hand found its way to my hair while the other held the book. One a while, his hand would leave my hair so he could turn the pages, but he always went back to playing with my hair until I fell asleep.

The next morning, I woke up, smiling at the fact I hadn't had a nightmare. It took me a few seconds from waking up to processing what was going on.

Charlie was hovering over me as I laid on my stomach. He had a hand on either side of my body, my hair was pushed away from my torso and he was kissing his way down my bare back.

"Good morning my _beautiful_ darling." He whispered against my skin after he heard the deep breath leave my mouth.

"Don't you have to get ready for work?" I asked, watching the time on the clock that stood on his nightstand. "You've always woken me up with kisses when you're horny."

He simply hummed and planted a kiss on my lower back before he moved up and kissed my shoulder while thrusting against my arse.

"You know me too well." He whispered, kissing underneath my jaw before he sucked on my earlobe, making me moan into the pillow.

"Are you trying to make twins, _triplets?"_ I asked, closing my eyes as he thrusted against me again.

"We could always try." He whispered through a breathy chuckle.

I hummed, slowly turning around to lie on my back. He leaned down, kissing my lips softly before attaching his lips to my pulse point, sucking on my skin while his right hand went down, grabbing around my thigh and lifted my lip over his hip.

His groped the back of my thigh, his nails digging into the flesh. I let out a suffocated break, bucking my hips against him to get some kind of friction for what he had caused between my legs.

_Fucking hormones._

"You never answered me." I breathed. "Babe, you can't be late for work."

"I won't be late for work." He whispered against my collarbone, thrusting his hips against mine, his erection slamming right up against my heat.

I moaned at the contact, tilting my head back both out of pleasure but also to give him more access to my skin.

"I know doctor Vixen hasn't cleared us for sex." He said as he pulled his head back so he could look down at me. "Which I by the way think is ridiculous since I've already gotten you pregnant but if you—"

"Shut up and kiss me." I cut him off, wrapping an arm around his neck, pulling him down to meet my lips.

_Once won't ruin anything._


	44. Chapter 44

Seven weeks.

Today marks seven weeks of my pregnancy. It's been what— five or six days since I got the positive pregnancy test and all week I've been working late, keeping the shop open for longer so I can pull in some more money.

After all, I'm going from not being a parents, to being a parent of two. Twins. Two babies... at the same time.

My morning sickness hasn't kicked in yet and I'm kinda hoping this is going to be a pregnancy _without_ morning sickness.

Brazier is slowly starting to make me lose my mind. He is constantly complaining about his tasks and the job I've given him but he needs to pay me back and he can do that with a months salary.

When the work day ended and it was time for me to close up, Brazier was in the office he was working in when he should be helping the rest of us clean up the shop. That's where I was head. The office I had assigned to him.

When I opened the door to the office, I froze in my tracks and my lips parted at what I saw. The office was really messy and my brother was dancing around to some music with his shirt off, swinging it over his head.

_Please god, if you can hear me. Give me a sign. Should I assign my younger brother to the mental ward?_

I pulled my wand from my pocket and pointed it at the stereo on the desk. The music turned off, causing Brazier to stop dancing, his eyes eventually landing on me. Then I noticed the large tattoo across his chest.

_Luna_

"Are you kidding me?" I let out a breathy laugh of pure exhaustion. "Brazier Sawyer Coil. How do I ask you this in the nice possible way... are you fucking insane?!"

He pressed his lips together, looking at me nervously as he held his shirt in his hands.

"Please tell me that's not permanent." I said, pointing at his chest. "Because that is going to be very awkward at Romany and Luna's wedding if they get married."

He still didn't say anything.

"You have your twin brother's girlfriend's name tattooed on your chest." I said. "And it's not even well done. It's all crooked and that handwriting is horrendous."

Brazier looked down at his chest before he scoffed and pulled on his shirt.

"That's _my_ handwriting."

_Oh._

"Seriously?" I asked with a frown before shaking my head. "Well, getting her name tattooed on your body was the dumbest choice you've ever made and you set the kitchen on fire when you were two."

He let out a small chuckle, one side of his lips tugged up as he looked at the wall.

"Yeah, that was fun."

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, counting to ten in my head to not freak out on him. It was so easy to piss me off right now. Charlie and I went to another appointment a few days ago and Charlie told her how I sometimes get really irritated with things she say or do even when there's no reason to be. Apparently it's because of the pregnancy. The healer then told Charlie that it was okay for me to be irritated while pregnant because after all, I _am_ carrying twins.

"What are you doing?" Brazier asked. "Did you just fall asleep while standing up? No... because you're breathing in a weird way."

"It's called taking deep breaths, dumb-ass." I said through gritted teeth, opening my eyes before I sent him a tight smile. "Brazier, clean up the office, stop dancing around like a monkey in a cage and get out in the shop. You haven't even cleaned up the stack of books that you decided to take off the shelves earlier to put on the floor for some odd reason.."

"Well, I was–"

"I don't actually care." I sighed. "I will never understand you or the things you do. Just– clean it up, _please."_

I turned around and let the door stay open while I walked out and into the shop. Calypso seemed to be laughing over something Valencia said while they were both cleaning up Brazier's mess.

"Don't." I told them with a tired smile, causing them to look at me. "I told Brazier to clean it up since he's the one who caused the mess. I don't think there's anything left for you to do so you can go home if you'd like."

Calypso was the first one to go get her coat. Valencia looked at me through narrowed eyes, folding her arms over her chest.

"You okay, Ember?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Well, I don't know." she shrugged. "You seem a little tense. You've been like that all day."

_Hormones._

"I'm just a little tired." I sighed and ran my fingers through the front of my hair. "I'm sorry if I'm taking it out on you. I truly don't mean to."

"No, I know." she chuckled, walking over to me to give me a small hug. "Try and take a nap or something when you've closed up the shop."

I nodded.

"I will."

I said goodbye to Calypso and Valencia before they left. Then I turned as Brazier entered the shop and send me a nervous look before he walked over to clean up the mess of books on the floor.

"I know you're not fond of working." I said, playing with the ring on my index finger. "But that's life, Braz. You can't live the rest of your life on mum and dads money."

"I don't like the idea of being tied down to one job for the rest of my life." he said. "It sounds exhausting and... no _thank you."_

I sighed and walked over, crouching down to help him with the books.

"If you find something you love doing, you won't feel like that." I said. "And you've got a job here for as long as you want. Even until you figure out what you're passionate about."

Brazier glanced at me, then smiled softly.

"Fine. But you have to be nice to me then. I'm your brother."

I chuckled.

"Yeah, well I've got three of those." I said. "And five brothers-in-law. That's a lot of brothers."

"Five?" Brazier asked, looking at me, though his eyes then grew wide when he realise. "Oh... Fred. Right."

After we finished cleaning up, I sent Brazier home, then locked up the shop before I made my way up to the loft. I closed the door behind me while sliding off my shoes, placing them perfectly by the side of the door. When I paid attention to the room, Charlie was leaning against the counter, one arm folded over his bare chest, covered in tattoos here and there.

"Did you have a nice day?"

"Was okay." I shrugged. "Did _you_ have a nice day? You look grumpy."

He shrugged and looked down at the glass of whisky in his hand. Great, he brought back whisky. I could feel myself be a little annoyed with that. I mean, he knew I didn't have the best relationship with alcohol and then there's the fact I'm currently pregnant.

Maybe I'm just overreaction.

That's no reason to be annoyed.

I'll say it again...

_Fucking hormones._

"I'm not grumpy." he breathed. "Though I do want to talk to you about your working hours."

I hummed in response, motioning for him to speak as I folded my arms over my chest, tilting my head. He looked at the whisky again before he brought the glass up to rink the rest of the content. After putting the glass in the sink, he looked at me and grabbed the edge of the counter.

"You normally get off work at five." he said. "But now you've put up your hours and you don't get off work 'till seven. One hour later than me. Wait... no, not seven. It's a quarter past because you also need to close up the shop and clean up."

"That's right." I nodded. "I do need to clean up and close up the shop. Honestly, what's the big issue? We're having twins and I want to pull in some more money to be prepared for all the costs and the new house we'll have to look for."

To me it didn't really seem like something there was a need to discuss.

"We already have money for all of that. There is literally no reason to put up your working hours. You're an author, Ember. A published author. A best-selling author and I'm a Dragonologist. I don't want to sound like a stuck-up rich person, but baby— we're wealthy. We can afford our children."

_Take a deep breath._

"It's none of your business if I decide to up my work hours." I said. "It's my job and it's only two hours more a day."

"Ember." He sighed, watching me walk towards the room before he followed me. "I just don't want to see you stress because you work more. You're already stressed enough with forty hours a week — why do you need to up that to fifty?"

I glanced at him as I pulled my shirt over my head, but I didn't say anything. I threw the shirt on the bed, my bra going the same way, before I walked to the dresser and found myself a hoodie to put on.

"Babe." He spoke, trying to get my attention. "Angel."

"What?!" I snapped, spinning around to face him as I pulled the hoodie down to cover my torso. "Why do you want to argue to badly, Charlie? Is that the only kind of excitement you can find?"

"Seriously?"

"Yes, seriously!" I groaned, rolling my eyes before I walked past him again, leaving the room, but once again he chased after me. "It's none of your—"

"Don't fucking say that again!" He yelled, causing me to turn around and look at him. "Maybe that would have been true before, when we were just boyfriend and girlfriend. When we were just best friends, but Ember. You are pregnant with _our_ children so I don't need you to get your stress levels even higher than they already are, and don't give me that fucking shit about it not being any of my business when it is _all_ of my business. You're my wife. We're not married, but you _are_ my wife and you have been for a very long time. I may not be your husband but you _are_ my wife and I don't care what you think about that."

"Piss o—"

"I'm not finished!" He held up a hand to shut me up. "I love you. You and I fall into so many categories together. I'm your best friend, I'm your boyfriend and we're practically already married so technically I _am_ your spouse. Now I'm also going to be the father of your children and we are in fucking therapy. We are in therapy because somewhere we lost the ability to communicate. We start yelling and we both need to stop doing that."

"Somewhere?" I asked. " _Somewhere_ we lost it? Why are you saying that as if you have no idea when it happened? We both know when, Charlie. We both know—"

"Yes!" He yelled. "We do! I didn't want to bring it up because that always seem to be the bomb that makes our argument that much more extreme."

_I don't know if I want to strangle him or fuck him._

"You need to forgive me, Ember." He continued when he realised I wasn't gonna say anything. I let myself drop onto the small square ottoman next to the sofa, covering my face with my hands as I sighed into them. "If not for me, then for yourself."

"I don't know what you're talking about." I said and looked up at him. "I've forgiven you."

"Yeah, you've said that but I don't believe you." He replied. "It's pretty obvious that you still hate me for leaving you."

I sighed again, running a few fingers over my lips, my eyes staying on him as he got blurry when the tears appeared in the line of my eyes.

"You won't be able to get better if you can't forgive." He said. "I honestly don't care about myself. I just want to see you be okay. First of all because I love you and second of all because you are fucking pregnant, angel. You're stressing yourself out and you're not doing well and in the end, that can harm our twins."

I wiped away the tears that rolled down my cheeks and I forced my eyes away from him.

"Listen, I don't _know_ how to forgive you." I said. "I am trying and I don't know how because we have our good days but then we have sex and somehow that's a trigger to the bad days. Now I know why doctor Vixen told us to stay away from any sexual activities."

I ran a hand to my neck, rubbing my skin as I looked up at him again.

"I just don't understand why you did it." I sobbed softly. "You've explained it to me but it doesn't seem right. Something about it doesn't add up, Charlie."

"Babe—"

"The Charlie I knows, wouldn't leave me because he got a little insecure." I said. "And I keep thinking there is some other reason about it that you just don't want to tell me. I don't know— was there someone else? Did you fall in love with a woman in Romania? Is that who you were with for almost six months?"

He frowned at my question, folding his arms over his chest as he let his shoulders fall and relax.

"Fuck." He cursed, before turning away from me, kicking the beanbag by the bookshelf. "This is all his fault. If he didn't— _fuck!"_

_What?_

Charlie ran his hands into his hair, tugging at his curls before he turned his head towards me.

"I didn't leave you for another woman!" He said firmly. "There _was_ no other woman!"

"A man then?" I shrugged. "Who is _he?"_

"No one." He sighed. "Let's just... I'll take a shower and we'll each get some air."

When he walked towards the bathroom, I got up and took some large steps to get in front of him and block the way.

"No. You can't drop a bomb like that on me and then just walk away!" I raised my eyebrows. "Did you fall in love with someone else, Charlie? Male _or_ female."

"No—"

"Then who is _he?!"_ I basically yelled. "Did someone say something to you?"

"No—"

"Threaten you?" I then asked. "Charlie, if anyone said something to make you leave me, you need to say so now."

Charlie placed a hand up against the doorframe, leaning down slightly to my eye level.

"And who would that be?" He asked. "Who do you seriously think would threaten me? No— that was my decision. I regret it and I wish you could forgive me, but I don't want you to think that anyone _made_ me leave."


	45. Chapter 45

**Charlie**

Ember was sleeping. She was actually sleeping peacefully with a weak smile on her face which told me that she was having a nice dream.

She hasn't had as many nightmares since I moved back into the bedroom. Now I was the one who couldn't sleep.

Ember knew I was hiding something. I should've known it would come to this. She's smart. Way too smart for someone like me.

She was on her back, her head turned towards me. Her left leg was bended at the knee, the other on my side of the bed — or, _her_ side. I went to the toilet and when I got back, she had rolled over on my side so now I was sitting on hers.

She had an arm underneath her pillow, the other hanging off the bed. She was wearing my dark red t-shirt.

The duvet was barely covering her. Only her left leg and the rest of the duvet hung off the bed like her arm.

She was drooling a bit which she had always been embarrassed about but I just found it adorable.

I sighed and placed a hand on her clothed stomach, caressing it with my thumb.

She's the only person I ever imagined to give birth to my children. Even before we were dating, when we were simply at the start of our teen years. She was the only one I could imagine parenthood with. The only one I could imagine a life with.

When Ember placed a hand on mine, my eyes flicked up to her face but she was still asleep. She mumbled something inaudible in her sleep while nuzzling her head further into the pillow.

"I love you." I whispered and leaned down to kiss her forehead. " _So_ much."

I pulled my hand from her stomach, and carefully got out of bed, making sure not to wake her. The floor creaked as I walked to the door, but she stayed asleep.

I left the bedroom and once I closed the door behind me, I let out a breath of relief, though I quickly got aware of the circumstances when I could hear rattling coming from the living room.

I didn't have my wand. It was in the bedroom on the nightstand. I slowly opened the door and put out my hand towards where my wand was. I summoned it, using both wand-less and nonverbal magic.

Once it was in my hand, I slowly and carefully closed the door again, then approached the living room, holding out the wand.

I stepped around the corner and my eyes widened at the person.

"What the hell are you doing in my home at three at night?" I asked, trying not to be too loud. If Ember woke up now, she'd know. She's know what I had been keeping a secret and it would break her to know the truth.

Edison straightened up, closing the drawer he had been going through. He turned around, pushing his hands into the pockets of his way too fancy dress pants.

For a seventy-year-old man, he's really healthy and looks like he could take me out in a second. He also looks way younger than he is and he scares the absolute shit out of me.

He loves Ember. He would do anything for his grandchildren and he's for fucking loads of them. Twelve to be exact.

"What are _you_ doing in your home?" He shot back. "You should be in Romania, forgetting all about my little Emmy."

"Your little—" I let out a quiet laugh. "... she's about to turn twenty-six. You can't baby her forever, Edison."

"It is Mr Crooks to you." He said roughly, taking a step towards me.

_Sounds like a villain from a Disney movie._

"What were you doing?" I asked, pointing my wand at the drawer. When he didn't respond, I walked over and pulled it open, frowning when I saw the bag of white powder. "What's this?"

I grabbed the bag and held it up as I turned towards him again.

"It's some kind of Muggle drug." He told me. He acted like it wasn't that big of a deal. "I believe they call it— _coke."_

"And you're planting this in my drawer of the desk?" I asked. "I'm not— you're not gonna ruin this again. She needs me and I need her."

Edison chuckled, shaking his head at me.

"She doesn't _need_ you. She _wants_ you. There's a difference, Charles. I'm gonna be generous and give you two weeks weeks and if you're not gone by then, I'll just find another way of planting something that'll make her kick you out."

"And how are you gonna do that?" I asked. "Ember won't believe that I do drugs. I don't even know about Muggle drugs. I thought you were smarter than that."

I threw the bag of powder on the coffee tables and gently put my wand down before I faced him again.

"I've got cameras installed in this loft." He said. "I am watching all the time. In the kitchen area, the living room. I see your fights, I hear your conversations and I know she's pregnant."

_Excuse me what?_

"You've installed cameras in my home?" I asked. "You've installed cameras on a property that doesn't belong to you. In your own granddaughter's home? That's sick. That is sick and it's twisted and she is going to hate you for that alone, but even more when she figures out that you threatened me and my sister so you could get me to leave."

"Who's going to tell her?" He asked. "You? Because if you do, I won't only go for you and your sister. I'll make sure your dad loses his job, that the one twin that's left from the war will lose his shop and his home. Do you need me to continue?"

I clenched my fists along with my jaw, gritting my teeth at the same time.

"Two weeks, Charles." He told me again. "I can ruin your entire family and I won't hesitate to cause Ember to miscarriage either."

_That's enough._

"Do _not_ come into _my_ home and threw them _my_ girlfriend and _my_ children!" I raised my voice a little, grabbing my wand, pointing it at him. "If you just as much as curl one hair on her head, I will kill you."

"Oh, you will kill me?"

"You're not fucking sane." I continued. "That is your granddaughter and not only are you trying to ruin her relationship, but you are talking about murdering her unborn babies! Your own _fucking_ granddaughter!"

He let out a hum and smirked before he waved his hand at me, making me fly back, my head hitting the cabinet above the counters before I fell to the ground.

Then a green fire filled the fireplace, and he was gone. The bag of white powder was no longer on the table. He had taken it with him.

"Charlie?!" Ember called out as I laid on the floor, holding a hand to the back of my head where I could feel something warm and wet.

Fast steps approached and then I heard Ember gasp before she a second later, had thrown herself on her knees by my body.

"Charlie!" She exclaimed, brushing her fingers into my hair, her other hand rested against my jaw, turning my head so she could get a look. "You're bleeding. What happened? Are you okay?"

"Fuck." I mumbled, opening my eyes to look at her. "I'm fine, I'm sorry. I-I... slipped."


	46. Chapter 46

**Ember**

I was watching Charlie as he walked around the loft, going through stuff, throwing other stuff. It looked like he was looking for something, but I had no idea what.

He was still bleeding from the back of his head and that story he told me, was not true. I knew that was a lie. He doesn't get that kind of cut from slipping. Plus, there's a spot of blood on the cabinet above the kitchen counter.

I know someone else was in here. I know someone had done something to him. Hurt him. Maybe cast a spell, maybe physically thrown him.

"Charlie, you're scaring me." I said, biting down on my thumb as I watched him. The way he was hectically throwing things that were in his way, the way he was checking the shelves, throwing books on the floor, checking the corners of the ceiling.

He was panicking. Freaking out, and then he stopped. He stood there and ran his hands into his hair, looking around in panic. He was hyperventilating, and then he started crying.

It was a forceful kind of crying, coming out through the heavy breathing. I had never seen him like this before.

"Charlie." I tried softly, approaching him carefully. He flinched, then shook his head as he looked at me.

"H-He— He's going to— he's going to h-hurt you. I can't— I c-cant breathe."

Seeing him like this, broke my heart. I had no idea what he was going through. Who had hurt him like this, and I didn't need to know right now. He needed me — needed me to be there for him. An explanation could wait.

"Baby." I whispered, carefully moving my hands up to cup his face. He immediately placed his hands on top of mine, staring at my eyes. "Whisky. You need to breathe."

"I-I can't." He panted. "Emmy, I c-cant."

"Yes you can." I assured him. "Look at me. Follow my breathing."

I took one deep breath, watching him as he tried to do the same as I. His eyes were watching my lips and after multiple deep breaths, he calmed down.

When I felt it was safe to let go of his jaw, I instead wrapped my arms around his back while his went around my shoulders.

"I'm so sorry." He cried against my hair. "It's all my fault."

I shushed him, running my hand up and down his back. He sighed, then pulled away and looked down at me, keeping his arms against my shoulders.

"Baby." He said in a whisper, tears still running but quieter. Why was he whispering? We were the only ones here. "Go in the bedroom and stay there, alright? I'm okay, I promise. I'll explain everything to you. I just need you to stay in the bedroom until it's safe."

_Until what's safe?_

I didn't question him. I trusted him so I simply nodded and gave him a small kiss to comfort him before I walked into the bedroom. I looked back at Charlie and he motioned for me to close the door, which I then did.

I got onto the bed, leaning back against the headboard as I pulled the duvet over my legs which I then folded underneath.

Charlie was kinda freaking me out. I knew this had something to do with what happened yesterday. How he mentioned a guy, someone who did something.

I know someone made him leave me and I know this has something to do with that.

I could hear sounds from the living room. He was throwing some stuff again while simply moving other things.

I don't know how long I sat there and waited for, but when Charlie barged into the bedroom and slammed the door behind him, I sat up straight, waiting for him to give me some type of explanation.

Then something hit me.

"It's my grandfather, isn't it?"

Charlie's head snapped in my direction and his expression softened before he slowly nodded, throwing his head back against the door.

My grandfather Edison has been to Azkaban before. He was trialed for murder and he convinced the minister that it was an accident so he got fifteen years. That was when I was five years old. He got out when I was twenty — six years ago.

He's never liked Charlie. I remember when we visited him in Azkaban and I'd tell him about him and he's get angry because I was dating someone from a less wealthy family.

I'm close with my grandfather. That may make me a bad person since I don't believe it was an accident that he murdered someone. I don't know why I love him — perhaps because he's family... _blood._

"He made you leave, didn't he?" I asked, pulling the duvet up to cover my shoulders while my hand found it's way to my stomach. "What does he have on you?"

Charlie looked at me again through teary eyes before he cursed under his breath and pushed himself off of the door, heading for the bed.

He crawled over to me before throwing a leg over my body to straddle me, though he held himself up by his knees to not put his body weight on mine.

"I'm sorry." He whispered, shaking his head as he placed his hands on the headboard. "He knows I'm back and he's going to— I'm not leaving you again. I _can't_ leave again."

"Then don't." I said softly, running my hand up his bare chest, trying to soothe him so he could calm down a bit more. "Whisky— talk to me. Tell me everything from the start."

"I don't—"

"I believe you." I said. "I believe he's been doing something, but you need to tell me what he's been doing. I won't doubt you.. I _promise."_

He looked down at me for a moment before he closed his eyes.

"Back in December—" he sighed. "... you were at work downstairs, I had a day off and he came in through the fireplace."

I could feel how fast my heart was beating. I was terrified of what I knew he was gonna tell me. I was terrified of it being true. That my flesh and blood hurt him.

"He started by offering me money to leave. He didn't want me dragging you through the mud because I couldn't get out of bed and you had to take care of me." He explained. "I said no. I didn't want his money and I couldn't be bought. Though I could be blackmailed. He threatened to ruin Ginny's career if I didn't leave you immediately and let you move on. I'm sorry, angel. I wish I had stayed but you know how much Quidditch means for her. You know how it helped her when—"

He inhaled sharply and looked towards the window while biting onto his lips. I ran my hands up to the sides of his neck, making him look at me again.

"I know." I whispered. "It's okay. Go on."

He gulped.

"So I left. I left and I stayed in Romania." He told me. "I wasn't supposed to come back but Bill came and found me and when I heard how badly you truly were doing, I just— I couldn't let you break because of me and I thought if I came back, I could maybe find a way to save Ginny's career. I think your grandfather has known I'm back for a while. He's been watching us, listening to us fight and tear each other's heads of. I bet he's been watching us like a fucking reality show."

He got off of me to sit next to me and I automatically grabbed his hand to lace my fingers with his.

"He's got cameras in the loft." He told me. "Said it's only kitchen and living room but I don't trust him. I don't know if there's any in here too."

I looked at him, my eyes wide before I looked around the room.

_What?_

"Oh my god." I muttered. I had no idea what I expected, but it wasn't that. I didn't know how to react to that. I stared right ahead, my eyes wide and my lips parted.

"He said he's been watching us talk and fight." Charlie continued. "And now he's threatening to take dad's job, take George's job and shop from him and uh—"

Charlie's body tensed up, causing me to look at him as I gave his hand a squeeze. He looked at me too, his eyes staring into mine.

"If I don't leave within the next two weeks, he'll make sure you miscarry."


	47. Chapter 47

Have you ever been so truly disgusted that you physically threw up? You've just figured something out that makes your intestines turn. That makes the hair rise on your neck, that makes you feel so nauseous that you want to dig yourself a big hole in the ground.

That's how I was feeling.

Hunched over the toilet, puking every single time it crossed my mind. My grandfather had installed cameras in our home.

What about the time I walked out completely naked, straddled Charlie on the sofa and dry-fucked him before we went and had sex in the shower?

How about when I left the bathroom naked and Charlie followed me into our room? Or the time he groped my arse in the kitchen after I fixed up the cut he had gotten from a dragon?

Or— the time we had sex in the kitchen. That was the same day doctor Vixen told us no more sex. Charlie had taken me from the back while I was facing the counter.

I seemed to be more affected by this than Charlie, but then again... he's _my_ grandfather. The man I grew up around. The man that changed my diapers when I was a baby and he babysat. That man had seen me naked, had seen me have sex because he installed cameras like a fucking stalker.

After throwing up for the hundred time, Charlie entered the bathroom with the remains of a camera in his hands.

"It was in the corner of the ceiling." He said, all his energy and happiness completely drained. "To the right of the dresser in our bedroom."

I simply looked at him — then I threw up again.

He had seen us have sex in the bed. He had seen Charlie tie me up, blindfold me and them fuck me so hard that I couldn't walk afterwards.

Charlie put the broken pieces on the sink before he crouched next to me, rubbing my back.

"Do you need me to go get one of your siblings?" He asked. "Avalon perhaps? I know it's the middle of the night but I'm sure she'd come right away and be here with you while I find the cameras."

"No." I coughed, my eyes closed as I breathed heavily. "Please don't leave me alone in the loft."

I didn't feel like I had anything else to throw up, so after wiping my mouth with some toilet paper, I flushed and leaned back against the wall, looking at Charlie who was still crouching.

I sobbed, shaking my head at him.

"I feel like his eyes are everywhere." I sobbed, wrapping my arms around myself. "I feel so disgusted that he's seen me like that."

Charlie looked at me. He didn't know what to say. I know he feels guilty about telling me, but I'm happy he told me. There's no way I'm ever going near my grandfather again.

No, he's not my grandfather. He's just... _Edison._

"You know what?" Charlie breathed and stood up. "I'm gonna pack your things and I'm gonna bring you to Avalon's—"

"No," I shook my head. "Not Avalon. Amber can't see me like this. She can't— I—"

I completely broke into tears, covering my mouth with my hand. Charlie crouched next to me again, and brought his hand up to brush my cheekbone.

"I'm so sorry, Emmy." He said in a whisper. "Okay, listen— I'm getting you out of this loft for the night. I don't know what we'll do about this in the morning, but for now I just need you to be safe."

I took a deep breath, moving my arms from around my shoulders to wrap around my stomach instead.

"What is he going to do, Charlie?" I sobbed. "How is he— I can't lose another pregnancy. I can't lose them."

"You won't." He hurried to say. "That's not going to happen. I won't let him get near you. I won't let him touch you."

I looked at him for a moment before I threw my arms around his neck with so much force that his legs gave in underneath him, though neither of us cared. He hugged me back, hiding his face in my shoulder.

"I'm so sorry." I cried. "I hated you for leaving and it wasn't even— you didn't have a choice. I'm such a bitch."

"Babe." Charlie whispered. "You didn't know. How were you supposed to know when I didn't tell you?"

I hid my face in the crook of his neck, crying while trying to push my thoughts away. I couldn't stop thinking about Edison watching us like that.

I felt violated.

"Is it okay if I let go of you?" Charlie asked. "I'm gonna go pack a bag for you and then I'm taking you to Crispus and Carrie's flat. There is no cameras in here so you'll be okay, right?"

I slowly untangled my arms from his neck and nodded as I sat back against the wall. Charlie stood up but leaned down to press a kiss to the top of my head.

He grabbed the pieces of the camera from the sink, and walked out of the bathroom, making sure not to close the door.

I know there want any camera in here. Charlie had checked every inch of the room but I still felt like Edison's eyes were everywhere and it gave me chills.

I took a deep breath as I placed a hand on my stomach. I didn't care about myself. I didn't care if I was hurt, just as long as my twins weren't.

I was gonna give birth to them and I was going to be the best mother I could possibly be and I wasn't gonna let Edison ruin that. He wasn't gonna take this away from me.

Why does he want to take it away from me? Why does he want to ruin my life? I just don't — I don't get it. What I get is that he doesn't like Charlie, but why would he ruin _my_ life, _my_ relationship and threaten to kill _my_ babies, just because he doesn't like my boyfriend?

He was supposed to be my grandfather.

He's a psychopath. He's mental and now I understand why my grandmother divorced him.

I shouldn't have let him be in my life after he committed murder. He said he regretted it, said he has to live with the guilt, but I don't think he's guilty. I don't believe him anymore.

What man at his right mind would put cameras in their granddaughter's home where she walks around naked, where she has sex.

At the thought, I the overwhelming nausea hit me again and I hunched over the toilet again, throwing up. I didn't keep count — I had no idea how many times I had thrown up but I knew it was a lot and I knew it was unhealthy.

I was just so disgusted with the whole situation that I couldn't stop throwing up.

Charlie entered the bathroom again. He must've heard that I was throwing up again, seeing as he put a bottle of water next to me and told me to take small sips because that's what helps when you throw up.

Then her went back to packing me a bag.

_What about the shop?_

My grandfather knows this place. He knows where all of his family lives. I can probably stay with Crispus and Carrie for the night but afterwards it wouldn't be safe for Charlie and I to stay.

_What about Ginny and Harry's wedding?_

That's next month and if Charlie and I have to hide, we can't be there. But what about the people he threatened too? He can't take George's shop and home from him. He started that with Fred. I don't think he'd survive having it taken from him. And Arthur's job...

Arthur can't have his job taken either.

And Ginny's career.

_Fuck._


	48. Chapter 48

It wasn't long after Charlie and I entered Crispus and Carrie's shop that Crispus came rushing down the stairs, heading straight for Charlie with this angry expression on his face that I knew from when we were kids.

"What did you do?!" Crispus yelled, grasping Charlie by the collar, pushing him towards the door. "What the fuck did you do to her now?!"

"Crispus!" I yelled. Charlie was holding his hands up in surrender, showing that he wasn't gonna do anything. "Let go of him. He didn't do anything!"

Crispus hesitated but then let go of Charlie's collar, scoffed at him before he turned towards me.

"What happened? Why are you here at four in the morning?"

_I can't even explain it._

I looked to Charlie for some kind of help, and while straightening his shirt, he walked over to stand with me.

"It's a long story, mate—"

"I'm not your mate." Crispus cut him off. "You _were,_ but then you left my sister behind, broke her heart and I lost all respect for you."

"That's not on him!" I defended Charlie, causing them both to look at me. "Edison blackmailed him. He was going to ruin Ginny's career if he didn't leave me and now he's threatening him again with ruining George's career, take his home from him, ruin Arthur's career and uh—"

I gulped.

"Have me miscarry." I muttered, hoping he wouldn't hear me.

"What was that?" Crispus cocked an eyebrow at me, folding his arms over his chest. "You're pregnant?"

"It's twins." Charlie said. "Can she stay here for the night? Edison has cameras in our loft and I'm gonna have to look for them and take them down before we travel to Romania tomorrow to stay for a while."

Crispus looked at Charlie, then looked at me and sighed. "Ember, I told you. The minute he got out of Azkaban, I told you it wasn't a good idea to trust him."

He nodded at me.

"Go upstairs. Carrie is up and will take care of you while I talk to Charlie." He said. I thanked him before I turned to Charlie.

"Here." He said softly, handing me my bag that I swing over my shoulder. "I'll see you in the morning, alright?"

With a sigh, I threw my arms around him and hugged him tightly for a moment. When I then pulled back, I pressed a kiss to his lips.

"He has to know by now that I know." I said. "And going back to the loft can be dangerous. I removed the spell from the loft before we left so now you can apparate from inside again. If he comes back, you instantly apparate here. You can't get hurt."

Charlie repaid the hug I had just given him, hugging me even tighter for a moment.

"I'll see you tomorrow." He smiled weakly. I took a deep breath and nodded before glancing at Crispus as I made my way to the stairs.

"Ember." Carrie greeted me when I entered the flat. She hugged me before taking a look at my face. She was wearing a robe, probably because we woke the two up from their sleep.

"I'm really sorry to come barging like this." I said. "Something happened and Charlie and I can't stay in the loft. It's too dangerous and I don't feel comfortable there anymore."

Carrie made us some tea and when Crispus got up after saying goodbye to Charlie, he locked the door both with a key but also with a spell.

Then I went on to explain everything to them. I went into detail but only into details I felt comfortable telling. I told them the cameras has been there when Charlie and I were in bed together but I did not want to go into detail about that when my brother was there, so that was what I said and then I moved on to me being pregnant with twins and me and Crispus' grandfather threatening me.

"We need to tell mum."

I looked at Crispus.

"Oh, no!" I protested. "I don't want to worry her."

"Worry her?" Crispus frowned. "That's her father being a fucking stalker and a psychopath. He's being a creep towards his own granddaughter so I believe mum deserves to know that because she can help."

"How is she supposed to help?"

"Help _you."_ He corrected himself. "She can help _you_ because you're her daughter. She can offer support and she can testify against him in court because tomorrow, I am gonna pay the Ministry a little visit and have a chat with them about an ex-prisoner of theirs."

I leaned back in the chair and brought the cup of tea up to my lips so I could take a sip.

"But tomorrow you and Charlie will go to Romania and focus on keeping you and your twins safe, you hear me?" Crispus asked in which I just nodded. "I'll make sure everything here is fine. I'll make a report."

"And I'll pay a visit to the Burrow to warn Arthur and Ginny and then I'll visit George in his shop so he can get an idea of what may come." Carrie said, offering a little smile.

I let out a sigh, tilting my head back.

"The war is over, yet _this_ is happening." I said. "I thought I could just get to live a normal life now. If I lose anyone else, I don't know what to do. I can't handle that."

"You won't lose anyone." Crispus said. "Once the report is in, they'll be searching for Edison and with some luck, he'll be in Azkaban in a couple of days."

"And if they can't find him?"

"A month, tops." He shrugged. "Trust me, Ember. The Aurors always find them, yeah? Isn't Harry and Ron Aurors? I'm sure they would do everything in their power to protect Arthur, Ginny and George. Also you and Charlie for that matter."

_Everything's gonna be alright._

"We'll have Jimmy and Ada come be with you while we're out." Crispus continued. "They wouldn't let anyone hurt you if Edison stops by."

Jimmy and Ada are my cousins. They're two years younger than me, born on May second which sucks due to the war and all the people who died. They're twins and they too are grandchildren of Edison. They too _hate_ him.

"I trust too much, don't I?" I asked. "I mean, this man committed murder and I forgave him because I trusted him when he said he regretted it with all his heart."

Crispus sighed.

"Well, it's a good trait to be trusting." He said. "But sometimes you're _too_ trusting and that can become a problem."

I took another sip of my tea.

"I'll make the sofa ready for you." Carrie told me and stood up. "I hope that's okay. We haven't furnished the guest room yet. We were gonna make it into a nursery but as you know, we can't conceive and we don't know when we'll be able to adopt."

I smiled at her.

"That's fine Carrie. Thanks."


	49. Chapter 49

"So Charlie came back."

"Yep."

"And you were pregnant when he left?"

"That's right."

"But you had an abortion and then he came back and his excuse was that he felt insecure about his position as your boyfriend?"

"Yep."

"Then he proposed in a fight..."

"I–"

"Then you got pregnant... again."

"I–"

"With twins."

"Jimmy–"

"But now you've found out that our grandfather is a creep who's been stalking you two and is threatening to kill your babies and ruin his family's lives."

I looked up at my cousin who looked confused while saying the stuff back to me that I had explained to him and Ada.

"The same grandfather who murdered a fucking person?" he asked. "Because trust me, Ember. We all saw it coming. He's a fucking psychopath and he's been threatening Charlie from day one."

He once told Charlie that if he hurt me, he'd kill him but then he ended up being the reason for me getting hurt.

I didn't exactly think much of it. Neither did Charlie and we both knew he had committed murder but my grandfather is a manipulator. Well, at least I just figured that out. There is no way he regrets killing that guy seeing as he is acting like a fucking creep at the moment.

"And all of this has happened in only a month?" Jimmy asked. "What–"

"Six weeks." I corrected him. "He's been back for six weeks, almost seven."

He nodded.

"And you are... how pregnant?"

"Seven weeks." I breathed. "Nearing eight."

Jimmy frowned at me, looked at Ada before looking at me again. "How can you be almost eight weeks pregnant when he's been back for almost seven weeks?"

I let out a sigh and ran a hand through my hair.

"The first two weeks, you aren't actually pregnant." I explained. "When you conceive, you're two weeks pregnant. They count it from the first day of your last menstruation cycle. I conceived on June eleventh, a couple of weeks after Charlie got ba—"

I frowned when I realised I was completely off when it came to the dates.

"...no." I sighed. "We celebrated Amethyst turning nineteen which was May twenty-first. When I got home, he was there. He's been back for two months."

"Right." Jimmy nodded. "So all of that has happened within two months?"

I leaned back on the sofa with a sigh, nodding slightly. I was waiting for Charlie to get back. Crispus had gone to the ministry and Carrie was out warning Charlie's family about what was going on.

"Jimmy why don't you make us some tea?" Ada asked. "Because right now you're being a dick by not letting Ember have some space. I'm sure the last two months have been stressful enough without you feeling the need to dig in it."

Jimmy looked at her for a second before he walked into the kitchen to make some tea. At the same time, Ada sat down next to me, facing me.

"Are you excited?" She asked. "I mean— twins. That's fun. Especially being one."

I chuckled softly but shrugged.

"Right now I'm trying to not think about the two embryos in my womb because if I do, I'll just freak myself out about what Edison threatened to do."

Ada hummed but didn't say anything. Her eyes flicked to the window and she stared out at the rain while playing with her earlobe.

"But he won't be able to get near me." I said. "I won't let him and I know Charlie won't either."

"No one will." She yawned, covering her mouth before blinking a few times, then looked at me through a pair of tired eyes. "When are you due?"

"In February." I said, sitting up straight. "The eleventh."

"Oh so they're gonna be Aquarius babies?" She asked with a smile.

"Aquarius babies with a Capricorn dad and a Virgo mum." I chuckled before my smile faded. "I'm really excited, Ada. I mean, I was nervous when I found out that I was pregnant and kinda in shock, I guess because I was pregnant too last year and had an abortion. Now it's happening again and our grandfather is threatening to get rid of them."

Before Ada got the chance to answer, the front door in the kitchen opened, earning all of our attention. I heard faint voices. One was Jimmy and the other one was Charlie.

A wave of relief washed over me, knowing that he was here and that nothing had happened to him. Edison had already hurt him by throwing a spell at him before I found him on the floor in the kitchen.

I got to my feet and hurried into the kitchen, stopping when I saw Charlie. He was talking to Jimmy, but they both stopped to look at me. Jimmy went back to making the tea, and Charlie's lips broke into a small smile.

"How did you sleep?" He asked. I rushed right at him, throwing my arms around his neck. He hugged me back, burying his face in the crook of my neck.

"Terrible." I whispered. I truly had been sleeping terrible. Charlie wasn't next to me and the whole thing with the man who was supposed to be my grandfather was creeping me out.

"Yeah?" He asked, pulling away again. His hand went up to cup my face as he studied my face. "Did you have a nightmare?"

I shook my head.

"I couldn't sleep with everything that's going on." I said. "Did you get all the cameras?"

He let go of my face and pointed at a bunch of bags next to the door. "I think so. I also got the stuff we're going to need while we stay in Romania and I actually went to the Ministry where I met Crispus. He's still talking to your dad and I gave him the broken cameras—"

"So he can't watch them, right?" I asked.

"No, don't worry. They're completely smashed. It's just so that he can see how serious it is." He told me. "He wants us to come by the house before we leave for Romania — to tell your mum too and inform the rest of your siblings."

I let out a heavy breath at the thought but nodded. I knew that was the right thing to do, but I didn't want them to look at me in that way. My grandfather had seen me naked and seen me have sex through a camera.

"Uh—" I started and played with the collar of the grey t-shirt he was wearing. "Carrie is informing your family. Warning Arthur, George and Ginny about his threats."

My eyes then flicked to his face and I nervously bit my lip. "What else did my dad say?"

Charlie wrapped an arm around my shoulders and pressed a kiss to my forehead.

"All the Aurors and hit-wizards and witches will be looking for him." He told me, keeping his arm wrapped around me in a comforting hug. "He'll be back in Azkaban before the month ends and we can come back to England."

I buried my face in his shoulder, taking in his smell for a moment before stepping back, taking a seat by the table while staring up at Charlie.

"We need to find somewhere else." I said. "I'm not going back to the loft. I don't feel comfortable there anymore — or safe."

"Okay." Charlie nodded. "I went to Romania after I talked to Crispus and your dad. Just to find somewhere we can stay until it's safe to come back. I've rented us a small house in a friendly neighbourhood in Bucharest. We're gonna give your dad the location and we're gonna give my dad the location so if they can't get a hold of us, they know where we are in case something has happened."

I hope nothing happens.

"But nothing's going to happen, okay?" Charlie assured me, raising his eyebrows slightly. "We're gonna secure the house and we're gonna make sure he can't track us down. I've thought of everything, darling. He can't hurt us."


	50. Chapter 50

When Charlie and I visited my parents, all my siblings were there too. Mum cried about what happened and after saying goodbye, Charlie and I continued to Romania.

The first thing he did when he walked through the fireplace after me, stepping into the house he had rented, was to cast a spell on the fireplace so no one could travel through it.

I placed my trunk on the floor before looking around. The house looked to be fully furnished but it _was_ a rental where people go on holiday.

We're just here to escape my grandfather.

As I stood and looked at the room we were in which was a living room with a dining table at the back and a doorframe that led to a kitchen, I felt Charlie wrap his arms around me from behind.

He placed his chin on my shoulder, his hands resting on my stomach.

"You okay?" He asked, planting a kiss on my shoulder.

"I don't know." I said honestly. "I just feel like his eyes are everywhere and I feel like I need to wash my body and scrub over and over again to get the feeling away."

That made Charlie tighten his grip around me. I placed my arms on top of his as I leaned into his touch.

"Everything'a going to be okay. He'll be in Azkaban soon and we can return to London." He whispered. "You'll give birth to our twins and we can raise them without having to worry about anything."

I turned around in his arms, wrapping my arms around his neck so I could look at him.

"Can you uh–" I gulped, my eyes flicking from his eyes to his lips. "I don't know if I can... if not–"

I sighed.

"Do you need me to check the house for cameras?" he asked softly, brushing some hair behind my ear. My eyes flicked back to his as I nodded slowly, biting down on my lip.

_"Please."_

Charlie pressed a kiss to my forehead before we let go of each other.

"I'll start in the bathroom in case you want to take a bath." he told me, waiting until I had sat down in the armchair, before he walked towards a small hallway between the kitchen and a few other rooms.

I leaned down and undid my shoelaces before gently pulling off my shoes. I stood up again and walked over to the front door, placing them there. A light turned on from a room in the hallway and I heard rattling as Charlie looked for cameras.

I had gotten way too paranoid but I couldn't ignore the feeling of someone watching me. The fear of him still being able to see me through a camera.

I walked back to the armchair and sat down, leaning back while crossing my legs. I placed a hand on my stomach and looked down at it, thinking about my babies and how their own great-grandfather threatened to get rid of them.

I wasn't showing yet, but seeing as I'm carrying twins, I'd probably start noticing my baby bump soon. 

Pregnancy shouldn't have to be this stressful. I was supposed to be home in London, in my loft without feeling uncomfortable about being there. I was supposed to wake up to Charlie each morning with a smile on my face, excited to go into parenthood.

But instead I now have to worry about a family member of mine who's threatened to make me miscarriage. How he'd manage, I have no idea but I know if he really wants to, he would find a way.

Or maybe he wouldn't.

Maybe it's all in his mouth.

But maybe he would...

He _did_ put cameras in my loft.

He did watch _me_ , his own granddaughter walk around naked, have sex with her boyfriend, fight with her boyfriend.

The fighting though – that's the least of my worries. The man violated me without being there. My grandfather violated me, violated Charlie and violated our privacy.

I heard water being turned on in the room Charlie was in, pulling me from my thoughts. I pulled myself out of the chair and made my way down the small and dark hallway to the door at the end that had light coming from it.

"Charlie?" I asked softly, approaching the door. I pushed it open and my eyes landed on my boyfriend who was in the middle of filling up the bathtub. He looked up and smiled comfortably when he saw me.

"I thought a bath would be nice, yeah?" he asked. "It'll help you relax a little."

I stepped inside, looking around for any cameras, but Charlie stopped me.

"There is none, angel." he said. "I've checked. I'll check the rest of the house in a second. I just need to get you some towels and some fresh clothes."

I'm still in the clothes I took on after I found out Edison was watching us through cameras. Changing into something else had been the last thing on my mind.

"Are you gonna be okay?" he asked, walking over to me. He brought a hand to my jaw, making me look at him.

"Yeah." I tried to force a small smile. "Thank you."

He repaid the smile before leaning in to kiss me.

"I'll be back with the towels." he told me, brushing his knuckles over my cheekbone before leaving the bathroom, leaving the door opened just a little.

I looked at the bath as I peeled the hoodie off my body, letting it fall to the floor. I wasn't wearing a bra. I had just changed out of my usual t-shirt after Charlie told me the truth, and put on a thick red hoodie.

I pulled down my grey sweatpants along with my knickers before I approached the tub, pulling my hair back into a bun, using the hair tie I always had around my wrist.

I lowered myself into the tub. The water was warm. The exact temperature that Charlie knew I preferred. It actually felt really nice. My body relaxed instantly as it sunk into the water.

My mind went straight to Charlie's job. What was he gonna do now? We have enough money to not work for a while but he loves his dragons and he wouldn't be able to survive mentally if he didn't get the chance to work.

Then there's my shop. Valencia, Calypso and Brazier were still going to work there. Brazier was gonna help our sisters while doing financing. Amethyst had promised to help me with the publishing company, seeing as I can't be there right now because of all of this and she's got a bit of experience on her hands. She worked with me over a summer where she wanted to see what it was like, so I still have my shop and my company running, but Charlie can lose his job.

"What about your work?" was the first thing I asked when Charlie joined me in the bathroom again, three bottles in one hand, somehow balanced between his fingers, and two towels in the other.

His eyes met mine as he approached the tub. He placed the bottles and the towel on top of the towel behind my head and by the wall, then sat down on the edge, looking at me again.

"What about it?"

"What if they fire you?"

Charlie shrugged.

"Then they fire me." he told me. "I am going to write them, let them know kinda what's going on so they know why I'm not showing up for work, but if they fire me, I'll just have to put up with it."

I sat up, looking at Charlie as he looked at me with pure love.

"You love your work."

"But I love you more."

I pressed my lips together, feeling the need to cry for some reason. All he did was tell me he loves me and he's said that thousand of times. It must be because of everything that's happening.

"Get in." I said softly, causing him to raise his eyebrows at me. "I'm not the only one who's been having a bad couple of days."

He looked at me for a moment without saying anything. Then he stood up and pulled his shirt off. While he got completely undressed, I moved forward in the tub. Charlie got in behind me, wrapping his arms around me to pull me back against his torso.

I felt Charlie run his nose along my shoulder before pressing a kiss to my skin. I leaned into his embrace. His body was warm and the way one arm was wrapped around my torso under my boobs as his other hand rubbed up and down my arm was comforting. I closed my eyes, my body melting against his.

He then placed a kiss underneath my ear, then on my temple when I leaned my head back against his shoulder.

"Is the marriage proposal still active?" I asked in a whisper, causing Charlie's actions to freeze. Then he ran his hand down my arm and found my hand under the water, lacing his fingers with mine.

"If you're asking me if I still want to marry you, the answer is yes." he said. "Why? Are you saying yes?"

I hummed, opening my eyes to look at him.

"The reason I said no was because I didn't know if I would be able to trust you again." I said. "I didn't know the real reason to why you left but now I know you were just trying to protect Ginny, and I would probably have done the same... I do want to marry you Charlie... especially if–"

I stopped talking and my eyes flicked away from his face to stare somewhere into the room.

"You can't think like that, angel." he whispered, brushing his nose over my cheekbone. "I know he's dangerous–"

"Exactly." I cut him off. "He _is_ dangerous. I didn't think he was because I thought it was an accident back then but now... if he does something like this, he must be fucking sick in the head and what else can he do then?"

"Emmy." Charlie whispered, placing two fingers against my jaw to turn my face so he could look at me properly. "Listen to me, darling. He's not going to hurt me and he's not going to hurt you."

He pressed his lips to mine, kissing me softly for a few seconds before we looked at each other again. He cupped my face, stroking my cheek with his thumb as he studied my features.

"We'll only be here for a little while, yeah?" he smiled softly. "He'll be in Azkaban soon and we can go back. We'll find somewhere to stay, possibly buy a house like we used to talk about. With the babies arriving by February, I think a house would be great, don't _you?"_

I hummed, resting my forehead against his jaw as I closed my eyes again.

"That sounds wonderful."


	51. Chapter 51

The day after we moved in, things weren't much different. Apart from Charlie absolutely spoiling me with breakfast in bed and officially proposing to me while I still looked like shit from sleeping, I spend most of the day still looking for cameras because I was so paranoid.

Every ten minutes, I'd also make sure the front door was locked both with a key but also with a spell. I had closed every single curtain in the house, scared that he was somewhere outside, looking in at us.

I didn't walk around naked like I used to do at the loft. As soon as I had showered, I'd change into something that covered up my body and I wasn't able to sleep either if I wasn't wearing both pants and a jumper.

It was a little hot but I felt myself panic if my arms or legs weren't completely covered. I hated that this was how I felt. I hated that I felt like this, but knowing that Edison had watched us, freaked me out.

I felt violated and I didn't feel like myself anymore.

It had been a little over a week since we moved to Romania and I just hit nine weeks pregnant. I'm starting to show a little but and the healer that we found here, told me that my babies are healthy even though I've been very stressed.

Charlie made sure to find one that could come here and have my appointments in the house, seeing as I can't walk out a door, in fear that Edison will be there. It just sits in the back of my head – the fear of him finding us.

It was August. The tenth of August and we were getting closer to Ginny and Harry getting married. Were we gonna be able to be there? I had no idea.

They hadn't caught Edison yet and we couldn't return as long as we were in danger but I didn't want to miss the wedding. Ginny had asked me to be her maid of honour and how was I supposed to be that if I weren't there?

I know our safety is more important but I just felt so guilty for some reason. Like all of this was my fault. Logically, I knew it wasn't my fault, but there was still this part of my brain that wouldn't stop fighting me on it.

I had also gotten a lot more clingy and Charlie had noticed. If he didn't tell me where he was going, I'd panic. I'd like to stay in the same room with him all the time, though I wasn't following him when he had to pee or if he needed a shower.

He said he didn't mind. I found myself annoying but I was just so full of fear. He kept assuring me it was fine and that he just wanted me to feel safe. I did feel safe with him, just not alone.

"Emmy?" Charlie asked softly, brushing his fingers through my hair on the morning of my ninth weeks milestone. I hummed, opening my eyes to look at him. He was propped up on an elbow, facing me while the other hand had played with my hair for a while now. "We should get up, darling. We need to be able to sleep again tonight."

"No." I muttered, moving closer to him, nudging my nose against his shoulder before throwing a leg over his hip. "I want to sleep."

"I know you do." he said, planting a kiss on my forehead. "Five minutes more then?"

"Ten."

"Ten minutes." he confirmed with a small chuckle, wrapping his arm around me. "And then we'll get up."

I smiled weakly against his shoulder, absolutely loving the sound of his chuckle. It always went straight to my heart which would then ache from how much love I have for him.

"Oh.." I muttered when I felt the overwhelming sensation of having to throw up. I got up and out of bed before basically sprinting to the bathroom.

I sunk to my knees in front of the toilet and emptied out my stomach. I could hear the floor creak as Charlie made his way down the small hallway, showing up in the doorway. He took a look at me before he sighed and crouched next to me, pulling my hair away from my face.

"Is that the morning sickness kicking in?" he asked, rubbing my back. "Or was it because I _smell?"_

I couldn't help but laugh as I reached for some toilet paper to wipe my mouth.

"Don't make me laugh." I breathed, a frown plastered on my face. "I'm nine weeks pregnant and I haven't experienced morning sickness yet. I was hoping I wouldn't get to experience it at all."

I flushed the toilet before I sat back against the wall, looking at Charlie as he ran his fingers through the mess he calls hair.

"How about I make us breakfast and we eat it out in the garden?"

I felt my body tense up at the suggestion. I hated that I was so scared about everything and I didn't want to keep him inside with me because he absolutely loves nature and fresh air, but at the same time, I felt scared about being alone.

"I know the thought terrifies you." Charlie moved closer to me. "Trust me. I am not about to do anything if I have the slightest idea that it's dangerous. It's just breakfast in the garden and then we head back inside and watch a film or something."

I took a deep breath.

I was really trying my best to fight my fear so that I could do this for Charlie. I stared at him as my brain fought my feelings.

"I hate feeling like this." I said in a whisper, closing my eyes so I wouldn't cry. "I'm sorry, Charlie."

He moved over to sit next to me and wrapped an arm around me to comfort me.

"Don't apologise, angel." he told me. "It's okay. It was only a suggestion. We're gonna take it at your pace, and eventually you'll feel ready to take a step."

I wrapped an arm around his torso, leaning in to him as he held me in his embrace. He pressed a kiss to the top of my head while rubbing my arm.

"You're going to be okay, darling." he assured me. "I know it doesn't seem like it, but you're so strong. When they catch him, we go back to London and we'll get you a therapist who can help you in a way that I can't."

I sighed.

"This fucking sucks."

Before what happened, I was able to live my life properly without fear because the war was over, but now I'm scared of living and at the same time, I'm feeling homesick, but we can't go home and that hurts even more than the anxiety I was experiencing.

"It really does." Charlie chuckled at my use of words, planting another kiss on my head. "Will you be okay in here while I go cook us some breakfast? I assume you'll want to brush your teeth to get rid of the taste."

I hummed and sat up straight, running a hand through my messy hair.

"Just keep the door open, will you?" I asked. Charlie nodded and twirled a lock of my hair around his finger before locking it behind my ear. Then he got up and helped me up as well.

"Of course." he told me. "Now what would you like to eat?"

He ran his hands down my sides before resting them against my stomach.

"Or should I ask the boys what they'd like to eat?"

I rolled my eyes.

"We've talked about this, Charles. We don't know the sex of the twins so stop assuming or you'll just be disappointed."

Charlie smiled and wrapped his arms around me, planting a kiss on my forehead.

"I would never be disappointed, my love. Two boys and I'd love them. Two girls, I'd love them just as much and if one of each, I'd be fucking delighted but I know that's more rare in twins."

I let out a small laugh as I shook my head.

"Where did you hear that? There's a fifty percent chance it'll be one boy and one girl." I said. "It's not more rare nor more common."

"Oh." Charlie muttered at the realisation, before his eyes focused on me. "Well, I still wouldn't care. No matter the sex, I'd love our babies equally as much."

He pecked my cheek before letting go of me, smiling before he turned around and left the bathroom, leaving the door open.

"I'll make an omelet!" he shouted while I walked over to the sink to brush my teeth. I stared at myself in the mirror while grabbing my toothbrush.

I had faint bags under my eyes and my hair was a curly mess right now. My hair wasn't as curly as Charlie's which I felt pretty happy about. Mine was more a mix between curly and wavy so I didn't have to do so much to take care of it.

While brushing my teeth, I kept staring at my green eyes. They were full of exhaustion and I found myself wondering why Charlie would want to stay with me after what happened. I knew he loved me, but now he had to be patient for me to be okay again and I was scared he was gonna lose that patience.

Though I quickly pushed away the thought. I knew he loved me and I know what you are willing to do for the people you love. I shouldn't think like that. He didn't leave me because of me, so now I knew he would never leave _because_ of me.

Like Charlie said.

_Everything is going to be okay._


	52. Chapter 52

Charlie

Have you ever looked at someone without having any idea what's going on inside their head?

I know her and I used to be able to read her expressions, but now she was so different that it hurt.

She's cuddled up on the sofa underneath a blanket, staring at the small television screen with no expression whatsoever.

At night or in the mornings, she'd be extra cuddly and in a better mood, but as soon as she was out of bed, it was like she stepped into a new reality.

The real reality.

The reality where she was struggling because she felt violated by her own grandfather. The reality where she is terrified of the future, terrified of raising babies in this world.

She wouldn't admit it, but I know her. Sometimes she just lies there and looks down at her tiny bump. I've heard her talk to them when I'm not in the room.

She's scared that they'll even be hurt in the way we've been hurt.

"Whisky?" Ember's fragile voice sounded from behind me, causing me to smile as she hadn't called me whisky for a while.

I turned around and looked at her and the pile of papers she was carrying in her hands. I put down the shirt I had folded it after I had taken it down from the clothing line.

Since what happened, I've taken on the chores. Before we used magic or split the chores, but now we're trying to do minimal magic and I've taken on all the chores, knowing that she doesn't have the mentality for it right now.

I caught her trying to fix the doorknob to our bedroom the other day and she broke down crying after a couple of minutes, out of frustration from not being able to do so.

I looked at Ember as she stood in the doorway to the laundry room. Her face was red and tear stained and her lips were swollen.

She was sniffing softly.

"What's up angel?" I asked with a smile, pointing to the papers in her hands. "What's that?"

"It's my—" she looked down at it. "... I finished my self biography."

I slowly put down the shirt I had folded and turned to walk towards her.

"Oh shit." I mumbled. I watched as her eyes flicked up to scan my face while she handed me the pile of papers, all attached to each other. "Really?"

The journey of becoming...

"I'm not so sure about the title." She hurried to say and used her sleeve to wipe her cheeks before wrapping her arms around herself. "Usually I don't have this kind of struggle with naming my books, but this is about me... it's frustrating."

"I like it." I told her and brought a hand up to cup her jaw, my thumb stroking her cheek while I placed the manuscript on the side table in the room. "And if you're not sure about it, you can change it. It hasn't been published yet."

"It won't be published." She started tearing up again and her bottom lip trembled. "Not for a while. How can I possibly publish it when he's out there somewhere planning who knows what."

She had made progress. She's capable of being in a different room than me, but she still has to hear my voice at least every tenth minute so I make sure to go check on her

Today, she had been sitting with her biography, desperate to finish it.

"Ember." I called softly, continuing to rub her skin. She looked up at my face, scanning it. "Look at my eyes, baby. Look at my eyes."

She did.

"Relax." I said in a whisper. She had started to freak out and I hated seeing her like that. "Take a deep breath."

I guided her through a deep breath, her eyes staying on mine. Afterwards, I ran my hand down to her arm and rubbed it before pulling her in for a hug, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

She automatically wrapped her arms around my back, hugging me tightly as she buried her face in my chest.

I ran my fingers into her hair, playing with it because I knew it relaxed her. It always relaxed her.

I love this woman to death.

Her birthday is soon — in a couple of weeks. I really want to give her a pet. She loves animals and I know pets can be great support animals when you go through a difficult time.

First I was considering a dragon but then I remember when I brought one home and she yelled at me because we can't keep a dragon as a pet.

Ridiculous.

"You smell good." I whispered against her hair. She pulled her head back to look up at me, resting her chin against my chest.

"I doubt that." She said. "I haven't had a shower for two days."

"Well, you smell good to me." I told her and kissed her forehead. "Do you think you might be ready for eating in the garden? It's totally fine if you're not. You've already taken a huge step by being in the bedroom on your own."

She looked at me but didn't say anything. I knew she wanted to be able to spend some time outside to make me proud but I needed her to know that it was completely fine if she wasn't ready.

"No?" I asked, shaking my head slightly and when she shook her head as well, I nodded and smiled comfortably at her. "That's okay."

She tried to force a small smile and reached up to plant a kiss on my lips while running her fingers shortly into my hair.

"I think I'll take a nap." She said before looking to her manuscript. "Do you want to read it? I'd like your opinion."

"Of course." I told her. "I'm sure it's fantastic."

She let out a breath.

"I hope so." She said, glancing up at my face before she turned around and walked out of the room.

My smile immediately dropped and I instead frowned at the aching feeling in my heart.

I wish I could take away all the pain she was experiencing. The only thing I could do was be there for her with support and respect when it came to her feelings and her boundaries.

I got finished up in the laundry room before I grabbed the manuscript and left the room. On my way to the living room, I checked on Ember, seeing her asleep on her side of the bed, her back turned to me and the duvet pulled up and over her shoulders, but her leg was sticking out, the sleeve pushed up over her calf.

I pushed the door open a little further, walking over to her side of the bed. I put the manuscript on the nightstand before I pulled down the sleeve to cover her leg. It was one of the things she'd obsess over.

If she woke up and she wasn't covered, she'd stare at the area and sometimes cry. She was completely traumatised by having him see her naked body.

I understood why but it harmed me to see her so broken and I wanted to make it better.

I gently pushed her leg under the duvet and pushed the sides of it underneath her body so it hopefully wouldn't slip off of her.

After I planted a kiss on her forehead, I grabbed the manuscript and left the room, leaving the door open.

I took a seat in the armchair, reading through her self biography. I found myself smiling at some parts and wanting to cry at other parts.

She wrote about everything. From her childhood with her siblings and her parents, including the part about visiting her grandfather in prison, to what just had happened.

She had added the part about the cameras, about him stalking us and us having to hide.

She definitely couldn't publish it until it was safe. It would put her in great danger so he had to really be locked away for good.

It was a great biography. It was written really professionally which I had expected. She's talented — always has been.

The part where she mentioned me leaving, was what almost made me cry. Once again I got an insight in how she felt during that period and it hurt that I did that to her, even if it was her grandfather's fault, I was still the one who left, the one who hurt her.

Another thing that almost made me cry, was when she wrote about Fred. She captured his personality perfectly and she did a great job at honouring him.

When I finished reading it, it was dark outside. I noticed that one of the curtains were open, which caused me to quickly put the manuscript aside so I could close it.

When I turned around, Ember was standing in the doorway to our bedroom, staring at me with a blanket wrapped around her body.

"I read your manuscript." I told her with a smile. "I love it."

She frowned.

"You do?"

"I do." I nodded. "And I'm proud of you. I know how long you've been working on it."

She smiled a little, trying to hide it but I recognised that smile. She was proud of herself, and she had every right to be.

"Do you want dinner?" I asked. "I can cook us something."

She pulled her lips to the side before she looked towards the kitchen, then looked at me.

"Can I cook tonight?" She asked, rubbing one of her eyes with the palm of her hand. "I miss cooking."

I was taken back. I hadn't expected that, but it warmed my heart because it felt like progress.

"Sure." I smiled. "I mean— of course you can cook, angel."


	53. Chapter 53

**Charlie**

Ember had cooked us shakshuka with veggies and as always, it tasted great.

As we were eating, none of us said anything. I was watching her, observing her to see if she was okay, and she was just sitting there in deep thoughts while eating.

_She looks so beautiful._

Her hair was a slight mess. It wasn't completely brushed through but it wasn't crazy either. It was parted on the side though normally she had a middle part and then the way her hair would flow around her face, making her look like a princess, just made me love her so much more.

I love the many freckles on her face. She's got more than I do and sometimes when she's asleep, I try and count them.

Once, she woke up while I was counting them, and when she noticed, she just smiled widely and kissed me.

"What are you thinking about?" I decided her to ask, tilting my head.

Ember looked up at me, our eyes meeting for a short second before she looked down again.

"Do you remember our holiday to Namibia when we were nineteen?"

I hummed.

"We went for a walk in the desert." I said and chuckled over how ridiculous that sounded. "And when you got tired of walking, you apparated back to our hotel room."

The chuckle that escaped her lips made me smile as my heart filled with warmth.

"I was thinking that one day we could go back there." I said. "Once the babies are born and can walk. It was beautiful in Namibia, don't you think?"

She hummed.

"What was the city we stayed in?" I asked, looking at the table. "I don't quite remember."

"Swakopmund." She responded softly as she moved her fork around in the food instead of actually eating it. "The beach was my favourite place. Apart from when we got those bad sunburn."

I smiled at the memory of how red our skin was after the day at the beach.

"That's what you get for being gingers." I chuckled. "We get burned way too easily."

She looked at me from under her eyelashes and that was the first time in a while that she had looked at me with so much love in her eyes.

It felt like having her back.

I knew that she'd go back to how she was before dinner and that was okay. She was traumatised from what happened and needed time, help and support to get through it.

I was just happy to see her smile a little and see her face light up when we talked about our memories together.

"I used to be insecure about being a red-head." She told me and sat up straight, looking at her food again. "I never told you that. I dunno why. Before Hogwarts, the other kids would pick at me in school for having a temper or for being pale. They'd call me a witch because apparently according to Muggle history, a witch is something evil and they used to burn women they believed to be witches. Mostly, that woman had red hair. It's pretty ironic that I _was_ a witch, just not the kind they were talking about. They just didn't know that."

She looked up again to see my expression.

"Then I met you." She said with a small smile. "Another ginger. The only red-heads I had ever been around was my family so when I met you and we became friends — I was happy."

I smiled.

"Do you remember how Tonks always changed her hair colour to change mine?" She added and I nodded. "She did that because she knew I was insecure about it. She said we were in it together and then we'd laugh about it."

Her smile dropped and when she let go of her fork to cover her face as she broke into small sobs, I immediacy stood up, the chair being pushed back.

I walked around the table and crouched down before bringing her in for a hug.

"I miss her." She cried into my shoulder while clutching onto my shirt.

"I know, angel." I whispered and placed a kiss against her head as I comforted her in my embrace.

Since the Battle of Hogwarts, she hadn't been able to talk about the loss she experienced herself.

All she did was take care of me because of the loss we shared, but she didn't take care of herself when it came to losing Tonks — one of her best friends from Hogwarts.

I blamed myself for it. I was being selfish by refusing to get out of bed. I lost my little brother but she lost him too, along with her friend.

"Oh shit." She cursed and chuckled softly, pulling away to look at me. "I'm sorry."

"What for?" I asked as she grabbed my face and studied it. "You don't have to apologise for anything, my love."

She sighed and brushed my cheekbones with her thumbs, still scanning my face with her eyes.

"Yes I do. I'm doing to you what you did to me after the war."

"No, Ember." I grasped her jaw to make her look at my eyes. "That cannot be compared. You're getting out of bed and you just cooked us dinner. I was being selfish back then but you're not."

"It feels like—"

"No." I interrupted her. "You are _not_ being selfish. I don't want you to think that."

She sniffed and closed her voice for a moment before opening them again, looking at me.

"You're really beautiful." She said. I smiled up at her as she kept her grasp on my face and kept studying my features. "On the inside too. You're gonna be a great dad."

She wrapped her arms around my neck and hugged me, resting her head against my shoulder.

"I'm tired." She whispered.

"Yeah? You don't want to finish dinner first?"

"I'm not hungry anymore."

"Okay." I whispered and wrapped my hands around her thighs, wrapping her legs around my hips before standing up. "Let's get you to bed then."

I walked into the bedroom with her and put her down on the bed. She automatically untangled her legs and moved up to slide underneath the duvet.

As soon as her head hit that pillow, she started to doze off and I couldn't help but smile at how adorable she looked.

I tucked her in, making sure she was covered by the duvet before I left the room again and made sure the door was open.

I finished eating my dinner before I cleaned up after the both of us and then I took my daily trip around the house, making sure every window was closed and covered and the door locked from both a lock and a spell.

As I said was doing some light cleaning around the house, there was a tap at one of the windows, scaring me as I had been deep in thoughts.

I accidentally dropped the dust cloth to the ground and looked towards the window where the sound came from.

I looked towards the bedroom and hurried over there, closing the door a little, but not completely.

I decided to walk to the window next to the one I heard the tap from. I carefully looked behind the curtain and let out a breath of relief when I saw Crispus' owl.

I opened the window, and Rolo flew in and sat on the kitchen counter, letting go of the letter she was carrying.

"Hi girl." I smiled and stroke her feathers before picking up the letter.

I looked at it for a moment, scanning the front before I put it down and found some food she could eat while I read.

_Dear Charles,_

_I am writing you so you can make the decision to tell Ember or to not. She won't take it well so it's up to you._

_They found Edison, but they couldn't catch him._

_Our father was there and so was Brazier even though he was told not to get involved with the Aurors job._

_Brazier is in a coma._

_The same kind that Ember was in after the war._

_He hit his head pretty harshly when Edison shot a spell at him and he cracked his skull._

_He's hospitalised at St. Mungos and they don't know when or if he'll ever wake up._

_I know I said it's up to you, but my advice would be not to tell Ember. She's been through too much and I'm afraid this would break her._

_She's feel guilty and she'd want to come home, but it's not safe. He's still out there._

_Kind regards,_   
_Crispus Coil_

I stared at the letter and gripped it harder while rereading it. I kept reading it over and over again until the message sunk into my brain.

Brazier?

He's in a coma...

I looked towards the bedroom.

Ember's eighteen-years-old brother.

_She can't handle that._


	54. Chapter 54

**Charlie**

Ember was still asleep.

It was seven in the morning and I hadn't had even just ten minutes of sleep. All night, I had just been doing different things around the house, trying to find a way to tell her about her brother.

Crispus advised me to not tell her, but she's my bloody fiancé and I know she would want to know, no matter how hard it breaks her that she can't be with him.

Currently I was sitting on the bed, watching her sleep while I played with her red hair. She was lying on her side, facing me.

Normally she slept on her stomach, but because of the bump that was starting to show, it had gotten uncomfortable for her.

Her cheek was squished against the pillow and her lips were parted while she breathed heavily.

I've always done this.

Watched her sleep because it calms me and it makes me happy, seeing such a beautiful women sleep next to me, knowing she's mine.

It makes me feel like the luckiest man alive.

I had decided to get her a kitten for her birthday. She loves cats and they're easier to take care of than dogs.

The only question is — how do I get out of the house to adopt one?

Ember's not ready for me to leave the house and leave her alone and I'm not about to do something that can set her off and scare her.

"Charlie." Ember's voice made me smile. "You know I can't sleep when you stare at me like that."

She opened her eyes and looked up at me.

"I'm sorry." I said, running my fingers through the front of her hair.

"You never apologise when I catch you." She mumbled and closed her eyes again. "What's wrong?"

She moved closer to me, cuddling up to my side while she threw an arm over me.

"You probably want to sit up for this." I said which caused her eyes to open quickly and then she slowly pulled herself up to sit, running her hand through her hair.

"What time is it?"

"A little past seven." I told her, running the back of my fingers down her upper arm. "Come here."

She looked at me in confusion as I moved up to sit against the headboard, my legs spread so she could lie between them.

She hesitated but moved up, lying down between my legs so that her back was to my front.

I wrapped my arms around her body and pressed a kiss to her head.

"I received a letter from Crispus after you went to sleep." I said. "The Aurors found Edison—"

"They did?!" Her voice was full of excitement which broke my heart.

She got herself excited by just hearing those words and now I had to take that away from me.

"Babe, it's not—" I sighed. "...it's not good news."

"Oh..."

"They found him but they couldn't catch him. Your dad was there, working alongside his colleagues and then Brazier apparently showed up."

"What?"

She sat up straight, turning so she could look at my face.

"Why was he there? He shouldn't be there. Edison is dangerous and he obviously doesn't care if it's family or not... he ruins people's life and..."

"Ember." I cut off her rambling and grabbed her hands, causing her eyes to flick up to mine.

"Why would you mention Brazier being there after saying it's bad news?" She asked and her face started showing the realisation when she saw my face and the way I teared up. "Is he— is Brazier..."

She closed her eyes and I realised what she was thinking.

"Oh god, no!" I told her. "He's not dead. Fuck, I'm so sorry that I made it seem like that."

She let out a breath of relief before she wiped her eyes.

"But he's in a coma." I told her. "Edison used some spell. I don't know which but Brazier hit his head like you did during the Battle of Hogwarts, and I guess they can't wake him up. They don't know if he ever will."

She looked at me as she processed what I said, then she let out a shaking breath and clamped a hand over her mouth.

Her reaction broke me.

The sound she let out against her hand was the mix between a scream and a cry.

"Ember—" I tried to reach for her but she moved away from me, got off the bed and nearly stumbled out of the room, keeping herself up by keeping a hand on the wall.

When I heard the bathroom door, I got out of bed and followed her out there.

She was on her knees by the toilet, throwing up. I walked over behind her and brushed her hair back, holding it for her so that she didn't get puke in it.

"We should never have left." She mumbled, crying softly. "I can't— I need to see that letter."

"Okay." I said, rubbing her back before she moved over to sit against the wall. She reached for some toilet paper to wipe her mouth. "I'll go get the letter."

She glanced up at me before she closed her eyes, and I left the bathroom to find the letter in the kitchen.

She wouldn't like what Crispus wrote. She wouldn't like that he didn't want me to tell her, but she asked for the letter and I wasn't gonna refuse to give it to her.

When I grabbed the letter, I looked at it for a minute, sighing. As I turned around, I caught the glimpse of Ember as she entered our bedroom, and I decided to follow her.

She pulled out one of the big bags from under the bed and walked to the dresser. I stood there, watching her as she grabbed clothes and threw in the back.

"Ember, we're not leaving."

I tried to stay calm, knowing the last thing she needed was for me to raise my voice or come off as just a little rough.

"Ember...."

She wasn't thinking clearly right now. She was panicking and I couldn't blame her. She loved her family more than anything and after everything that has happened, she now has to deal with her brother being hurt and perhaps never waking up again.

When she put some more clothes into the bag, I walked over and gently grabbed her wrist to stop her and make her look at me.

"He's my brother, Charlie." She said weakly, fighting her tears. "We need to go home."

"Even if we did go home, we wouldn't be able to do anything." I said. "I know that staying in Romania will be hard, but we're here for our safety and for our twins safety."

I handed her the letter and she looked at it, sighing as she sat down in the bed. She brought her hand up to wipe her cheeks before she unfolded the letter and started reading it, her hands slightly shaking.

While she read, I grabbed the clothes she had already packed, and I unpacked it, putting it back in the dresser.

"He's eighteen." I then heard her cry, which caused me to turn around.

She was full on sobbing again, her hands shaking even more as she stared at the piece of parchment.

"I can't lose my baby brother." She cried. "Charlie I can't—"

She dropped the hand to the floor as she placed a hand against her chest, trying to control her breathing.

I hurried by her side and put the letter aside before I crouched in front of me.

"Look at me, darling." I said, grabbing her hands to hold them in mine. "Remember, we've been in this situation before. You were in a coma and they couldn't wake you up because when it's the brain or severe head damage, magic can't do anything. They told us they didn't know if you'd ever wake up — told us to prepare to say goodbye, but you woke up, Emmy... and so will Brazier."

She closed her eyes.

"I want to go home." She sobbed. "I don't want to be here while my brother's hospitalised."

"I know." I said. "But going back to England right now can be dangerous and we need to stay safe for the sake of the family we'll be having in six months."

She looked at me for a moment before she got her hands away from mine and pushed herself further into the bed, grabbing one of the pillows, hugging it close to her body.

I wish I could promise her that he would be okay, but there was no way I could know if he would.

"Why was he even there?" She asked softly. "He shouldn't— he's eighteen! His life has just begun! His _adulthood_ has just begun..."

I crawled onto the bed with her and wrapped my arms around her, feeling her lean into my embrace, resting her head against my chest.

Her crying increased again and I placed a hand against her head, rocking her softly in my arms. I simply let her cry, letting her get her emotions out.

"I'm so sorry darling." I whispered. "I know how you're feeling."

I _did_ know how she was feeling.

I remember Ember having that seizure after we won the war and then she just didn't wake up afterwards and she stayed in that coma for months.

I was terrified.

Scared out of my mind.

I thought I was gonna lose her, and now she's going through that.

She has to worry about losing her brother, and losing your brother is painful. It's the worst thing that happened to me and I don't want her to experience that either.

**Author's Note:**

> How'd you like the first chapter? I know it's quite short but it was only to show how Ember and Charlie met each other when they were kids.
> 
> \- Julie


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